ok so havent had sex aged 20, not a case of being unable to attract girls but being so dam fussy and being too proud to go with a girl who is 'below' my standards. weni say standards i mean hb8+ with great personality, which is very hard to get as i am well versed in game but havent practiced enough.
the girls ive attracted i havent been able to feel a 'spark', i dont want to have sex just because im really horny and drunk one night, but i want to have sex with a girl i feel attraction for and think she cud be a potential gf. someone i wont have regrets for basically. the fact that i have turned down sex and 'waited' means it wud have been such a waste to now just have sex with some girl i dont really like, so i have to be attracted to her. the thing is i go out, look for girls but the girls i do attract that are hot, they just look at me and feel lots of 'lust' for me, i was actually told this by one. so i feel that she sees me as a player if i take her back to mine, she only wants a 1 night stand. some guys are prob like wtf dude u shud do it, but i dont have a desperation to lose my virginity, this fact plays in the back of my head wen i am gettin girls, like they want to fuk me but i think htey only want me for 1 crazy night, i want to know them make sure they are cool so i wont regret it and i know they are not slutty.

so i thought i will get a girl back to mine and if we are escalatin towards sex say, ' im not like most guys, i like to get to know the girl first', now if she responds negatively then i know she is a slut if she responds postively then i know she is 'worthy' lol, but will the girl who reacts negatively get pissed off assume im a virgin, tell her friends and dent my rep at my uni? my rep is pretty good, and goin around chattin up girls gives me the player look, so wen girls assume i am a guy just lookin for a 1 night stand, its a difficult situation.

and also i have a theory that i am making exuses such as being fussy/protectin virginity/ puttin off having sex because i am nervous about doin it subconsciously? it all sounds very feminine to me tho..

just needed to write this down really try and explain it to myself, but if u guys have any thoughts it wud be great.

theres no such thing as instant love my friend it all escalates from lust as you learn more and more about each other the lust grows and be called love, if you think there is a girl you may like to see how far the lust can escalate tell the girl with pride that you are a virgin and waiting for the right moment and if she cool spend some time having fun with her and it will happen.

I can kind of understand where you are coming from as I used to have this sort of attitude when I was younger in that I was very fussy and choosy. This does not work well in your favor. Fuck your current reputation at uni as this idea of you being a 'player' is a false reputation. I think people will respect you a whole lot more if you are just being upfront and honest rather than feeling you need to live up to other peoples standards/impressions of you.

You're acting like a female when it comes to sex because you are being overly sentimental about your first time being seen as 'special'. Like K says you will have to get through a fair few girls before you find that 'special' one.

My advice to you mate would be to start having sex with the girls that you are attracting when you meet your dream girl and if you are still a virgin you may not be able to meet her needs. Most people do not start having sex with an incredibly hot woman so i wouldnt worry about that too much.

Good Luck

I'm sure this came up in another thread a few months back, the first time won't be the best it might be alright or it might be awful.

You could wait for someone you get on with because then you'll be more relaxed with them. However the opposite could happen because you have built it up so much that you are nervous because this girl actually means something to you.

The other way is to just fuck some random who you'll never see again so even if it does go tits up you'll never see them again.

another aspect of this is:

Say you find the girl that is gf material and want to sleep with her because the attraction is there, she might be put off by the fact that the sex what shit! I dont cared who you are, most peoples first time is wank, mine was for sure, I didnt know anything and was more of a fumble than sex, despite all the porn I had watched. So my advice would be, get a few girls under your belt before searching hard for a gf. I am at uni and all my girl mate rate the first time they have sex with a guy very important on whether or not the relationship will go any further, being a "virgin" is a lame excuse for the girl to explain why the sex was wank, especially to her mates.

Tbh its completely normal to be scared about this shit, I remember shivering with my first time, i was that nervous. I still get some apprehension with the kissing and sex shit now, it may be a bit like AA, it doesnt go away but you can just combat and overpower it.

Also your prob best getting a girl that is not too good looking as being at uni myself, the girls fortunate in the looks department are normally quite popular and therefore more likely to tell there hot mates about it, denting you rep.

Thats my 2 cents anyway!

Hey bushido,

Since you haven´t had sex yet, I saw a youtube video investigation that I thought you might find interesting.

YouTube - Sex and Celibacy: Why Wait?

I´m watching it right now. It is pretty interesting, even for us who have had a lot of sex. Perhaps it will help your organize your thoughts regarding sex abit better.

Haha! I had to re-read that because I thought you were saying the first time someone has sex is when they have a wank by themselves (which I guess in a way is true). I thought "what's he on about? Of course the first sexual experience is wanking". I think i've got wank on the brain from this 30 days of no wank thread

yea guys thanks for the input i think its just my being in denial or somethin, my two best m8s are sayin the same, one of my friends in particular is a perfect example of how he started off with a shit girl hb5 and through having sex consistently got better, i started showin him pua and he has now found himself an arguable hb 10 ffs lol, i just find it very hard to have sex with a girl i am not attracted it doesnt produce a good feelin for me, its just that i waited so long its hard to say, u know wat, i shud just do it. i think one of the main reasons for this anxiety or watever u might want to call it came wen i jus turned 19.

i was in magaluf, i was with my ex gfs best friend who i'll call stacey who i happened to run into, it ended up she wanted to fuk me in an alley in magaluf, now i was pretty dam drunk but i was still able to recognise that hey im losin my virginity to a girl who was lookin unprotected sex in an alley with a good few ppl walkin past with her best friends ex, classy. i said aint gona happen and left it. now about 5 months later i was in a house party at my uni about 90 miles from were i live, i got talkin to a guy and he asked wat town i was from, he asked did i know stacey.. he had fuked her and so did another guy at the house party imagine me tellin them i did to, but i lost my virginity to her.. it was such a relief to say i didnt do it, so i learnt to trust my instincts. another reason was that my best m8 who was with that hb5 was soo close to gettin her pregnant, i think i have anxiety about being with a girl i dont like incase that shit happens..

anyway i think this is were this all stemmed from, but now i believe that i will have to just do it with the first descent lookin girl who is interested in me. i need to get these skills and practice together if im ever goin to get the girl i really want, i have missed some unbelievably hot girls because theycud sense my sexual inexperience and i dont want tat shit to happen again.

my first time, i got fucking amazing carpet burns on my knees, i cum way to early my dick started going soft then the rubber came off and ended up somewhere inside her, i was to ashamed to talk to her again but i ofen wondered how long it stayed up there before she found it.