Like with most things It begins with falling for a girl. I remember it like it was yesterday, the adrenaline pumping the butterflies in your belly and the excitement of meeting someone you really liked. I was 19 and this was my first crush and I had no idea what to do. I felt like something was holding me back and I had no idea what it was like an invisible wall.

I had very little experience with girls and was a big AFC it wasn’t that I was that un attractive but I had been raised in an all male house with a father who believed in 1950s values. So getting close, kissing and dancing were things I really didn’t know much about.

So when I got home that night I made a pledge to myself that I would become not only better with girls but also a better person. I started going out on Fridays and Saturdays to nightclubs, which I hadn’t been doing got new clothes, gym, started volunteering to meet new people but I still wasn’t that good with women.

Eventually the idea of becoming a new person meant I wanted to leave home, so I went to university and here is where I heard about PUA, I quickly went on a boot camp and it was brilliant, day game was brilliant so was night game, got a few numbers and I kept this up for about two months I would approach anyone even the hottest girls in the club if I got rejected I didn’t care, and I didn’t get rejected that often. In the two months after I went on 8 dates with different girls each time.

Basically even though I had ok game there is that time when meeting someone where you either go for it or you don’t and I never went for it I had achieved loads but one of the simplest things had stopped me dozens of times.

Its nearly a year on from meeting that girl that gave me butterflies for the first time and I still suffer from the same brick wall that stops me going forward. So im asking you guys for ideas. I really went for it this year and I feel its been wasted I hate to think the same thing this time next year.

One word - Escalate.

You need to break down more boundaries. Take more risks. It's the only answer.

Out of interest J.C, what walls are you coming up against? Is it number closing, kiss closing, etc.?

im fairly good at number closing, kiss closing it gets harder but its more like,you know when you should go for it ,but your mind goes blank. Its not that im overly nervous about it

A year is a short time in this learning process JC. You have come a long way from being too scared to act, to taking action. Your impatience is a good thing, you want more. Use it to your advantage and push yourself to break down those walls.

'I had very little experience with girls and was a big AFC it wasn’t that I was that un attractive but I had been raised in an all male house with a father who believed in 1950s values. So getting close, kissing and dancing were things I really didn’t know much about.'

I can relate to this after growing up in an all male household myself, with a father of similar traditionalist values. Not much fun I can I tell you. Similiarly to you, going to university was a profound eye-opening experience for me.

I wouldn't say the last year has been wasted dude, on the contrary you have had successes and have made progress. This is only a current sticking point, with time and experience you'll break through that 'wall'. We all break through those walls at our own pace so don't feel you need to rush things or expect instant success.

Novas right, sounds like you need to physically escalate things on your dates or at least state your intent. I've been having similar problems recently but after taking things one step at a time ive been managing to get successes.

Hustler what did you end up doing? im in kind off a rutt at the moment. You guys are right i do need to escalate more, But i guess im waiting for something profound to happen where it all makes sence

It's difficult for me to explain but what has happened a few times recently is it's been almost like a switch has gone off in my head removing all negative thoughts and doubt and without thinking ive taken girls by the hand or just pulled them into towards and me and planted a kiss on their lips and from there we make-out. It's something ive struggled with for a long time but now (and you will to eventually) I can tell when a girl is ready to be kissed.

I think the key is to do it, quickly and smoothly without giving you time to think, or giving her time to think. It's a 'sweeping me off my feet' moment for the girl. Which they love.

Note: I've yet to do this stone cold sober.

JC, it takes time. But one thing I've found, if you've got the drive and motivation to push this forward and work at it then things will come to you slowly. Don't give in. None of it is gonna fall on your lap. You'll have to work for it. But you know what, it's more damn satisfying than any other lay or pull you'll have ever had.

Work on pushing beyond your comfort levels. It's scary (of course), but you'll feel better for it. Have a read of some of the field reports and tips people have shared on here. Also take a look at Tyler Durden's Blueprint. This changed my perspective on social dynamics forever.

i know it takes a while..guess patients isnt a vertue of mine. i have read a few of the field reports and its brilliant to see how some people have changed. i havent looked much of tylers stuff. mostly stuff from kezia and gambler but i will have a look at tylers stuff