I like the notion that women ought be an addition to a great and fulfilling lifestyle which you already lead. The pursuit of a woman (or women) should not be out of neediness.

Hence, if you appraoch women but do not get the results you hope for, then no matter - you just slip back into your great life. An indifferent attitude to the outcome, most would agree, stands in you in good stead to achieve the success you want.

However, it is natural for us to want women. Really want them. And, if after a certain length of time you're not getting the women that you want, then surely it is inevitable that frustration and dissapointment will creep, and eat away at your indifferent attitude. This will cause problems.

This is my own opinion and ramblings, and the way I see things at this point in time. I am not in this state, but I feel that it could be just around the corner.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about, or agree/disagree?

Comments are much appreciated.

Cheers.

This has resonance for me. At the moment, I'm going through a dry spell, trying to get back into my game, but all the time struggling. Part of the problem is, as soon as there is an attractive girl around, I can't think of anything other than 'is she responding to me? What can I do to attract her? What can I say to her next?', and so on.

Last night this was exemplified. I was out with a few people from work (not my cup of tea for company, but there you go), and there were 3 or 4 very pretty girls there as well. All I could think about was 'are they talking to me? Are they looking at me?' and so on. I'm certain after a while they sensed it (perhaps not even after a while), and that neediness is a sure fire way to put a girl off.

But then if I go to the other end of the spectrum, where I don't show neediness, I end up not showing anything, no intent or interest, and failing to take any action whatsoever.

Its a vicious circle that I just can't find the right balance too.

I hear what you're saying man

I would say in your case it's about having confidence in yourself (or regaining it) and having the attitude that you're a top guy who's interesting and intelligent, so of course chicks would be talking to you and paying you attention. If they're not, then they're not for you. But everyone has dips in their confidence, and it's at these times things are at their toughest, or at least appear that way.

Hesitancy is a damn curse too. For example, I was in the gym earlier and there was this chick putting in a big effort on the treadmill. She looked alright. She'd over done it a bit. When she finished and walked off it I asked her if she was alright and if she was training for a marathon. She said half marathon, blah blah blah, laughed a bit, pleasant interaction, but then that was it. I ended by saying "nice seeing you". I didn't even get her name. I should have made much more of it and put forward my intention of seeing her again. Knowing my luck I probably won't see her again in the gym. Fucking lame of me. Perhaps it's rustiness, but that's not a good enough excuse. I just bottled it for some reason. Poor. Just though I'd get that off my chest also.

I just treat this as a hobby, Its something I enjoying doing. While I have a point I want to get to, I'm much more happier enjoying doing it for the love of doing it.

You shouldnt make getting a girl your number one priority because as eventually you'll get in a relationship and you wont know what to do with yourself afterwards.

The is a good quote I heard from David DeAngelo, "Think of a dog chasing its tail as if it was happiness, you'll go round in circles trying to get it. But if you walk in your direction happiness will follow you wherever you go.

I like the "women are just an addition to an already awesome life" thing.

I am going to work this angle and improve my life even more - and I've done a lot to fully enjoy my life already. This gives me more freedom to be me. If they don't like me then it is their loss. Women are fucked up. There'll always be a few to like me no matter who I am.

This itself gives methe freedom to do anythng I want and still play the game.

As forthe dog chasing his tail. If he gets a really good grip, he suddenly (and painfully) stops his fun and loses his goal. Easy women are no good. Tough women who are just pretending are just as crap.

If all women are a bit fucked uip and a bit of a challenge, but we are all good enough to get them, then we are all worthy of heaven, valhalla or even the island on LOST - or whatever your heaven really is.

I will not go to hell. I understan that women are evil, but just as evil as man and that they go to the loo just as often. furthermore I understand that this is not a reason to lock the up.

A kiddie fiddler needs locking up forever, but some bird caught doing 20 MPHon a ban due to speeding at 80MPH on the motorway is not justice. Neither is my ex-wife getting my children with no official oversight and them poisoning them against me. It has tsaken 5 years, but thy are turning. I am not happy. Get me a fat bird to shag to take my mind off it.