Okay. Let me start this by saying I played a LONG game with this girl. She had a guy, I wanted to sleep with her, we got talking, and we got on fine, as friends. I'd neg the hell out of her, make sure she knew about other girls I'd been with, and when I had a girlfriend, just in case, I made sure this girl knew how well I treated her. Then, when she eventually ended the relationship with her boyfriend, she told me she liked me. Winner.

So I carried on the games, but stepped it up. Shitloads more negging, shitloads more talking about girls, bringing up how much my ex wanted me back, and we started hanging out more. I decided one night that I didn't really like her properly, but that I really wanted to sleep with her, and in order to do that without feeling like a cunt (she had just left an abusive relationship), I'd have to convince myself I liked her.

So we hung out together, there was talk of how things would be if we got together, I used techniques to amp up the attraction when we were out with our friends, and she came to my house a couple times to help me paint the hall. I managed to convince myself I really liked her, and wanted a relationship. Then last week, she came round to watch a film, and we kissed for the first time. We had sex about half an hour later, then we had sex again.

Then, I turned into an absolute pussy. I don't know what happened, but I totally lost sight of everything, and I started getting all kissy and pillow-talky and shit, and I think I totally overwhelmed her with how loved up I was feeling. That night, she told me that she cried when she got home, that she still isn't over her ex, and that she wants to take things really slow with me. We used to talk so much, now she's barely replying to my texts.

I think, in the past week, I have totally shattered the image she had of me, that I spent so long trying to build. And it fucking hurts, because now I actually like her, and I'm getting the vibe that she doesn't like me much anymore.

So guys, how do I get the ball back in my court? Here's what I'm thinking so far:

- Telling her I'm getting back together with my ex
- Telling her I'm going to see my ex
- Ignoring her and letting her know (via facebook and a good female friend) that I'm in demand from other girls

Any other ideas?

Move on dude!! This whole senario is pretty lame. You had to convince yourself you wanted to sleep with her in the first place. Why do that?! As a hot blooded male are there not another 1000 girls you've seen this year that you GENUINELY want to sleep with?? Go out and get some of them... or else you'll just wallow in oneitis.

Dude dude..... What can I say.

You've spun a real web here, and take it from me - that's bad.

Be true to yourself and stop being such a cunt, you'll only put yourself in a bad place.

Take time out, and chill. Leave her alone for a couple of days, mayne suggest going out or something but stop the games.

Mate, leave the games in the school playground. Sounds like manipulation on your part to intice the girl into bed with you, she's possibly woken up to this now and seen through your smoke-screen and possibly now shes feeling used or decieved. To suggest winning her back by bragging to her about other women (whether real or imagined) will not shower you in glory, on the contrary, any self-respecting women would not want to be associated with this sort of guy.

If you had demonstrated your authentic self throughout this whole charade you perhaps would not have got yourself entangled in this mess. Perhaps if you'd have been authentic from the begining then she may not have found the real authentic you attractive, so what at least you have your self-respect and integrity intact. That's better than having a girl attracted to a 'performance artist' who isn't you at all.

My advice would be, move on, don't play any more games with her or other people for that matter. I doubt you appreciate people playing games with you.

If you've simply fallen for this girl and you want her then be yourself and let fate decide it.. Sounds lame but I'm in a similar situation, i didn't want her, saw her as a casual thing then we hooked up but I got scared and backed off, she reacted and did something stupid and then I realised what I was loosing but I went about it in the wrong way and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts in fact it kills but I have to keep telling myself there are others, in terms of finding "the one" or someone who is just right for you, there are loads and loads of suitors. Did you know that because of the amount of people in the world the chances of finding the right person are so high that you're more likely to win the lottery 5 weeks in a row (summat like that anyway).

And the rest!! There are girls everywhere we walk, every day... if only guys made the effort. Instead they go on dating sites and waste away in front of monitors emailing.

What were the techniques you used to amp up her attraction?

So you didn't really like except for sex so you pretended to then you had sex with her and ended up liking her.

Trying to make her jealous is not the way of getting her back or the foundation for a relationship and not something you would want to do to someone you have feelings for.

I think you need to decide if you really honestly do like her and want a relationship. If you do you have some work to do because you were playing games with her and not being your genuine self, if you want a relationship then you have to drop this unless you want to pretend to be someone else.

Being genuine doesn't mean you have to turn into a wuss who gets walked all over and soppy, it means you have to stand firm to your values and take right action. Don't agree with her if you think it'll please her, state your true feelings and don't apologise for who you are.

Also how do you know she doesn't like you much anymore? Have you got a definitive response from her? She could be thinking a lot of things especially since she's just out of a relationship.

I think you need to talk to her and be straight and honest with her and yourself, you might not get her back but if you at least care for this girl then you owe it to her to set things straight. She might not like it but at least you can walk away from this knowing you did the right thing in the end.

If you just want sex from her tell her! You'd be surprised what being honest gets you, I told a guy I work with to be straight and tell this girl he was only interested in sex from and she was fine and texts him all the time asking him if he wants to come over.

A rich man doesn't need to tell people how rich he is.

You've blown it. By a long margin. Follow Nova's advice and move on. There are plenty more girls out there, most of them better than this one. You'll need to change your inner game almost completely in order to turn picking up women into a socially rewarding experience (the game of relentless negging and deliberately trying to raise your own value is fucking lame) but you can get there.