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-   -   Ok so you have opened!! Now what?? (https://www.puaforums.co.uk/general-chat/3543-ok-so-you-have-opened-now-what.html)

wicked1 05-08-2010 03:43 PM

Ok so you have opened!! Now what??
 
I seem to have come across a sticking point. For a long time i was using alcohol to open and chat to girls but now i have decided that im not going to drink as much anymore.

I have no problems with opening - I never have but now im gettting all nervous these days because of lack of material I suppose.

For example I open a girl with one of the fancy openers we all know. I have their attention and she is waiting for the next topic of convo to come up but nothing - I dry up and then comes the uncomfortable silence.

Help me out guys - whats the next step?

LLOYD 05-08-2010 04:23 PM

Read books... and basically it has been said somewhere that - SILENCE IS NOT YOUR ENEMY... you have to use it for ur advantage, by mastering feelings and mb even some kino/k-close in the moment when it starts :) Hope it helps...


Cheers


LL

nova 05-08-2010 05:41 PM

It's time to start facing up to the fact all the lines and pre-planned material isn't you. You need to start learning to trust yourself and that you are worthy of normal converations with girls. The problem with the 'material' is it still has you believing that you are not interesting enough for hot girls... when in fact most people are, they just need to believe it!

Have a listen to Natural Tim and The Blueprint. These helped me a lot in understanding that it isn't that complicated.

morningson 05-08-2010 06:15 PM

I agree with the comments above but you have to have something ready before you open! Especially if you are just starting. Something like:

"Hi, have you seen that 7ft woman with a mohawk in here tonight?
"No"
"Ok she must have hit her head and left"

She may laugh but either way you're in.

Then ask her for advice on something ridiculous. Like your best friend is thinking of dating a woman taller than him or a bisexual woman and is a bisexual woman twice as likely to cheat than a straight one. She will respond then you can get going. Then notice something about her and tease her a little, something like "My nan has hair like yours, it's ok though. She's quite hot"

As time goes on you will feel more comfortable and relax then it will come naturally, but never go in dry.

Lines do work if you deliver them properly. Nothing wrong with having something prepared, until you are more experienced.

Darood 05-08-2010 06:56 PM

You can never run out of anything to say, just as you can never run out of thoughts to think.

Its more that your too scared to say most of what you think because your afraid it will go down badly.

Once you stop worrying about how other people will perceive you and think more about how you can get the most fun out of what your doing the better you'll find your interactions go.

morningson 05-08-2010 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski (Post 24049)
Don't, I never do and nor do any of my friends.

The point nova is making is that lines can very often be counterproductive. And, as they are totally superfluous, are best avoided altogether.


Peace,

kowalski

Maybe so, but if you are a beginner I would advise it. There are different ways to approach it, it's a matter of finding what works for you.

nova 05-08-2010 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningson (Post 24055)
Maybe so, but if you are a beginner I would advise it.

He's not asking for beginner's advice though. He has seen the flaws of pickup material and routines and now wants to move on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningson (Post 24055)
There are different ways to approach it, it's a matter of finding what works for you.

There is no method better than trusting yourself to take the right course of action. We all have the instinct in us, we just need to let it happen.

dirtyrottenscoundrel 06-08-2010 01:05 PM

all very very helpful advice.

caveman 06-08-2010 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darood (Post 24051)
You can never run out of anything to say, just as you can never run out of thoughts to think.

Its more that your too scared to say most of what you think because your afraid it will go down badly.

Once you stop worrying about how other people will perceive you and think more about how you can get the most fun out of what your doing the better you'll find your interactions go.

I think this

niknak 06-08-2010 01:42 PM

If you feel more comfortable going down the routines route, then the answer is simple - learn more stuff. If you are saying your problem is running out of routines, then all you have to do is learn more of them and stack = problem solved. And yes....you do have to study your material over and over unless you have a fantastic memory.

Or if you want to go the natural route, do as the others suggest.


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