Something I used to say before I started actively ‘gaming’ is when I go out to pull I seem never to pull and when I don’t I always seem to. I thought that this was me just being chodey and giving myself an excuse for not approaching etc (and I thought the same for everyone else who says this). However a couple of nights have changed this for me recently:

America v.s Barcelona

I had a week holiday off work I needed to use last month. I didn’t want to sit on PUA Forum playing Arcade games for 7 days (no offense!), so I booked a flight to somewhere in the US that was cheap to get to and I’d never been before. Turns out that place is San Francisco.

I went on my own due to short notice and I kind of wanted a little adventure to myself. I expected game to be a big part of my trip and I hoped that I was going to be quite successful over there. In fact, after hearing all the stories about how easy it is to pull over there I was incredible optimistic, but also very outcome orientated.

Firstly, the stories of American chicks loving British guys are true. Girls there do love the accent. However, apart from a few numbers and kiss closes what did I get – nothing! Every interaction with girls I had I was thinking how can I lead this to sex so I can tell people back home what a big stud I was in the US. I could go into details of why I kept failing, but it is a waste of both yours and my time. Essentially the reason I didn’t have the success I would have liked was because I was needy. Because I put myself under such pressure to pull, things just weren’t flowing for me right the whole time. Don’t get me wrong it was still a fantastic holiday, I met loads of cool people and did a lot of cool things, but girl wise I came home a little disappointed!

Now 2 days back in the UK and I’m off to Barcelona for our office be-lated Xmas do. We went there for less than 24 hours (21 to be precise I think). I was with work and I made a conscious mental decision not to sleaze on any girls as it would be embarrassing if I got blown out and isn’t really the behaviour I wanted to exhibit in front of my work mates.

However, we ended up in a night club after a fun meal and I’m kind of tipsy and start to get itchy feet. Two of my work colleagues are staring at some girls and I said we should go chat to them. They don’t want to, so I go over and chat to them and end up having a dance with one of them and then 2 of them. I say I have some guys for them and they seem pleased. I take them over to my workmates who look a bit awkward and don’t speak or dance with them. As Jaz said in his recent post ‘You can lead a chode to water…..’

This was fun, but didn’t really go anywhere, so like a new born kitten I started sniffing out new corners of the club away from my work colleagues. My next approach didn’t go too well – ‘Hi I’m Snake Eyes’, she just looked and went ‘No’, I went to speak again and she just shook her head (ouch – glad I did that away from work people who are meant to respect me). But I found this quite funny luckily and it did not deter. I then saw a girl sitting by the dance floor and I went up to her. I think I just said ‘Hi, I’m Snake Eyes’ again. She responded better. It was on, let the gaming commence!

I noticed she was a bit stand offish at being chatted up initially. I figured this was due to the English Spanish language barrier and also the amount of sleazy guys in the place hitting on everything they saw rather than my chat so I continued. I stole Craigus’ line, ‘You look like you need to find yourself a man and started picking out guys for her which she started to find funny (she seemed particularly amused by Dave the Fisherman who had one of the boats in the bay and could take her sailing for all the mackerel a girl could ever want). This in between my silly Spanish attempts, she was warming up to me, but not ready for pulling. Needed to move her around a bit, so we dance.
Slowly but surely we build up to a sexy kissing on the dance floor after quite a bit of resistance. This carried on for a bit and then her friend came back so I went to find my workmates for a bit. Then for the next hour or so I juggled being a charming little Snake Eyes with my workmates and sneaking off to be a charming little Snake Eyes with my girlie inside too. Two times when I came back to see her she was getting hit on by some creep and I managed to save the day, which only helped my cause.

After a bit I said lets leave. In my head I was still thinking ok kissing is fine, but I’m meant to be going back with my work mates so sex probably isn’t going to happen but I thought what the hey, may be lets push this just for shits and giggles – essentially I didn’t care if she left with me or not. She however did care and seemed very excited about the prospect of leaving. We left (not before one of my silly workmates saw us and said ‘eh up who’s this slut’- luckily she didn’t hear).

We went outside and asked her where she lives and she replies…..

‘Hang on you don’t sound Spanish?’

‘No I’m from Boston US’

‘Oh, I’ve been trying to speak Spanish to you for the last 2 hours!’

‘I know…… I thought you were Spanish’ she said (I’m ginger and tanless!)

She lived quite far away and I was too drunk to know where my hotel was, so I said lets go for a walk on the beach. This turned to horizontal walking on the beach until out of no-where she screamed….

…..and as she screamed a guy lept up and sprinted off into the dark.

‘That guy touched my arse!!!’

He was long gone and given my pants were round my ankles I didn’t fair my chances at chasing him. All I could do was calm her down and start again. We started again, but then more of these guys started to appear just looking at us. Was I in some sort of Spanish dogging site?! Luckily voyeurs tend to be rather submissive by nature and a swift fuck off got rid of them. Although one of them one of them was getting quite excited and kept saying ‘ Si, si freaky freaky?’. She was getting rather annoyed. I felt like I should be getting annoyed, but actually found it quite amusing. They were kind of endearing for creepy sick voyeur men.

We ended up finding a park, but just when we were about to fuck she seemed to resent it.

‘What’s up?’

‘There’s a block of flats over there, there’s a metro station over there and a whole load of cars driving past this park and we have our pants down in broad daylight.’

‘Ah, thought you hadn’t noticed that.’ I said

‘Why don’t you come to mine. It’s not too far.’

‘What! You said it was miles away! Yeah we should do that. Anyway what time is it btw?’

‘7.15’

‘Fuck my coach to the airport leaves in 45 minutes!’

So I unfortunately I had to leave my US hottie (that I didn’t pull in the US) and I thankfully got a taxi back to my hotel to a round of applause and just in the nick of time! Anyway the message was clear! When I wanted to pull I didn’t when I didn’t want to pull I did! Desperation smells like shit and only pigs like rolling around with shit!

You may be thinking well that’s just cos you were pissed Snake Eyes, well that brings me to FR Comparison No2……

5 a Day v.s Mate's Birthday / ‘PUA’ v.s ‘Chode’

April Fools! 2 challenges for the fool!

1) No alcohol, nicotine or caffeine for 30 days!
2) Approach 5 women a day for 30 days!

Those of you who have been here a while, may remember me doing this 5 a Day challenge a few months ago where I had to do 5 approaches a day. It was fun and got me some action and I had a really good time doing it. However, I never managed to keep it going for 30 days (which was the challenge). I tried to do this again recently and you know what….

…it sucked and I felt creepy and weird and desperate! I would leave work at 5 hating the fact I had 5 approaches to do before I went home. This shone through when I was doing my approaches and although I’ve got a few numbers, the beginning of April was pretty pussyless considering how many women I was chatting up. Last Sunday (day 10) I quit, as I had an important job interview and couldn’t keep it up (the challenge that is). Plus I was knackered and felt the least attractive I’ve felt in years!

In fairness the no drinking has been a problem too, as although it has shown me I don’t need to have booze to have a good time or be sociable, it is viewed as a bit weird and I feel weird doing it sometimes. Guess this is part of the challenge!

Anyway last Saturday I went to my mates Birthday after not pulling the night before yet again! I went to a mate’s Birthday with the intention of just chatting to my mates and not chatting to birds (I was bit sick of trying and failing to be honest). The whole night I was behaving a little chodey as I get very self conscious around my close friends for some reason and didn’t really want to chat to strangers in front of them (lame I know, but that is the effect they have on me. Not their fault – just me being weird that they are judging me or something I guess).

However, low and behold a cute little blond girl I had been eyeing up, but not had the balls to approach sits opposite me randomly. She is quite drunk and I am quite sober. We have some awkward chat and my mate I was with goes off for a piss leaving us alone.

I feel awkward so I start to think of ways out of talking to her as I’m feeling sober and lame, but then I man the fuck up. God has essentially given me a woman and I should accept this gift. I tell her to come sit next to me as I can’t hear her over there. We chat for a bit and I start to get in my grove a little bit. I think I did the picking a fella thing again, and again made her laugh. Right I need to move her I think (courtesy of my many nights out not isolating girls in the last couple of weeks – so 5 a day was good for something!).

‘Hey lets go to the top of this building we’ll see the whole of London’.
(I had explored some stairs I had found in the club earlier in the evening and figured they would be useful in the highly unlikely event that I was going to pull that night.)

Now suddenly game was on. I took her right to the top of these stairs and we started pulling. In fact I started getting quite hot and heavy. Unfortunately she got worried she was being a slag and wanted to go see her mates. Damn my old nemesis LMR (see Snake Eyes in Poland for more info).

To add to the LMR, a barman also came up and told us to get downstairs. I went and hanged out with my mates for a bit. I seem to do this takeaway thing quite naturally when I’m pulling girls now and it stops me being to clingy I’ve noticed. Maybe do this if any of you are kissing but not fucking.

Anyway end of the night and she is leaving. Balls better go chat to her again. I do. She has lost her hand bag. I suddenly remember she had dropped it before when she was trying to hold my cock. I went off to find it in our little secret attic at the top of the club and I suddenly became her knight in shining armour. The next issue I noticed was she wanted to be with me, but didn’t want her friends to see her leave with me. We hung back and just chatted for a while. We told one of her friends we were going together and we then stealthily exited without causing too much of a scene.

I took her home and after a bit of the whole ‘I’m not that sort of girl thing’, she soon was that sort of girl and came off better for it! Was a good night!
Again I went out not intending to pull and I did. What do you know.

Lessons Learnt

1. Obviously the big lesson here is, all this going out trying to game and be very outcome orientated is harming my success with women. Now I still think my ‘average’ nights are getting better and the two field reports are anomolies perhaps, so I think I should continue the way I am going. However, I maybe should chill a little bit and take things as they come a little more.

2. The picking a boyfriend thing for her is funny, confirms she is single and seems to set me apart from the competition. As long as I keep the tension sexual when doing this and not too jokey jokey it works good.

3. I naturally seem to bounce between my friends and girl now when I’ve pulled. I seem more likely to get sex when I do this as I don’t cling to her and freak her out.

4. Have an idea where you’re going to move a girl if where you are is convenient for pulling.

5. 5 a day was a bit much. Just going to approach when opportunities arise from now on I think. Far less creepy.

6. No booze for a month is a good test of still being able to be sociable. I can still pull and shag when sober which is reassuring. However, it is more fun drinking. Not going to make a habit of being tee-total! May drink less for financial reasons though.

Hi Snake eyes a lot of that resonates with me, it's kinda good to know other people have similar feelings. When I have approached women in the street sober it felt creepy. When I've had a few drinks it felt more fun. I guess it's all in our heads really.

I also have noticed when I'm out with my friends not trying pickup I seem to do better than when I'm doing pickup.

It sounds like your Barcelona trip was really good fun, beats my xmas work do in a pub anyway.

Mark

could it be that those days when you were actively gaming have sort of laid the foundations for those times when you are not trying to pickup?

if that's not the case then please disregard as I've had a smoke and a drink and I may be talking bollocks

Awesome FR, Snake!

Obviously I've heard these exploits told in greater detail by yourself, and havin read these comparisons, I totally get the point you were making last night about trying not to be outcome dependant.

I have felt the same lately, that putting pressure on myself to approach and close makes me become inherintly needy and creepy. I mean the whole concept of sarging can be seen as quite creepy when you think about it.

I similarly have seen the effects of 'not being outcome dependant' when that girl gave me her number in covent garden a few weeks ago. I think if I'd have spent our entire convo thinking about how I was going to get her number, I probably would have crashed and burned!

Much love,

Craigus

I think your right Chillem. All the lessons I learnt do help, in particular the second field report when I was having a far from on night and still managed to get a girl home. The isolation part and dealing with her mates were just there naturally due to previous fuck ups whilst gaming.

The main point I was trying to get at is when I do go out gaming, just enjoy the process and don't get strung up about the number of approaches, numbers, kisses, lays I'm getting. Just take it as it comes and enjoy the night. Secondly I feel I and others sometimes feel the need to prove their approach skills when they meet other wings (especially new ones) and there is a real anxiety if you are not approaching. End up just approaching for the sake of it rather than following their own instincts and intentions.

On a side note, there are two things that I've witnessed (that are even worse than the above) that seem to be a problem when meeting up with wings from here:

1) You indulge your own chodiness and don't approach. You feel it's ok, because the other one isn't doing it either and your both in the same boat. Solution - bring it up with your wing that you are being lame and do something about it.

2) You're are out with someone who is having a particularly on night and it intimidates you, which in turn shoots your game to shit! Solution - Play your own game mother fucker! Be happy your wing is having a good night and work towards the same! Having been on the better side of this as well I can confirm when having a good night, you just want the other person to relax and have fun. You don't view it as a competition or anything.

Bit of a tangent there. Hmm this maybe deserves its own topic......

What night did you do best recently? The first rock night when we were just having fun and not making a point of approach approach approach!

I think the key is to just chill, still take opportunities as they arise and when in set just be more like oh yeah I should do this now rather than right step 32 tell her she has a an eye booger, insert hand on shoulder right!