Need help please - PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum

Tommyyy1990 · **Need help please -** 23-11-2015, 04:29 PM

Hi, usually i am okay with girls i would describe myself, but i am in a bit of a situation and could use some help.

I met a girl at a party, and we were holding hands and the like, nothing to you guys lol, but i contacted her on facebook a few days later and we spoke for a while and I asked her out, to which she said yes. She said she was nervous and turned up after having a few vodkas, So i took her to nandos and the cinema, and we ended up kissing and cuddling in the cinema and it was a decent date, being the gentleman i paid and such. Then i was talking to her being nice, as you do, and had arranged a date for in 2 weeks, so planned to send her some flowers in the week and asked what ones she liked, since it was two weeks until our next date and i wanted to be a good guy. Then i told her i liked her as part of the cinversation and she said i like you you're a nice person, so i though uh-oh, thats a red flag, and she said but shes not interested, with her assignments and her daughter she is too busy to date or have anything serious. So then i said alright sorry for misreading her intentions and she said its ok theres nothing wrong with being friends.

Maybe the wrong forum but i want some advice for getting her back and sealing the deal?

Any help would be appreciated,

Thanks in advance

Tommyyy1990 · 23-11-2015, 04:41 PM

Oh okay, just like this girl a lot thought I could maybe pull it back.

Thanks

Tommyyy1990 · 23-11-2015, 05:21 PM

Okay, thanks Kowalski, thats true it is a lot of hassle. I will have a read through this forum and try some stuff out, seems like a lots of advice on here.

Thanks

boybryant · 23-12-2015, 01:13 PM

I'm fairly new, but have been devouring loads of information on pick up and going out and applying it. What I can instantly tell is that your desire to be a "good" guy is probably what's fucking things up for you.

I'm not saying be a dick, but you could be more disagreeable with girls not buy her flowers so soon and all this stuff. It sounds like you're over investing and being needy.

So for the time being I think you should stop focussing on this one girl and try to improve your skills with girls in general. Check this out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leM-HWLgc5Q

J.Daniels · 23-12-2015, 03:50 PM

What you're feeling is oneitis. Get more girls.

The flowers will just come across as a desparate bribe for sex/affection. Why did you arrange the date for a whole 2 weeks into the future? Weird.

Kowalski is right, move on. I'm going to copy and paste a thread that I made entitled "To the guys who want their ex back!" because I think a lot of what I wrote will apply to this situation and explain the reasons for moving on. Here:

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.Daniels

Are you trying to get your ex back?
Are you sick of people telling you to move on, because they just don't understand how special your ex was!? You simply can't even imagine being with another girl? It's painful to even refer to this girl as your EX?

Guess what, you're exactly the same as about 60% of guys that join this forum. Your ex isn't anything special (compared to other women) believe me. You know deep down that your ex wasn't as amazing as you're making her out to be. But as humans, we're naturally attracted to that which retreats from us.

Do you know how to make something more valuable? Make it scarce.
The reason I've made that bold is because I want to make 2 points on it:

1.) Your ex only seems so much more special than she did, because you're getting so much less of her attention and affection. Can you not understand how quickly the novelty will wear off and your attraction to her will dissipate when you get her back?

2.) Knowing what you know above, why are you still too scared to make yourself scarce? Why are you still reassuring your ex that you'll always love her, and you're the one for her? That's just communicating that she can come back to you at any time, if her other options don't work out - you're being her safety net! It's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear! so for the final time, make yourself scarce!

Stop being so selfish, and date other women. Unfollow your ex (and hide her posts) on all social media websites. Delete your ex's number. Either she'll get in touch and you can arrange a date (in the evening, not a coffee date, not with your ex) or somebody better will come along and you won't care.

Do you REALLY think we don't understand your situation? Every single guy trying to get his ex back has said the same as you. I've been in your position about 5 times now, each girl was "different" and "this PUA stuff wouldn't work on a girl like her" lol. I finally decided to man up, and it changed my life. We don't tell you to forget her and move on just because we can't be bothered to help you. We tell you because it's the quickest way to get over her, but it just so happens that it's the most likely way to get her back.

In the meantime you should be focusing on improving every area of your life! Here are some tips on how to stop being such a pussy, and be the guy you deserve to be:

Build some muscle - working out makes you happier, scientifically proven and shit.

Take up a new hobby/get back to an old one - maybe you always wanted to learn how to play the drums? Maybe you even did, but you just haven't had the time for a while... get back to it! Why not do something you love?

Give yourself a makeover - I mean go all out. Whiten your teeth, buy a new wardrobe full of clothes, fix your hairstyle. Watch how much your confidence rockets.

Go for a promotion - this one isn't always possible, but why not? It's always possible to work hard, even if a promotion isn't on the cards. It'll keep you distracted during the boring part of your days.

Go out and meet new women!!!! - No excuses, stop being a pussy. I don't want to hear any crap about how you're "not ready". You're a grown man so act like one. Bang 5 girls and tell me your ex still seems as special, I dare you!

TL;DR: Stop being a pussy. The strongest negotiating position is to be able to walk away and mean it, so move the f*ck on and be the guy that you deserve to be, for other women.

*Waits for disagreement from Kowalski*

drop collision · 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski

Move on.

This is the best advice. But, I do believe that where there is a will, there is a way.

When I started working as an electrician in north London. I worked with a guy from New Zealand. Who would always say to the customers "Anything is possible, if you have the money."

Your situation reminds me of a you tube video

"I'm confused about links, so I edited out the original link" The video is not important.

I think you should call her back in a months time. And while you wait, go out and date other woman. At the very least talk to and meet new woman.

When you do call her back, talk to her about all the new women you have met.

this is not some PUA or NLP jealousy plot line trick. In my experience, She will respond badly listening to you having loads of fun with other woman. I think you should do that to stop yourself from becoming a stalker.

You should keep using this bad advice, every month, until she agrees to go out with you again.

I would just move on. But who am I to stand in the way of true love.

Also it does sound like you managed to proclaim your undying love for her before having sex with her.

which reminds me of the ending to the TV series "Homeland". Where at the end of season 5 episode 12. "A False Glimmer". Otto Düring asks Carrie Mathieson to be his girlfriend. That is creepy. That is why guys get put in the friend zone. If you can't turn her on than why would she want to date you?

The best and classic advice for turning a girl on is to give her a massage.

Sugarspin · 29-12-2015, 11:51 AM

chat to loads more women
lost the 'nothing to you guys' - you gotta start somewhere
lose the -'must pay for everything' do or don't only if you want to
lost the beggar mindset - 'apologising for misreading intentions'
you have value, get that into your head and start chatting to loads more girls
good luck

serdude · 05-01-2016, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tommyyy1990

Hi, usually i am okay with girls i would describe myself, but i am in a bit of a situation and could use some help.

I met a girl at a party, and we were holding hands and the like, nothing to you guys lol, but i contacted her on facebook a few days later and we spoke for a while and I asked her out, to which she said yes. She said she was nervous and turned up after having a few vodkas, So i took her to nandos and the cinema, and we ended up kissing and cuddling in the cinema and it was a decent date, being the gentleman i paid and such. Then i was talking to her being nice, as you do, and had arranged a date for in 2 weeks, so planned to send her some flowers in the week and asked what ones she liked, since it was two weeks until our next date and i wanted to be a good guy. Then i told her i liked her as part of the cinversation and she said i like you you're a nice person, so i though uh-oh, thats a red flag, and she said but shes not interested, with her assignments and her daughter she is too busy to date or have anything serious. So then i said alright sorry for misreading her intentions and she said its ok theres nothing wrong with being friends.

Maybe the wrong forum but i want some advice for getting her back and sealing the deal?

Any help would be appreciated,

Thanks in advance

next time dont try to get the girl feeling like she is in relationship with you after just one date, try to be more relaxed

as an experiment you can read all the communication messages between the two of you before the first date and after maybe you'll learn something just from that...in the end no one can control other human beings, who knows what she has in her head