1 outcome desired; success
 

For anyone who doesn't know anything about me, see my introductory post here - http://www.puaforums.co.uk/introduct...html#post74028

Just to add, when I said I have had girlfriends I literally mean 2 and not for more than a year. My last relationship ended quite sourly and I got so pissed off by it that I left the country for 4 months to the summer climate of Spain.. my mates thought I was dead or something... I don't get rejected often because I don't put myself in that situation a lot, I guess I'm like your average chodey guy. I consider myself to be good looking and I honestly think I have a big head but whatever. I'm skinny but toned ish and yeah... I'm going back to an introduction here so I'm gonna stop.

So, I loved Tyler's Blueprint Decoded and I'm currently in the middle of acquiring Flawless Natural. I just want to get a whole host of information and just reading this, the successes will motivate me to get up off my arse and get out there approaching women, overcoming my slight AA.

Now, I want my PU experiences to benefit my whole life, not just whilst I'm on a night out so therefore I want to improve both day game and night game.

Coming from experiences with mates, I'm more inclined to talk to new people with friends that are already doing so. Going alone I would probably approach but be damn near death with the force that my heart would be beating at! I think after the opener I'm actually fine talking to people, I talk to new people everyday just not for long and haven't attempted to get phone numbers. I think after 1 success (even if she doesn't reply) would affirm a positive reality in my mindset and I'd be approaching regularly.
So guys, I could do with help and advice on -

a) opening (direct/in-direct, situational, etc..)
b) confidence (i.e. eye contact, body language)

If anyone knows of any courses or anything like that then please PM me. I'd be up for travelling to other cities and going out in other cities aswell.

Barney is a great name

I don't know, I always thought it was kind of shortcoming...

It's not my real name, I just like the character's personality

Yeah he's pretty awesome, though the actor 'Neil Patrick Harris' is actually gay, funny to see him playing such a misogynistic character...

Yeah he's a dark horse with an eye for a hottie

I chose the name because thats the personality and charisma I aspire to have through PU, minus the gay part of course

you have to earn the name Barney.

are you sure you've listened to the blueprint?

In my experience, as far as confidence/body language is concerned, you already have the mannerisms of a cool guy inside you somewhere, but you may struggle to bring this out sometimes.

I was lucky to have found this forum and was able to go out with some cool people, which boosted my confidence. Things like eye contact and body language sort themselves out when you are in a relaxed and social state of mind (especially applies to newbies). The good news, even a beginner can sort out body language etc very quickly, by getting into "state". You do this by approaching everything that moves (before anyone thinks "i dont need to do this!", not everyone does need to be a approach machine - this applies to beginners, mostly)

So you need to just go and open. Yep, your body language may suck, you may stutter and feel uncomfortable. So what. Just open with "hi" and smile. Doesn't have to be a "clever opener". Openers don't get you laid. This is just a conversation starter, so dont worry.

Big rule when you're out, make sure you get to a point where you are relaxed and feeling good. This is probably 80% of your game.

I could write a 10,000 page e-book on all this, but i think you have enough info for now. Any specific questions please ask.

What's your obsession with newbies Sapmi haha

Maybe he's grooming them?

Indeed, haha!

I figured, why not aim high and since t.v. has a painstakingly high influence in modern day life, why not use a favourite characters name with a personality and charisma that I'd aspire to have.
I was gonna put "Casanova" but thought that would be a bit too ballsy haha.

I listened to Blueprint Decoded maybe 6 months ago (I'm not sure) and then I went on holiday and felt pritty damn amazing. Since coming back up North, something that I told myself I'd never do again, I've become very sluggish and bored. Totally downhill if I'm honest. So I will re-listen to Blueprint Decoded, can't do any harm.
I think that is my problem, my confidence levels are down but if I went out with a group of people I'd feel much better and gain an understanding of how you guys have success. I always feel a hell of a lot more confident in a group and generally do talk to people I don't know when I have people I'm familiar with around me. That would also help me relax as well. It won't be something I can just do straight away but hell when you start something, what's the point in giving up huh?
(great place to quote Charles Edison there)

Sound's more like Neil Strauss antic's haha

Sapmi's got my problems exactly right.. cheers man
Is everyone on here RSD fan's opposed to Mystery and Strauss?

I think many here are aware of the texts, but a lot of the vibe from people here is be natural about it, you can certainly get started with the books and just get the confidence to start approaching people

I've read the text's, still got them somewhere. But yeah I totally agree, I had great success on holiday just been natural and then there's a great feeling that you get but because you went natural you don't feel like you've 'put it on' so you feel even better about yourself.

It's when I'm by myself that I have a problem approaching, when I'm out with mates or when I even have my good friend; alcohol , I can approach with ease not really caring how I open but more just been upbeat/happy/lively.

I did my first, normal approach today in Asda to a hot girl holding 2 melons (I did think of going direct but I was a bit too nervous).
It was just a small conversation, nothing spectacular but it made me realise something; it's easy to talk to women!
I built it up like it would be some sort of catastrophic event but I friggen survived maan!!

I did have another girl that said "sorry I'm busy" and walked off. So I was kinda peeved about that but again, it didn't hurt.

I feel Day Game has to be a priority for me; I believe that if I can have confidence in Day Game then Night Game confidence will be easier to have.

People are gonna think "what the fuck" about this but I'm gonna say it anyway because in order to progress you have to start from the beginning and understand the imperfections in order to correct them. Soo, I have only ever been to a club twice in my life not including parties/pubs/lounges.
I've had the belief that I would crumble in a club even though I'm completely fine in parties/pubs/lounges and will chat to people I don't know.

I need a plan of action, I think I'd be fine in a club, it's just the thought of going by myself that scares me shitless and unfortunately my social group in my Casino/poker games (which I am pritty damn awesome at).

How would you suggest planning this improvement?

Clubs are easy man, everybody is energetic and pretty easy to talk to (mostly because of alcohol), plus with the noise and the music it doesn't really matter much what you open with. The only thing you have to be careful with is dealing with rejection, you will get it you just have make sure you don't let it affect your mindset

Yeah from my limited experience of the settings you are totally right, I just couldn't go there alone.
Honestly I feel rejection is something I'd handle quite easily, I've come to realise that it's not a big deal. It has an effect for about 5 minutes and then I'd be fine but with girls I'd only just met I don't think I'd be bothered at all.

I feel somewhat disadvantaged by not really going in clubs, since I believe in completing what I started, I will constantly push myself further.
If anyone comes up North for a night out I'd definitely be up for it and I'd be up for travelling for nights out and courses; I'm just dead set on improving.

It's when you realise it's actually funny that you wonder why you ever cared.

The ones I've had before now, you can only laugh at, your right though when you get to that point where you can just walk away laughing it has no bearing on your night and you don't lose any momentum.

Try it sober, then you really won't give a shit.

I've tried going out sober, or at least near sober I tend to get bored, something I need to work on I guess...

How could talking with, flirting, being around girls ever be boring?

Because I end up spending most of the night in my head analysing everything

Haha... Yet this response to being sober/normal is fine:

Somehow I am the 'fucked up' one. Interesting.

Are you implying that to overthink is to be fucked up? It's certainly not ideal, but I wouldn't stretch that far...

No. I am intrigued that getting wasted to be able to handle talking to girls is seen as normal, but yet for me to suggest enjoying talking to girls sober is fucked up somehow... and of course, gay?

Rather than repeating yourself, explain why it's fucked up.

Who said anything about getting wasted? I just meant a couple to loosen up a bit, granted though the other night wasn't a very good example of that haha

Wow, you get more and more aggressive with each post.

If you think it's normal that being sober is boring then cool. I am fucked up to suggest otherwise.

Personally, I enjoy chatting to girls. Meeting new people tends not to be boring to me... even sober.

If you bothered to read what I was responding to then you'd notice we were talking about alcohol. Wake up!

I wonder if you even know what point you are trying to make any more. My message was positive, yours angry, pedantic and pointless. There was a time you preached being 'socially awesome'... what went wrong?

By fucked up I assume you mean "insane" or at worse "stupid". I'm just curious and i'm sure other people are, as to why the "it fun flirting" statement is fucked up. Or if anyone else can shed light on this, I would love to know.

Thanks

Errrm OK, no reply.

Just had a think, this would sound fucked up on a gay forum. Is this forum about chatting up and having sex with guys. It seems approaching girls is frowned upon here, so I assume a lot of people here are gay. I'm not homophobic, I have gay friends, but any who says having fun flirting with girls is "fucked up", is probably gay.

I don't see that anyone said it was fucked up, k said its fucked up to make the statement that talking to girls can 'never' be boring.

I agree, if you think otherwise you obviously don't value yourself or your time too much.

This argument is ridiculous though, nova quoting dice to argue with k was fucked up and out of order. I also have no idea what your trying to achieve with your last post sampi?

In that instance I was referring to Dice's attitude to being sober. This was the original point. K, then dissected my wording and took what I said way beyond the realms of literal.

D!ce: I've tried going out sober, or at least near sober I tend to get bored, something I need to work on I guess...

Nova:
How could talking with, flirting, being around girls ever be boring?


Dice:Because I end up spending most of the night in my head analysing everything

Kowalski@Nova: Incredible that you mean this. You have no idea how fucked up you sound.

(sapmi thinks: WTF!!)




@DICE: Nova was not having a go at you. You will feel in your head at times. The more you go out, the better things get. Don't worry. Nothing wrong with the odd drink aswell. There's nothing wrong with going out sober either.

What Nova meant was that, you can get into fun mode by chatting to people. Doing that will get you excited/nervous or a bit of both. How could this be boring? Putting yourself out there is a fun thing to do. No one meant to be out of order. It's only K that put it totally out of context, so I called him out on it.

Guys, I may not be always right, but K is definitely not always right.

K retract that statement. It's fucked up.

Jaz - where's that gay porn when you need it....

God. Such a dumb point to raise. In a court of law you would have had your moment. Perhaps my wording was a little exaggerated. Get over it.

Seriously guys, is this really worth getting worked up over? It had just started out on peoples thoughts about drinking whilst out...

The forum is dead buddy, get over it. Don't know why you revived this thread. We're supposed to talk about anal sex and lube.