Yeah. I suppose I'm still fixated on what I could have done differently when in truth the point might be to learn not to put yourself in that position, maybe I just can't see it yet. I don't know, makes me spin my wheels this one. Anyway, it's late I'm turning in.

PS

I think one of the best things you can do for somone is to genuinely listen to them, give them support and never judge them.
Just listening can make the world of difference to somone

This is interesting and relevant to a recent situation I was in. Basically with a girl who told me her first boyfriend was overly dominant and she hated it and that she had some overall issues (not major ones though) with sex and other boyfriends since (one who demanded it everyday and another who just didnt want it), this was after we'd been seeing each other a lot for a few weeks and me not getting any whilst scratching my head and the combination of these confused the hell out of me.

The freezeout which so many PUA's talk about is, I feel, pretty manipulative and something I avoid. Instead my whole attitude was one of normalising sex and talking about it to a point where it dosnt matter if we do or don't have it (but I like her and would love to share it with her when she's ready), it's just sex and building trust by not being pushy and making it a big deal, being open and honest about things, telling her her I won't judge her (which is true), explaining thats it something we share and not something she's giving me or I'm giving her among other things, was all genuine stuff.

Anyway after three missed opportunities and some pressure building to not leave it too long and both of us knowing that it would happen soon, she told me her house was free and to come over in the morning and I devised a plan which I thought would show dominance, but give her some control and not make her uncomfortable. I decided when I met her at the train station to tell her that we were going to go her house and have amazing passionate sex and neither of us would say word until it was finished, unless she felt uncomfortable at which point just say so and we would stop.

Anyway I got off the train and the fact that I had a plan, fucked with my head and I couldn't follow it through and went completley inside my head kicking myself for not saying or doing it. Got to hers and I completley forgot about it and we went upstairs and everything happened naturally anyway. Since then she told me she feels like she's discovered proper sex for the first time which is great and how much she loves it and everything is pretty awesome. Not sure what you can take from this, but I'm sure there's a lesson to be learnt in there somewhere.