I want to talk a little about boundaries, and the power you have in taking control and setting them.

Now just to clarify, I'm not referring to boundaries of unacceptable behaviour. That is something completely different. Saying to a girl 'these are the limits of my tolerance, you are not going to overstep them' is another form of boundary which is important nonetheless.

What I am referring too is a different type of boundary - an implicitly set arrangement of boundaries which exist in any social relationship. The point of my post is that you are in control of these boundaries. And being able to effectively control them is a powerful tool to have in your pick-up pocket.

From the second you approach and open a girl, she is going to be scanning your actions, and to a lesser extent your words to establish what the boundaries of your relationship are going to be. Once she is clear of these boundaries, she is going to alter her actions accordingly.

The concept of 'leading' is an important principle which, if applied correctly, will help you in your interactions with a girl. This concept states that you will take control, you will establish what is and isn't acceptable, you will be decisive and dominant. When you are doing all of this, you are also setting boundaries.

And broadly, once you've set those boundaries, the girl sharing your interaction will most often respond in kind.

If, early on in an interaction, you begin to use lashings of kino, touching her arm, playfully hugging her, you'll find much of the time she'll reciprocate. She'll begin to use kino of her own. Why? Because you're setting boundaries. You're saying to her, 'We're fine to touch each other. There's nothing wrong with hugging each other. We're cool with that.'

At the same time, if you set your bondaries timidly, she'll respond to this as well. If you keep your distance, don't go kino, be nice and polite, then you're saying 'I need to become more comfortable with you before I am able to touch you.' And she'll reciprocate. With you making it clear you're not yet comfortable enough to touch you, she'll respect this boundary, and won't cross it herself.

The same goes for conversation, and partly underpins (although not wholly) the concept of a statement of intent. When you say to a girl, 'I love your hair, its sexy', you're setting a boundary. You're saying 'Its ok for me to tell you you're sexy. Its ok to talk about those things.'

When your conversation is limited to 'Where are you from? What do you do?', you're setting another narrow boundary, and she'll follow your lead.

The important thing I'm trying to get across though is that you are 100% in control of where these boundaries go. You are able to lead and place these boundaries precisely where you want them to go. This will help engineer a huge chunk of the vibe that dictates the basis upon which your relationship with this girl is going to be held.

I've been on a number of Day 2s lately. The ones where I followed these rules - the ones where I went kino and established good boundaries were thoroughly enjoyable dates. The one where I backed off, held back, and set narrow boundaries was the one I didn't enjoy.

And kiss the girl! On a date, kiss her! That's a huge boundary, and you are in a position to set it whenever you like. As soon as you kiss a girl - even if its just a quick peck (you don't have to eat her face) - you're setting that boundary even further. You're saying to her, 'We're here to kiss each other'. And she'll be fine with that - you're the man, she's looking for you to set the boundaries. So bloody do it!

Set your boundaries far and wide, and she'll follow. Lead. Command. Go Kino early, and go kino lots. State your intent. Tell her the boundaries you're working in, tell her the space she's got to work in. Pick up is a two way process - at least it should be. So let her know what she's dealing with.