Hi guys,

This week I have been on an intense management assessment centre as part of my job. Basically I have had to do various group and solo exercises whilst being continuously observed by a panel...

The reason I'm telling you all is I need some advice. The feedback I have had is that I come across as confident and relaxed person who people look at for leadership - all good. The negative is that I can also come across as low energy and a bit too softly spoken... apparently my voice tone doesn't change much and I sit very still and can be a bit unexpressive

Now the feedback is pretty accurate, I accept it, but how the hell can I change it? Not for work of course, but for myself and for meeting ladies.

So basically if any of you have worked at a similar issue or got any advice/execises I can do to come across with more energy I'd really appreciate you sharing the wealth!! I'm listening to the blueprint at the moment which has some good stuff but I need more practical tips - like how can I vary my voice and use my hands more without looking and feeling like Graham Norton!

Cheers

Body language, hand guestures, pausing when talking, eye contact...

Come to improv if you can, lots of this built in to the fun!!

This is a tricky one for me to explain - I've always been a bit loud and gobby (I'm my mother's son!) so I've always projected my voice well.

I guess a good bit of advice would be to think of a subject you're passionate about, and can rant about at length. It could be anything - football, fashion, people who piss you off, whatever. Think about the way you talk when you get passionate about this particular subject - it's almost as if other people aren't there, that you're ranting to yourself. You'll find that your voice naturally becomes louder and your body language more confident.

Now take how you feel in that situation and try to apply it to everyday conversation. It'll take time, and you'll almost certainly need to make a conscious effort to do it, but after a while you'll start to project your voice more easily.

Don't aim your voice to the person you're talking to aim a few feet behind the person.
Check out flawless natural for a better description

I love the word 'Beer can' no matter how you try to say it, it sounds very similar to how a Jamaican would say 'Bacon'.

from the book 'master of body language'

there are many parts of your body that add to the nonverbal
message. This type of nonverbal communication is called kinesic code. It is made up
of emblems, illustrators, regulators, affect displays and adapters. These behaviors
are each communicated in different behaviors and movements of your body.
The first important aspect of kinesics is posture. Standing or sitting in a relaxed
professional manner is a positive posture nonverbal. Also, being comfortably
upright, squarely facing an audience, and evenly distributing your weight are all
aspects of posture that communicate professionalism, confidence, attention to detail
and organization.
Nonverbals communicated by moving the trunk of your body are called body
gestures. Several different body gesture strategies are to move to change mood or
pace, draw attention, or reinforce and idea. Some examples are stepping aside for a
transition or stepping forward to emphasize a point.
Hand gestures are what are most often ide ntified as nonverbal communication. One
reason is because they are so obvious to a receiver and seen to be partly conscious. It
is important to let your gestures flow naturally as if in conversation with a close
friend. You may also use gestures to specifically describe shape and size, emphasize
a point, enumerate a list, or picking out a specific item.
In conjunction with hand gestures is touching. This is a very powerful
communicator especially for establishing a link to a receiver or conveying emotion.
However, touching is dangerous because it invades a persons intimate space and
may be perceived as unwanted or breaking norms. It is important to pay attention
to the other person’s nonverbal cues before deciding to initiate a touch.
The last area of physical nonverbal communication is facial expression. Facial
expression is partly innate and also partly learned. Because of the number of
muscles and features, such as mouth, nose, lips, cheeks, in your face, it is extremely
expressive. A face can ask questions, show doubt, surprise, sadness, happiness and a
wealth of other messages.
Below is a list of some body behavior and the message they communicate.
1) Slumped posture = low spirits
2) Erect posture = high spirits, energy and confidence
3) Lean forward = open and interested
4) Lean away = defensive or disinterested
5) Crossed arms = defensive
6) Uncrossed arms = willingness to listen

Thanks for all the tips guys, some good stuff...

I'm out tonight so will be attempting to be more animated and throw my voice a bit better. Hopefully without looking a raving queen!


Cheers