Severe Social Anxiety Help
 

Hey hope everyone's growing out there, that's what I'm trying to do. Up till 25 I never had a girl. I finally got the balls to make one approach and it went terrible was completely ignored. I've been with 1 girl since then, but had to create distance since it was kind of a toxic relationship. I've had insane social anxiety all my upbringing and adult life, when dealing with strangers and even my own family. I was the kid that didn't say a word in school, suicidally depressed, blah blah, just dark stuff. Now I'm breaking out of that more as an adult but it still haunts me, girls who I meet from social circle seem to like me, but my problem is just approaching girls in general and having options. Literally every time I go out I can't bring myself to show my sexual intent towards girls on the street. Right now I'm just being easy on myself, and going out and just saying hello and waving to random people on the street, that alone puts my body in panic mode. It might sound fucking ridiculous to some of you but for me that alone is a quantum leap. I'm planning on progressing to giving people compliments as I walk by, then trying to high 5 random people, then stop people and tell them random stories, then start approaching some girls I'm attracted to and just have a boring conversation and ask for a number. What's your guys advice for someone with severe social anxiety, maybe some ways you have progressed. Have any of you had a similar severe social anxiety and what did you do to overcome it?

Welcome,

Given this' your first post, I'll respond more if you respond here.

For now, a long term fix - counselling/psychotherapy.

Z

lol what a nobhead.


Peace,

kowalski

Thanks for response

Z[/quote]

Yes you are correct sir

Personally I think the mistake people make is to try and go from zero to hundred. If you're painfully shy then don't set yourself a goal of day gaming 5 girls a day minimum; focus on the baby steps and sustainable, build from there.

Your approach of increasing interactions with people generally is a good first step. Male and female. If you get to the point where you can interact well socially with a girl, yes you'll have to cross that barrier of putting yourself on the line by showing sexual/romantic intent, but maybe see that as stage 2. Good luck bro

Check out some Jordan Peterson videos on Social Anxiety.

Hi,

I'm curious - why specifically Jordan Peterson?

Z

There are plenty of others that will give good advice, however he would be my recommended choice. You obviously have some thoughts on why I would recommend him, maybe a prejudice, feel free to share.

Agree with Jiggydog.

I would recommend you to not 'game' until you have started becoming comfortable about talking to anyone - men and women.

1. Start with people you have some level of comfort, like your friends and their friends.
2. Read some books on how to interact with people and on conversational skills. Dale Carnegie's How to win friends and influence people will be good starting point.
3. Then go beyond your friends circle and start interacting with strangers.

My two pence.

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I cant seem to gain access to camp bravo. I get turned away every time. Is there a specific skill level you need? I think i have 20 or so charisma. the wiki didnt help me out so im asking you fine gentleman. All help is appreciated

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I would reccomend the opposite! Just go out and start approaching women strangers until you feel comfortable with doing it.As you are never going to learn how to game women if you dont push yourself to approach women. That was how I learned.

What did you learn, positive-experience wise, given this excerpt above?

To quote another PUA gaming is only as hard as you make it! If you keep putting off approaching women then you will never learn! The key is to do as a lot of approaches and practice what you have learnt.

That's fine, but you're admitting you're quoting someone. What did you learn?

Ah yes, Jordan Peterson, a man who has clearly mastered his own anxiety

Hi,
I would agree with the guys above. You seem to be an introvert person like me. It is too hard to start by approaching strangers on the street. So I started by approaching strangers at work. First, I made eye contact once or twice with the girls I felt attracted to. Then the next day or two I approchex them. As introvert person, I had to think and prepare my approach. I even wrote what I would say. I had some good response from them.

Other thing that worked for me:
- The three seconds rules. When I see someone I want to approach, I try to go within five seconds (having prepared my approached the previous night, lol). If you wait too long the anxiety will grow bigger and bigger until you shit on you and your legs shakes, lol
- I imagine that it is a video game. You are controlling your avatar in a video game. This tricks my mind.
- Take rejection with laugh and smile. You will be rejected, so, take it with a laugh. When I get rejected I laugh at my awkwardness, never take it personal. Every approach makes you stronger.

I have been reading advice from introvertalpha.com, there are a lot of PUA hate and BS in it, but I took some great advice from it.

You are already doing great by being proactive and conscious about the area of your personality you need to improve. Love yourself for that dude, you're great!