I'd like to share the culmination of many weeks of background, passive thought on a particular subject in the realm of being an awesome guy. It is a virtue encouraged very much by RSD and is frequently particularly strongly advocated (by me included) on this forum.

It is the virtue of honesty. One might call it the duty of any awesome man.

By its very nature, being honest means telling the truth exclusively in any situation. This, it is quite rightly argued, is the action of a man who has no shame in who he is, what he likes and doesn't like, and what his views and values are. Any man who feels he must lie in a situation must feel some sort of shame, or at the very least, apology, for who he is and his values. There comes, however, a potential issue with this ideology, one which I have only recently worked out and come to terms with - is being honest about everything all the time an awesome thing to do?

For example (call it a little cliche but it illustrates my point nicely), my imaginary wife is heavily pregnant. She has put on a lot of weight and looks like the side of a house. Her increased oestrogen levels have given her a greasy complexion and swollen ankles. Obviously, she doesn't bother scrubbing up. Due to these problems and more, she doesn't look good. At least not in a sexual way. Now suppose you're going to visit your parents with her. Anxious to please, she asks the question:

"Darling how do I look?"

Absolute honesty would dictate this response:

"You look absolutely dreadful"

A more tactful, but dishonest response would be:

"You look lovely"

Now which of these is a more high-value, alpha thing to do? Be brutal and honest, and if she can't take it then fuck her? Or being inauthentic, telling a little white lie, and spreading the good feeling?

Another example, brought on by my adventures yesterday. I went to see my mate Dave, for his birthday barbecue. Dave is probably the most alpha guy I know. He is confident, self-assured, high value and as a result, until he settled down in a relationship, got a lot of chicks. One of his best qualities though is the way he makes everyone around him feel. You talk to Dave, you feel awesome. He's chatty, fun and socially enthusiastic.

However, something that brought the above conundrum home was when we were talking about the cricket. Dave's mate cracked a poor joke. I mean it was terrible. Barely worth a titter. The lad thought it was hilarious. Dave could have given 2 responses:

Authentic/honest - "Mate that was a shite joke, just not funny"
Inauthentic/dishonest - [Tirades of laughter]

Dave picked the second option without even thinking. In doing so, he stopped the guy feeling like a tool for cracking a shit joke, and gave value. Had he been honest, he would have been effectively negging the poor chap, mercilessly lowering his value. An awesome/alpha thing to do? I think not.

My point in all this is that the "absolute honesty" and "ruthless authenticity" that seems to be pushed quite hard on this forum, by me included, but I question whether it is the best way. Obviously, a chick asks you "why are you talking to me?" then we'd say "because you're gorgeous and I want to chat you up".
However, as socially awesome, alpha men, we are supposed to be spreading the love. Making people feel good about talking to us. Create a good energy about us and make ourselves the source of good emotion. Sometimes, this requires us to be inauthentic (see above).

The purpose of this missive then is twofold. Firstly, as a newbie misinterpretation alert. I for one (and I'm hardly a newbie) had this concept around my neck a bit until recently, and would have erred on the side of the harsh authentic comments listed above in the interest of "absolute authenticity".
Secondly, it is to spark debate. I'm still thinking hard about my newfound revelation, and some input would be excellent.

To end on a lighter note, I met a South African chap at this barbecuing event. He told me that South Africans are enthusiastic barbecuers (even more so than the Aussies) and introduced me to 1) The term "braai" (Afrikaans for barbecue) 2) The following video. As men who have barbecued, I think it'll strike a chord with some of you guys:

YouTube - South African Braai Etiquette

Enjoy!

Nice post Blanca - but for me it doesn't take too much thought....I like to think of myself as an awesome guy; I only neg when I am playing around and the comments are never meant to be taken seriously.

So seeing as we're talking in cliches....I wouldn't tell a girl she looks fat in an outfit if she asked me and she did...I would say something along the lines of 'The other one looks better on you' etc You get my vibe - I do tell fibs but it's usually to protect people from un-necessary hurt/worry. However - if something important needs to be said to someone then I am not afraid to say it.

In short: I like to try and lead a good and honest life - after all, PUA for me is all about self-improvement rather than just adding notches on the bedpost, although sometimes it does no harm and lots of good to your discretion with regards to 100% total honesty at all times in my experience.