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The right reaction -
11-04-2011, 03:51 PM
So, I was out last night, with my Polish couchsurfer, at an international evening at a bar . There were Erasmus students and other couchsurfers present.
I was chatting up some Russian bird and in the meantime two really sleezy and rough looking Italian guys came over to chat up my Polish couchsurfer. They offered to buy her a drink and she accepted. They were clearly trying to get into her, leaning all over her lasciviously etc... When I came over to see how she was doing, or if she needed rescuing, one of them asked me if she was my gf. I said, "She is on holiday and she is my guest." The guy started saying, "Oh, I didn't know she was with someone so I offered her a drink." I patted him on the shoulder, smiled and said, "Then you are a gentleman." He started trying to explain himself some more and I stopped him. "It's okay," I said, "I understand, no problem," and, seeing that the Polish girl was okay, I went back to continue talking to the Russian girl. This is the correct way to behave in this situation and shows confidence. But the trick is, it's only easy when you genuinely don't give a fuck. When you are in a relationship and there are feelings involved etc... it's much harder to be like this. This is what I want mastery of, so that I can react like this every time, regardless of how long I have known the chick or what my feelings are for her. Wish me luck... (ohmmmmm that's the sound of the universe, as I meditate to gain control over my emotions).     
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(#2)
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11-04-2011, 04:09 PM
I'm started to get tempted by this couch surfing idea. I've got the space. I didn't think it was my style but my style is a pliable thing these days! Have you had any aggro yet, like their "acquaintances" turning up unannounced, or things going missing, or problems with keys and access...that sort of thing?
PS
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11-04-2011, 04:53 PM
No problems, whatsoever. Everyone is very well behaved. If not they get a bad reference on their page and then people might not host them in future. The better your references are the more people will host you, or will want to stay with you. I haven't heard a bad story yet!
I know one guy who rents an extra flat with two double beds, just for hosting couchsurfers. He is nearly 50 and seperated from his wife, so I think he just does it to meet new people. The Russian girl I was chatting up last night was staying with him. I told her that I'll host her the next time she comes ;-)
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PostScript (11-04-2011) | ||
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11-04-2011, 04:53 PM
Do you live in a tourist destination?
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11-04-2011, 06:13 PM
Quote:
PS
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11-04-2011, 07:07 PM
I've recently come to the conclusion that lifestyle is key and saves a lot of hassle and energy wastage. If you can combine that with solid inner game, then that has got to be a good thing.
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11-04-2011, 08:49 PM
Okay, now I have heard of ONE bad incident:
2009 Leeds Incident. On 5 March 2009 in Leeds, UK, a man named Abdelali Nachet raped a woman from Hong Kong who stayed at his place through the CouchSurfing project. Nachet was sentenced to 10 years in prison.
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11-04-2011, 08:55 PM
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11-04-2011, 09:14 PM
Quote:
Goal to aim for - believe you're the man.
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12-04-2011, 10:13 AM
They say that mastery of emotions depends on our level of emotional intelligence, though, and that our brains are wired to react in a certain way from a certain age. Just knowing the right way to react is not enough. When our emotions attack us, we react very quickly and it is hard to control.
I am very interested in this area, because I would like to know just how much this can be controlled and changed. I believe it is crucial and I think it is where a lot of this inner game stuff (unless accompanied by an intense program of meditation or something similar) such as RSD falls incredibly short. Just look at how many people go through life making the same mistakes over and over again, despite the fact that they often know what they are doing wrong. Think of how many people you know that are unable to change certain aspects of their personalites. The old self keeps creeping back no matter what. There is a big neurological piece of the pie missing here.
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