was out at a local bar weekend, i was at the bar waiting to get served, this girl comes over, she said some lads were creeping her out, and asks me to look over to see if they were still looking, at which they were, so i pulled her up next to me at the bar out of these lads line of sight, and from then on she was by my side all night, buying me drinks, asking for my number, social media etc, shes done most the work thus far, which im not really used to, now im asking for help on how start and maintain conversation with her, im new to all this and clueless, atm im thinking this is a one off and she was drunk, so i guess im asking for help how to get out of that frame of mind aswell, Thanks

the guy whos clueless!

She Wernt assed about the lads, she just used a a canned opener from an FPUA book. U should check it out so u know when a girl is gaming u.

You've already chatted to her all night though, so what exactly are you asking?

Is it that you don't feel comfortable with her taking the lead and you want to feel that you are leading the conversation?

It's not a crime, stop beating yourself up!

Well that's just a confidence thing, it will take time and is largely up to you. Realise that every time you beat yourself up or write something positive off, you are holding your confidence back.

[quote=PostScript;94579]You've already chatted to her all night though, so what exactly are you asking?

Is it that you don't feel comfortable with her taking the lead and you want to feel that you are leading the conversation?



It's not a crime, stop beating yourself up!



Well that's just a confidence thing, it will take time and is largely up to you. Realise that every time you beat yourself up or write something positive off, you are holding your confidence back.[/QUOTE

Id like to be in the position where, when i text she replies straight away, interesting convos and that shell text me, shell initiate conversation, atm convos gone dead, which leads me to also asking how to re initiate it? thanks

You can't control other people and trying to will stress you out. Ironically, giving up control is the only way to gain some measure of control.

This one you can work on, it's a skill imho. Practice with everyone. Find material on how to do it but don't stick doggedly to it you don't want to sound like a robot.

Sometimes she will, sometimes she won't. Let go of the need for her to do everything.

Incidentally, you want her to do everything so that you dont have to feel insecure, ever. That's a mistake. Instead, accept feeling insecure and lead anyway. That's how you slowly rewire the insecurities and the need to know what or how to say will melt away with them.

Lead. Enjoy yourself. Work on yourself. Be funny. Be cheeky. Talk to her like a mate you've known for years.

It's not just about what to say, it's about your whole life. See?