In my life I'm feeling the most grounded and confident I've ever been however I find it so easy to feel not worthy and give my power away when it's someone I actually want versus someone I don't fancy that much it's annoying.

I started texting this cute blonde bird I pulled from my last field report and find I'm much more outcome dependant and really thinking about her opinion of me. When whatsapping other girls I'm not massively attracted to messaging is easy, conversation flows

We went out Saturday (bowling alley, we're both doing dry January or id probably suggest out on town), it went well although I could feel background bits of stifiledness but may also be due to aware that I haven't got comfort blanket of beer confidence. I was kinoing her subtly throughout, and had a few big snogs at end.

We've been messaging this week but i can feel the tone of it is changing and becoming not as charged.

If it was a less cute girl I would be so much less invested and they would most likely find it more attractive. Paradox.

Can anyone share some mindsets about this? Also, can anyone recommend good 'date' locations

I think it just comes down to experience and what you're used to bro. If you drive a BMW and go down to a ford fiesta you notice the difference. I think you probably just need to get more used to hot girls and it comes with experience. At least that's what everything I've come across so far seems to say.

Try going out for a Salsa lesson next date. Salsa is inherently a sensual dance which is touchy / feely. So a good tool to get a little closer.

As far as losing outcome independance. Meditation is pretty much the key and lots of it. So even doing a good session before your date can help. So before you date maybe get in a good workout which gets those endorphins and natural relaxation chemicals in your body kicking. Then get in a solid meditation session maybe of 30-60 minutes. A worthwhile ritual if you want to act more free without alchohol.

Do you know how hard it is to meditate for 60 minutes? I've been doing it for over a year and I'm nowhere near that & to be honest it's not needed - you'd probably end up falling asleep.

10 - 15 minutes is perfect, more than enough. It's how efficiently you do it, not how long you spend doing it.