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How Have You Changed Since Starting PUA? -
07-01-2011, 09:51 PM
It's time to feel good about ourselves, something I believe you can never have enough of, so I've started what will become a feelgood thread. A place where people can write, for the whole world to see, about how they've changed over the past month/6 months/3 years. It is not important that people will read it, more that you will write it - a place where you can really think about where you've succeeded and where you're still aiming for and write it down to show yourself just how far you've come. An interesting metaphor for this came from my experiences surfing (DHV spike!) - when wading out to sea, before you're acclimatised, you occasionally look back and see that you've actually covered about 100 yards in 20 minutes.
This is the opposite to that - whilst we may not feel like we're getting anywhere, we're making progress every day, even when we don't know it.
Anyroad, here's mine. Since starting the game on 26th July 2009:
1) Mood swings - fewer and further between. The winter of 2008/9, as well as most of my first year of uni (2007/8) was a period of depression for me. Unnaturally long periods interspersed with little mania to speak of. Now, I spend more time in a normal mood, and any mood swings are not only shorter, but also more manageable. Episodes of mania are more pronounced and more frequent. This makes Blanca very happy indeed.
Furthermore, the fact that I actually went to see the doctor about my (what turned out to be) cyclothymia is evidence of my personal development - I wouldn't have done this 2 years ago.
2) Shyness - not a natural state for me. Most of my life I've been a sociable person who loves talking to people, but there were periods (between about 11 and 16, and between 18 and 20) when I was overcome with shyness. One was accounted for by being a not-especially cool 13 year old, the other, partially, with being at the wrong uni. Now, I've found my social legs again - I've rediscovered the art of easy conversation, making friends without effort and generally being the cool guy who people talk to. 3 years ago I had to have a triple measure of gin before I'd even go talk to my new neighbour on the first day at uni (something I've never told anyone before incidentally). Now I'm the guy who chats to the person serving me at Starbuck's, or strikes up a conversation with a chap ordering a drink next to me, or the collection of attractive women on the next table. Not for any real purpose except that I enjoy it.
3) Life goals - before, I wanted to be a dentist. I wanted to get out into the world as quick as possible so I could be a "proper adult" and have a great job with a nice little Bristol terrace house and a Mustang on the street outside. I was an 18-year-old kid who didn't have any concept of "living life to the full". Like everyone in that situation, I thought I'd get the awesome job, the money, the lifestyle, and "living the life", including women, would just sort of follow. Now I've got a better outlook. I could, right now, have probably got myself a job in recruitment and be doing very nicely in the Game of Life. But I'm not - I'm off to god knows where teaching English, experiencing new cultures and living the life until I get bored and want to do some other shit. Maybe I'll write music, maybe there's a book in me somewhere. Who knows? That's the best bit.
However it's not all smiles and sunshine - there are some things that still need working on. I've recently discovered that many of my limitations that are arising in social contact are through a wierd need to be polite all the time. Call me excessively English but it's a wierd thing I've always had - something that for the most part is harmless, but when combined with a stubborn habit of wanting to please people becomes a problem.
Let's hear yours!
It's just advice, fellas. Do whatever the FUCK you wanna do
Last edited by Blanca; 09-01-2011 at 10:17 PM.
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