I am sat here now, with a major level of calm and content with where i am. i know financially im stable, feel good about me... nice new place and generaly just moving forward. few months back was devoed over my ex for a bit and it PROPER hurt me bad.

Thing is, everytime somethin bad happens in your life... after a while, you start to distance it, and your view is not emotional but logical, then after a while the next thing happens seeming worse than the thing before.

so why do we care so much when we know it always gets better. maybe as you grow stuff affects you less because u know u got past it before and will again.

essentially tho ... these are all big things ... i have had my heart torn out of my chest as im sure you have before SO.... should we really have approach anxiety...?? no matter what any of them say or do, you wont care after 10 mins... the pain of rejection or loss is relevent to emotion. so why not go up to a girl A FIT ONE with the aim of rejection... for yourself and time how long it takes before u dont care. Maybe after this it will give u perspective of how little an opinion of one girl matters to u.

also, any of you in a bad place at the mo... dont worry about... we all been there and it DEFINATLY gets better, then you realise all of a sudden it was probly for the best.

Caring is good, feeling is good, pain is good. The anguish one feels when rejected by a girl we think we care about is the minds/bodies way of pointing out that somewhere, you have got things very wrong. It is part of the process of learning from ones mistakes and it is perhaps the most valuable tool for change we possess.

Just like other painful life lessons, (like fire burns, inhaling water ain't a great idea, lions bite etc), our minds and bodies strive to convey to us, through the media of pain and anguish, just how silly we have been, in the hope that we learn to adjust our behaviour and avoid making a similar mistake in the future. All we have to do is pay attention, think through the events which led to our unhappy state and move on, armed with the new knowledge and insight we earned the hard way, the only way TO learn.

Those individuals who 'don't care', those who have never experienced heartbreak/pain/misery are missing out, for it is the lows in life that serve to accentuate the highs, pleasure is all the more acute when it follows pain. Pain can also act as a catalyst for creative thinking, (just ask the greatest writers, poets, musicians and artists, darkness feeds inspiration), and if viewed positively can be used as a springboard towards a better appreciation of our painfully sfleeting yet wonderfully blessed time as clusters of atoms clinging to a ball of rock somewhere in the vastness of this ancient and uncaring universe.

Yeah ok mate i tell u what, next time i feel down im gonna sit in bed and revel in my misery... its called depression mate.

its better to let it go than dwell... in my opinion that is

Who said revel in misery?

As for depression, I don't know enough about it to comment, my point was, shit happens, to all of us. What you take from it gives it it's value.

An average british male will live to be around 80 years old, and this is how they'll spend that time.
28 years sleeping.
13 years as a child.
15 years in extreme old age.
18 years working.
Leaving six years worth of time, give or take, in which we must cram as much of whatever it is we love to do as is possible, believe me, I am aware of the need to let things go as quickly as possible and move onwards.

IMHO

Correct me if I am wrong trickster, but where phil quoted 'you have got things very wrong', you meant 'you' in the third person and were not directing it at phil. i.e. bad feelings/anguish letting us know we have got something wrong and need to learn from it.

Like I said, correct me if I am wrong?

Of course I wasn't refering to Phil personally, I thank you for pointing out the lack of clarity and apologise for any misunderstanding.

ok... well personally, id prefer to just let anguish pass me by than not. in life i think you should try to feel as much positivity as you can, and avoid anything else.

i never said we should avoid the things that cause the anguish, we should just avoid prolonged anguish. dwelling on bad things is never good

i would have to agree with you Phil

... hmmmm... that was too easy, what are you up to trickster??

I'm agreeing with you Phil. Can't fault your logic.