I have some problems with my confidence but my main two are:

1. I cant for some reason get past 3s
2. I can only approach a girl when my friends are watching but for some reason I can't approach when I'm by myself!! What is up with that!?

Bandler modelled a guy who came up with a thing called Provocative Change.

Basically the trainer gets the client to break through fear and shame by creating an experience for the client to fully express themselves (withholding the solution they already know but won’t express) by skilfully provoking them to anger using humour. It can be very fast work.

If you wanted to speed the process up on yourself, try…


1) Imagine the moments and people in your life when you feel least confident.

2) In each situation, imagine you get angry enough to lose your temper and tell/do what you REALLY think (because now don’t give a shit about approval so you put yourself at cause instead of effect).

In the majority of situations the client already knows and wants the solution but withholds it because it’s wrapped up in disproportional anger because of a past perceived threat that may or may not be real.

3) Now that you can consciously acknowledge what you really want, just do it as a matter of fact, or with humour, or with whatever emotional resource you feel is more appropriate for the situation.


I think the main point is that it’s not that you lack strength, or you wouldn’t already know what you want to do, it’s that you deny your strength through avoidance. Anger can provide the emotional charge to uncover the solutions and strength that you’ve been avoiding expressing.


This scene out of the film Network pretty much sums it up…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu-nhba0Bck


It’s time to kick ass and chew gum…and I’m all outta gum.

Hehe that video's funny

Nick

Politically prophetic for 1976 too.

Have standards man, Dont go for anything less than a 7
Maybe a 6 if your drunk and its the end of the night.

Yeah, Peter Finch got Best Actor for it, top film. That scene's been used for years in all sorts of stuff. Plenty people understandably pissed at the bankster bailout, prolly that.