I'm not great at guitar, but i can play.

When I want to learn a new song, and I find the tab, here's my thought processes.

1. It's too complicated, I'm not skilled enough to play it.
2. It's challenging, but I think I could play if i worked at it.
3. Not so challenging, but It's an interesting song that I really like.
4. Too simple, and boring, there are thousands of songs that are very similar.

Ok, so which am I likely to learn?

Ideally 2 but maybe 3, for different reasons:

2) Once I master it I will feel a great sense of achievement. I know from both intrinsic and extrinsic feedback that I'm progressing my skills.
3) I know It's not going to take a lot of effort, and I will still take pride in playing the song.

I think when we consider the opposite sex (both men and women) we go through a similar through a similar thought process.

Ok I could try (1) but unless I have the experience i'm not going to succeed.
If I'm lacking drive or self esteem I might choose (4) because It's easy, but I'm never going to progress to bigger and better things.


Generally no matter who they are, most people like a challenge. This is all relevant to your experience so a challenge for one person might be too difficult for another, or even too boring for another person.

So you have your challenge, and through days/weeks/months however long it takes.. you finally conquer, HOORAH. But wait, now what? You play it well for a bit longer, showcase to others maybe, now I think I'll learn a new song, a new challenge. Ok that's great, but what about the song you just learned? It's in your memory bank, you don't have to worry about it, you can just play it every now and then to remind yourself (and others) of your victory.

Now here's the trap. To keep that song where it is in your memory, you might have to every once in a while just go back to it, look over the tab, give it some practice for a day. That's fine just don't get stuck on that one song.

In this part of the analogy. You are either the guitarist, or you are the song.

If i'm the song.. ''the guitarist has put so much time and effort into me, and made it his hobby to play me. Why? because I'm challenging!'' No, not anymore. And all that guitarist is gonna do is keep you there thinking that they'll come back to playing you like they used to!

But if you are the guitarist, you're moving on to a new challenge and at the same time you're thinking.. ''I'm getting better, I can move on to more challenging songs, and still keep the ones I mastered and show them off to people, awesome!''

You know which you'd rather be right?


To summarise:

1) Don't be the song, be the musician.

But DON'T get stuck on just one song (girl). Most guys would be happy with their well earned 7/8 girlfriend and think that's acceptable. Even worse, don't start back tracking when the challenges are hard. Keep the ones you used to play at bay, leave them still wanting you to play them again.

''Most amateurs do not improve their performance, because in their minds, they have (already) reached an acceptable level''

Apply this quote to all aspects of your lives, have you already reached your acceptable level? Well do something about it, we all want greatness.

Maybe your saying to yourself i'm happy with what i've got, but in the future you're going to look back on your achievements in life and ask yourself if you did the best you possibly could.


2) Don't be boring, be a challenge, if you feel like you might be losing their interest, keep yourself interesting to stop them from getting bored and unchallenged. Otherwise you will end up like the rest of the guys that aren't getting tail.


3) Most of all, keep yourself challenged, it's the only way you're going to learn and get better, and you WILL feel better in yourself too!



If you have analogies of your own, share them here.

Much love,

Jim