Would you settle down? - PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum

no.fx · **Would you settle down? -** 08-03-2010, 06:36 PM

Following my previous thread "How picky are you with women?", Kowalki's comment about girls with certain characteristics being rare. It got me thinking......if you were to go onto the street and successfully pick up your perfect women......would u? Would you quite happily give up part of the lifestyle of attracting women?

I have thought about this in the past and if I could I would. For me, I am motivated by a career and being the most successful. If I could go get my perfect girl I would and quite happily give up this lifestyle. I will be leaving to go to the city (london) in a few months to be a client relationship manager for an investment bank and I realised that in order for me to become "the best" and "the most successful" I need a women behind me that can offer that support and care. "Behind a great man, is an even greater women"!

Make no mistake, I don't mean giving up going up totally, but seriously cutting back on aspects with the intention of causing attraction. I will aways wanna be that socially awesome person but for different reasons.

Is for some people the idea of being a 'pua' a phase in there life, so they can look back and say I had fun when I was X years old. Or is everyone looking for a sole mate?

Cheers

Tom

CovertOperation · 08-03-2010, 07:08 PM

Personally, I'd happily settle down if I found the perfect girl.

But... I also wonder how I'll know its her. In the past, I've got very caught up with girls, caught the oneitis bug, and then been broken to bits when we've parted. However, in almost all cases, I look back and, with a good deal of hindsight, can recognise how we may have been wrong for each other in various ways.

So, my ultimate, ultimate goal in PUA is to meet my perfect girl. The girl who is so beautiful to me that she knocks me for six, who's personality is perfectly in tune with my own (in the sense that we connect on every level), and who I will happily devote the rest of my life too.

However, I also understand that in order to truly recognise that girl, I need to have an abundance of women to compare her too in order that she can stand out. So, the day that I am with a girl, and I say 'bloody hell... I've been with hundreds of girls. But this one stands out!' - that's when I'll settle down.

Between now and then, well I think I've got some dating to do!

_charlatan_ · 08-03-2010, 07:11 PM

Would I settle down if I met my perfect girl?....well my perfect girl would be into threesomes with random hot chicks.

so yeah.

seriously, if you met your 'perfect' girl then you would be mad not to give it serious thought. No one wants to get old all alone.

Hustler25 · 08-03-2010, 07:35 PM

However, I also understand that in order to truly recognise that girl, I need to have an abundance of women to compare her too in order that she can stand out. So, the day that I am with a girl, and I say 'bloody hell... I've been with hundreds of girls. But this one stands out!' - that's when I'll settle down.

Too right!

Of course if I met a girl who I completely 'clicked' with on a number of levels then I would be foolish not pursue something more serious with her to see where it goes. However I don't have the idea of 'settling down' at the fore-front of my mind, I like to take things one day at a time. I'm 27 and still see myself as young. I still have alot of life experiences whilst not having any major commitments that I want to experience before settling down. I have plenty of time to settle down at a later age when I feel like it.

Alot of people around my age are either in relationships or panicking that they should be thinking of settling down right now. I know plenty of people who have got with the first person they met saying 'he/she is the one'. Really?? statistically that probably isn't the case when there are millions of other possible combinations out there.

For me I genuinely value the independance my single status gives me.

Summer Junky · 08-03-2010, 10:54 PM

Every one would settle down with their 'perfect' girl. When you meet someone that you just know you'd be able to be around for long periods without losing attraction for them and possibly even gaining attraction the more you get to know them (they are rare!) then anyone in their right mind would want to keep that person close to them, even if it was a casual thing you wouldn't want to risk fucking it up.

nova · 01:18 PM

Have flying solo in your mind (like Jaz says) and be comfortable with that primarily. From there, any girls you do meet, take things ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don't feel external pressure to get into a relationship for the sake of social expectations or the sake of sex.

monkeybuster · 09-03-2010, 10:29 AM

This is a subject currently very close to my heart.

Would I settle down with the perfect girl? Depends on my how settled I am within myself.

For me, 'perfect' is only reflection on my current state of mind; If I am not settled within myself (i.e. Feel like I am ready to commit to one girl, etc) then it doesn't matter how perfect the girl is, I won't be happy.

Let me give you my example. I split up from a perfect girl who loved me deeply and wanted to settle down with me. Why? Because I was not ready to make that commitment. I won't go too much into detail, but my social anxiety has haunted me for so long, I need to do something about it (as selfish as it is).

So, the question you should ask, imo is, are you ready to meet your perfect lady?

Tom · 09-03-2010, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monkeybuster

imo is, are you ready to meet your perfect lady?

I think you need to know what your perfect lady actually is first, because you can think you know what the perfect lady is but when you actually get her she's not.

Retro · 09-03-2010, 02:51 PM

I started PUA as a tool for me to find the right girl.. so yes i would give it up no problem.

I do concur with Jaz, that you must be the best you can be by yourself without the need to have someone else in your life.

no.fx · 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaz

I am disturbed by this statement.

Where did you get this idea from? There is no need to feel that you have to be in a relationship to further your career. If you have a good support network of friends and family and lovers. There is no need to think like this. In my experience and from what I have witnessed from my acquaintances. Having a relationship can hinder your work progression more than anything.

Dont be afraid to fly it solo.

If you want a relationship then do so. Good luck to you. But when people sound like they NEED to be in one due to some sort of social pressure, it upsets me. "Behind every great man, is a great woman" is just some pro-feminist statement. It's not to be taken literally.

I understand what you are saying, and don't get me wrong I have some awesome family and friends. However I am the type of guy that gets very easily distracted, for example if I like a girl, I have a tendency to consume my thoughts entirely, rather than thinking about other things such as my career. Maybe this belief will change over time but at the moment I feel like if I found that person, then it would mean that those resources could be spent on my career. From friends I have in the same career, they say that trying to date, while working 6 days a week in a stressful job, where your working 6-9pm most days is very hard. Because of this I dont want to be the guy that is 30+ and hasn't started a family.