Generally feeling happy with someone is not the same as being totally into them. When you are really into someone and you desire them loads, it is harder to control your emotions and reactions to their behaviour. You may think you have mastery, but are you really just playing it safe? This question is to myself as much as it is to you.

I tend to go out with very independent girls, who have their own minds, lives, friends, careers, and interests. These girls are always much more of a challenge in relationships, however, and tend to put your emotional control to the test.

The taming of the shrew is one of my favorite plays by Shakespeare.

This is what I believe and adhere to, after a year in the community and my own self-development. If my girlfriend/partner finds someone else is better than me, I rather her go with that person. BUT the truth of the matter is, I always believe I am better than that person. And I have proved this time and time again...!

I dont totally buy into this. When in a long term relationship and i mean 4 years plus into it, its extremely easy to not make the effort anymore, irritate each other etc etc.
This stage is when you will somtimes see somone and wonder if the grass is greener, ive learned this the hard way that in almost all cases it isnt.
Its an experience thing hwoever.

A relationship where you've put just 2 years(clearly demonstrating successful exit of the honeymoon period without a cave in) into it is all that's necessary for the effect you speak of Refl3x.

Two people that have spent that amount of time with each other connecting, bonding, learning each other's mind and body, the way both think, etc etc. Nobody that you've only just met can possibly compete with that. There are fringe cases where people may have spent a very long time wanting out of the relationship that this doesn't apply to, but a genuinely happy relationship with just the typical "Hmm I wonder" issues will always be better than whatever someone might find in the short term afterwards.

It takes years to build that up with a new person. I see far too many people make this mistake, happy in a relationship but experiences some curiosities such as this, they end up fucking everything up and hurting themselves immensely.

ding that was me!
after 10 years -- however, i was thinking the other day- that after everything that happened im not sure if i will ever be the same person again.
but i needed to make this mistake to learn these lessons

I agree with this. I have been with my girlfriend 2 years now. I have been curious before, but in the end, the grass aint greener, I've been there tried it and it just isn't. And you're right about the immense pain you put yourself through as a result of this curiosity.

Indeed.

In a long term relationship it's always better to be honest with your partner about any problems and attempt to repair those first rather than fucking it all up. If a relationship can't be repaired then fair enough, it's time to move on.. A lot of people don't realise that they really ought to hold onto something that they've built up for years, not until they've already done something stupid to mess it up that is.

It's a bit of a cliche but communication is key. Being able to talk to a long term partner about absolutely anything, especially problems in a relationship, is key to being able to make it work. If something lasts longer than the honeymoon period it has the potential to last much much longer, provided the two involved don't do something dumb and environmental factors don't come into play.