Ok. Here are the facts. I've been seeing this girl (or working with her rather? idfk) for about about a month. yes we work at the same "place" just not at the same location. We ust bump into eachother and do stuff together sporadically. She is sexy (or cute rather. typical good girl material you want to bring to your grandma for dinner) as hell but she IS KINDA seeing someone who is a total douchebag christian. I know this guy. he is a douchebag and i know at least one of his relatives (good high value male friend of mine. he totally supports my move on her), and i know at least two of her friends (one who also supports me on this and is also HV).

AND this is the crazy part: she is 7 years older than me! 34-27 :mrgreen: that is fucking sexy!!!!!!!! im dying!

Also. She has a kid (4yo).. Please God, dont let him grow up with a christian stepfather.... pleease..... ive seen way too many kids get messed up in the head because of people like this.... i even used to be one, until i realized i was getting mindfucked deluxe. i am however still spiritual and i respect religion, even christianity, but this guy is the very negative type. i dont know if she is a christian YET but my female HV friend is on the case of trying to find out, and if so HOW christian she is..

This is the thing. We go out to places all the time during work. Coffee, walks, drives whatever. We send playful messages (some of the lame ones get ignored from time to time lol, but hey i think she likes it in some narcististic way), and i STILL feel she is playing with me. I did screw up with a few lame txt's but ive gotten smileys and laughs and i dont really care about that. Its not that important, she knows how i am in RL and i can get away with some stupid texts with clever NEGS. Im just not sure if she is flirting, playing hard to get, just playing or being polite.

I just cant tell if she is flirting with me! Its driving me nuts! :P It seems she does everything she can to do that. Should i try to go harder or softer? And when i isolate target should i try to go for it or should i kino escalate more, because i have been really neglecting that part.

Thank you... Im seeing her again tomorrow (hopefully) and i will try to isolate her again. I have a few special places i havent shown her yet, so its pretty urgent. Im also wondering if i should try to send a txt or call her to invite her.

AND please do not hesitate asking for more info or giving suggestions! It would help alot. This one is very difficult and so worth it.

So are you seeing her or just working with her?

Have you had any dates or physical (read: sexual) contact with her?

Why is this dude so bad?

seeing her as in a "real date with dinner and resturant n shit"? no. or im not actually sure. weve been many places, we even went to a resturant once for coffee. shes always agreeing to go places when she has time tho, i dont know if that counts. never outside of work tho, i think that might be some sort of taboo to her.. i dont see the big deal, but thats what i think she feels. she doesnt want to go out of her confort zone of "just being at work" even tho she has no problem going for walks, coffee, breaks, WHATEVER with me. Im gonna try and isolate her more often, i got some great beautiful zen like private places. i dont think getting her to go would be a problem.

no.

christian fanatics? do i really have to explain this? ive been in that circle, that shit is fucking evil, dogmatic and unnatural. every kid i knew as a child who grew up in a strict christian family turned out fucked up. drugs, depression, self loathing, guilt, sexual repression even child abuse.

It sounds to me like this girl is taken and just views you as a workmate who she's happy to hang out with during breaks and you want to encroach on her current relationship.

Her boyfriend doesn't actually seem to have done anything wrong seeming as you haven't been able to provide examples of any of his "douchebag" behaviour other than he's Christian.

So this is how I see the facts:
You're infatuated with a colleague
She for all intents and purposes seems to be in a reasonably happy relationship
She sees you as a workmate

What makes you say that? She mentioned her dude once the months we been hangning out and she didnt sound very enthisiastic about it. More like "Please get me away from this dude, i know you can...!) She didnt even concratulate him on facebook on his birthday. Sound like a really happy blissfull relationship (based on necessity).

He doesnt appreciate his gift and his kids are gonna get brainwashed. How is that not douchebag behaviour?

Please explain why you are saying this, because she is showing alot of IOI's for being HV and she doesn not do that to other workmates. Dont just jump to conclusions. Im not saying its not possible, but i am able to read these things pretty well. Although this one is very HV and therefore would show those exact behaviours. No/Yes/No/Yes/No/Yes etc.

You said
If a girl has/reciprocates feelings for you, you hang out more than just in lunch breaks.

You also touch in flirty, sexual ways - kind of like playground fighting with your crush at school

You still have yet to provide examples/evidence of this behaviour other than saying that he's christian or doesn't care. What is it that he does that is so bad?
I've known many Christians. Some are my best friends, some are abusive. Some are just normal people. I am calling you out on your logic because so far you have said that a girl you fancies boyfriend is Christian and that Christian = bad

You need to stop with the whole IOI, HV whatever crap. It sounds creepy and manipulative.

I'm talking to you from my own experience and reading what you're telling me. There've been girls at work I had a thing with and it was super obvious, we got drinks after work, sent messages and flirted.
I wasn't trying to get them to text me or hang out, just finding opportunities...

If you're not touching each other then it's not happening.

whats with the negativity man? help me out here...

As daleinthedark says:

1. Theres no evidence this guy is a douchebag
2. There is no real evidence nothing is happening here other than that you are good friends at work

Its simple really - just ask her out & tell her you like her. I don't recommend this as she is taken (if a girl is taken, move on) - but if your so sure she likes etc etc then she should say yes and leave her bloke for you.

But to get straight to the point, I can't really see anything more happening here other than you being just friends.

Ecit: Actually don't ask her out, she'll probably freak out. Until a time comes that she is single, just forget about her and focus on other women. This isn't really a complicated story at all.