Hey guys, it’s been a while. I haven’t really had a chance to do anything pick up wise in a long time. Long story short, for 2 months I worked 70-80 hour working weeks trying to save as much money as possible and this last month I moved to Vancouver in Canada for reason’s I’ll probably get to in another post. I had a bit of an experience last night and had some thoughts that might be of use to some of you on the forum. Here goes...

For a long time I’ve been thinking about performing open mic nights. I play the ukulele, got some videos up on youtube that have had a couple thousand views now so I thought it’d be something I’d like to try. The problem is, I’m a pussy and have this insane fear of public speaking. So I’ve been going to watch a few open mic nights around Vancouver to get myself comfortable with the venues and all that jazz. There’s one venue here called The Beaver that is a hostel and a bar mixed into one. Last night it was doing an open mic night so I strolled on down and sat myself at the bar. This is perfect for meeting new people in the city and more specifically, meeting girls. Straight away I start chatting to an Australian girl who just got into the city that morning. We chat for a while and exchange numbers before she heads upstairs to get over her jet lag (I’ve thought nothing of this until now, I actually might give her a call!). I’m thinking about going home to get my uke until this sexy little blonde takes the stool next to me. Already feeling talkative after my conversation with the Australian, I waste no time chatting to this new girl. She’s Dutch, she’s visiting Vancouver for a couple of days and before we know it we’re clicking.

I’m asking her all sorts of random questions, which she tells me she finds refreshing. “What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?”, “What the most exciting trip you’ve ever been on?”. But one conversation I started and I recommend to anybody was “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?” She couldn’t think of one so I started her off, telling her about a time where I was on a film set and being a bit of a prick I asked one of the runners to get me a tea, which they went and did. It wasn’t till about an hour later I found out that the runner was actually an actor and not only that, they used to be a famous character in Eastenders! This story loosened her up and got us both laughing this triggered many exchanges of embarrassing stories, laughter, kino, comfort and probably most importantly attraction.

Now, I’ve never tried instant dating before, I’ve always thought it was kind of weird. But last night it just felt right. “You wanna get out of here and try a different bar?” I ask. “Sure” She replies. She gets her jacket and I take her to Davie street, the gay area of Vancouver and conveniently 2 blocks from my apartment. I take her to my local bar and we continue to chat as we start talking about more intimate things. Family, friends, past lovers etc. Because we’re in a gay bar she asks me if I’ve ever kissed a guy. “Errr no, have you ever kissed a girl?” I reply, not knowing how to take the question. “No, but I’d like to one day”.

Score. I suggest we move on and I walk her a little further down the street to a gay club. This is great, it’s an absolute cock fest but none of them are even looking at my girl, no obstacles are going to fuck this up for me. As we sip on our beers I’m pointing out different girls in the club for her to kiss. She’s loving this. She’s wearing just casual day wear which is a complete contrast to all the other girls who are wearing skimpy dresses and high heels. I comment on this, I tell her I love her girl next door look and find it sexy. She can’t help smiling. We finish our beers and I put out my little finger, gesturing for her to do the same. She does and I link our fingers together and take her to the middle of the dance floor. I do my usual dance floor game. Taking her by the hands and dancing with her, spinning her around, grinding with her. I’m wearing a hoodie though and all this dancing is making me hot so I suggest we move on. We leave the club. I suggest we go and chill at the beach, a perfect end to the night. But she declines.

My heart sinks.

“Can we go back to your place instead?” She asks. Of course, I perk up again. “Sure”. My place is about a 3 minute walk away. You can guess what happens there.

I wish I tried instant dating sooner. It actually works. Not only does she feel more comfortable with you, but you feel the same. Also, if you live in a city and anywhere near a hostel with a bar, I highly recommend going. You can roll up casually without a wing and get chatting to girls who you know actually want meet new people and want to be spoken to. I’ve found that they usually come alone as well, which is another advantage.

As I was leaving the hostel with the girl, I noticed another girl was there who I’ve been cracking onto the last couple of days. She saw me leave with her and of course, she started texting me this morning asking me about the girl I left with. Maybe that’s the start of something else.

One thing I’m disappointed with from last night, is why I felt the need to take her somewhere else after the club. I completely lost track of why I was with this girl in the first place and had this obsession with trying to build as much comfort as possible. If she had actually agreed to come to the beach with me instead of being so forward with me, I’m convinced I would have gone home alone!

Any thoughts?

Sounds like you did everything right man! Good on you

2 places is generally enough, but sometimes even just one other place will do!

Stay focused is all. Its on. She wants u. Keep it chilled.

I generally allow the girl, (or a friend of hers), to do the suggesting to go back.

It depends on the girl and the situation tho. U gotta calibrate it.

Ps. Got a link 2 some of ur videos?

Good job Cefai. Insta-dates rules, I find them very exciting.

I used to have a fear of public speaking. As you know I have done a lot of it as well and I absolutely love it now!

I once got hypnotherapy, but to be honest I don't think this helped. The main things that have are visulisation, good preparation/practice and just putting my self in situations where it cannot be avoided. The fear is always there, but you learn to control it. Sometimes fucks me off that most things I really enjoy in life are also the things that make me terrified!

Hanging out in hostel, being up-front over "I'm new in the city, just moved", being social in front of crowd with open mic, opening chicks at the hotel in a relaxed way... all that worked well. Builds up social value doing the open mic stuff.