So im into this girl, we stopped seeing each other because she got the feeling i didnt like her because i didnt ask her out offically....(18year old).. anyway tbh i do like her and wouldnt mind having her as a gf, i think it would be great, number of problems

1. she lives about 1hr away from me, she doesnt drive and so meeting up is annoying/a lot of effort

2. she is at school mon to fri and im at uni mon to fri, sat is busy enough with my mates wanted to see me and me having to get to training..sunday night i go back up to uni.. so bascially very hard to see her and maybe seeing her once a week..

3. again this comes to my laziness but relationships generally mean talking/txting everyday and as im only meeting her once a week i might have to txt even more...

tbh i havent been in a proper relationship before and i have a suspicion that i am talking myself out of a relationship because its new, its scary, its commitment and its a lot of effort...(im already creating a self fufilling prophecy that a rship will be of great annoyance to me...)

with being in my final year in uni i dont want to think i missed out on all this crazy fun and meeting girls/sleeping with girls in uni just so i could meet this one girl once a week....i mean she will stil be there wen i finish uni im sure i could make it work then...

however, im not doing that much at uni girls wise, combination of jus getting too drunk when i go out, AA, no good wings etc so all these amazing 1 night stands im looking for arent really happening... its fine for me to say to myself that im going to enjoy the last few months of uni, fuk loads of girls and enjoy myself...but what if the same shit happens, i dont pull that many and ive now lost this girl i could have had a relationship with..?

thing is though the want to make the most and really pull girls, puts a lot of pressure on me i think which is fkin up my game... ive barely been approaching lately and know im off the drink for the next 6 weeks which makes gaming even harder for me...

so i have to decide whether to jus go with this girl or continue hoping to game loads of girls in uni...


though i thought telling this girl that i want to see other people also and be casual is an idea, i think i would go crazy with jealousy if i heard she was with another guy...

awkard decision......i always seem to put myself in these ffs lol the girls i want are either friends, friends and have bfs or are live far away etc..

anyone experience similar stuff?

You're asking questions like this on a PUA forum

Look you're going to get a lot of opinions everyone one has just like an arsehole.

This is something you need to figure out in your head mate.

The best thing about becoming a PUA is the innate abilty to dispense with the whole gf concept.

Personally I would'nt have a gf given there is always something prettier or with better tits, I would'nt cheat on a girl so that condemns me to keep a flow going.

Don't get me wrong I'm just starting out and sure there are periods when I go without, but I just get up the next day and try again.

Before PUA i'd go weeks, something months without a gf.

but really this gf thing you need to work that one out yourself not leave it to bunch pussy driven PUA.

Nobody can really tell you how to make a decision like this. We could say, "Make a go of it with this girl," and then maybe it won't work out and you'll regret having wasted your time. On the other hand we could say, "Keep the snowball rolling and carry on gaming," and then maybe you will see her happy with another guy and regret not having given it a go.

Sometimes, it's impossible to know which was the right decision until after you've made it. Sometimes, both decisions could be right for different reasons. Sometimes, it's just important that you make a decision and once you've made it, stick to your guns and don't look back.

Take a few days to weigh up your feelings and if that doesn't give you an answer, toss a coin.

This is very true, but he knows not what he does. I've started to think of Knave in the same way I might think of a small child doing something silly - I dunno, running around with his underpants on his head or something. I smile, and I go 'Aw, bless', because they really don't know better.

As for your predicament Bush - You're in a tricky situation, lots and lots of things are in your way. Is it really worth abandoning the opportunity of regular Uni sex for the sake of a girl you'll see once a week?

At the end of the day mate, only you know if she's worth it or not. Shame there's no happy medium, where you can agree to see her on weekends and get your fill, and then get yourself out in the week and approach elsewhere - sober, if need be!

Of course, that carries the risk that she'll also take advantage of said freedom. But, well, that's the risk you take. If you want that freedom, you've got to be prepared to allow her to have it also. If you decide you're happy to sacrifice that freedom, then go for it.

Only you know the answer to that one mate

Blunt is the best way to be man - I'm a big fan of anyone who takes a no-nonsense approach!

I love chasing girls. I love seeing the fruit of my labour when I succeed and having sex with the girl I have been chasing. This sometimes become a full blown relationship, like I am now. Been chasing this hottie for 3 months, ended up having loads of sex and in a relationship with her. Now comes the problem, after 3 weeks, I find myself thinking I can get better, prettier, I can chase someone new. BUT Im refraining myself cos I wont cheat. These are the questions Im asking myself and I guess it is valid in your case too if you end up with this girl. What do I do? Do I hurt her cos I dont want to be with her anymore? Do I tell her before it gets deeper? Do I cheat but I dont cheat? Do I carry on with her? Time and time again I tell myself not to get involved until Im 100% sure I want to be with the same girl but time and time again, when I think I am sure, and yet I end up having these questions and uncertainty....!

Sod's law!! You decide dude!

I had an almost identical situation when I was in uni (this is like 7 years ago mind)... and I spoke about it with the only people I really trusted at the time - my parents.

My mum (yes my mum) put it in the best perspective for me.

She said: "you never know how significant someone is going to be in your life. This girl could be your soul mate, and if you lose her you'll never be as happy as you could have been with her; but at the same time, you could spend the next year with her only to break up a few weeks later and missing out on all of the opportunities that you could have had that year (yes, my mum's very open minded)."

My dad then went on to say: "Does the idea of going to visit her excite you, or does the distance make it feel like a drag? (We were London to Ipswich.) Do you feel excited when your phone beeps incase it's her? Is she the last thing you think about when you go to bed without her? If you're not completely and utterly obsessed with this girl, then she's probably not for you right now, but who knows down the line."

I don't want to sway your decision, but I ended up breaking up with her and I'll be honest, I had a fucking awesome last year. Then, when I moved into London, I met the person that had the biggest impact on my life to date (who I then fucked up with just after we got engaged, but that's a whole other story)

As they say, you never know what's around the corner, but if you're standing still, you're certainly never going to find out...

Can we get a new rule that stops retards replying to peoples questions I wonder?

Reeeeeeeealllly.... how open minded?

But seriously, this is something that is close to my heart and the 'Universe' has planted this post in front of me at exactly the right time.

I met a nice 18 year old just before Xmas... spoke to all night on the edge of the dance floor for about 6 hours... texting all over Xmas... seen her almost every night since I've been back. Having a right laugh! But something has been slightly bothering me...

How to get out and chat to girls without losing this girls friendship or hurting her feelings.

I'm loving being single. It's fucking ace. I love the freedom it gives me to chat to people and doing things without having to consider someone elses feelings. I also love being with this girl at the moment. We are having a good laugh, but I sense her more traditional perception and values on what a relationship should be. So the question I'm currently asking is how do I balance my wants and needs with hers.

Without going through all the fors and against arguments (which are subjective anyway) here's my take:

There has to be a compromise somewhere. I can't honestly expect to go around fucking other girls and for her to be happy with that (if she wants a monogamous relationship). But if I completely lock down my wants to fit in with her as I won't be happy and will end up resenting her (we've all been there I'm sure). So I will still go out and practice PU and be very open and honest about it (no point hiding the fact). I will still take numbers and meet other girls but on a strictly platonic level. That way, I will still get the main value out of practicing PU - meeting and chatting to awesome women! (Note I didn't say sleeping with - that's was always a nice little extra for me - I love sex! But I'm no rat on speed!).

I'm will always be open and honest but I refuse to give up something in my life that makes me happy on account to keep someone else happy. If she can't accept me meeting and speaking to other girls then... well... she's not someone long term I want to be around.

I'm sure there will be subtleties to the arrangement that we'll have to iron out but you can't go wrong if you are open and honest. At least you did your best.

Bushido, hope that helps. I do believe you can have both... but you have to weigh up what's important to you. Compromise but don't be afraid to hold on to your values and never let go. When it comes to PU and having a relationship... an Austin Power's quote springs to mind:

DR. EVIL: "Your freedom has cause more pain and suffering in the world than any plan I ever dreamed of. Face it, freedom failed."

AUSTIN: "That's why right now is a very groovy time, man. We still have freedom, but we also have responsibility."

Abstract? Maybe! haha!

Thanks mate helped a lot, theres pros and cons to being in a relationship or to being single. I think i will take your advice though if i do end of going out with the girl, just continue to talk to other girls but keep it platonic and just be open and honest about it.