Saturday night and it’s my first time sarging with PUA’s. Zigzag and Brightside came down to Worcester and we could all feel it was gonna be a good night.
We met in O’Neills and straight away Zigzag hit’s us with a confession. He’s got oneitis. He says that he’s still up for the sarge but he won’t go any further than a number close, which is fair enough. It ends up that he opens more sets than either of us. We talk about where we are in our PUA journey and how we got in to it for a while before heading to Bar 12 to start the sarge.

Get some drinks and straight away Brightside opens a two set as a warm up. They’re both HB8’s and he gets their interest easily. He ejects a little while later and we all head to the back bar. Next Zigzag opens a two set that I barely remember but again he locks in well.

By this time I’m being a little hard on myself, I’ve not opened a set and I don’t want to be thought of as an AFC. I get out of my head enter a set and use the tattoo opener I’ve been thinking up since we got in here. I enter a two set of HB9’s.
Me: Guy’s help me out with something, have you got any tattoo’s?
Girl A: No but that’s really weird because we’re both getting our first ones this week.
Me: Cool. Reason I ask is because my mate wants to get some black and white work done but I’ve only got colour tattoos, so I don’t know where to recommend. Where would you go?
They list a series of places that I all ready know of and make a recommendation.
Me: So you’re getting your firsts tattoo’s this week huh. What you getting?
Girl B: We’re getting little hearts on our wrists to signify our friendship.
Me: That’s really weird cos I have a heart on my wrist (I pull up my sleeve to show one of my tattoo’s). We could be tattoo buddies.
Girl A: That’s cool but we’re not getting anything that big.
I rip on them saying they’re scared then eject from the set. In hindsight this was my best set of the night and I ejected way too early. Pretty sure I could have number closed Girl A .

We analyse our sets before Zigzag opens another. Brightside and I talk about our sticking points. Mine are that I still don’t feel comfortable with kino and that I am not that confident at dealing with obstacles in sets. He says that he has major AA, all though to look at him in action you’d never tell, and also that he feels unworthy when approaching HB10’s. I try and reframe that for him (let me know how successful that was mate).

Zigzag returns and Brightside opens a three set behind him of two HB8’s and a HB9. Again the set goes well and he returns feeling in state.

I open a two set of HB7’s to my left with the who judges on looks more opener. They look confused and don’t offer an opinion. I give them some grief about not even being willing to offer an opinion and eject with “do you know what, it was nice to meet you”. I laugh it off and chalk it up to experience.

We move back to the front of the bar at which point I run in to a friend and ask her where she’s going tonight. Promise to meet her in there but don’t. Her friend turns round to me and says thank you for saving her the other week. I’d got a much older guy to leave her alone by amoging him out of the set before telling her that she was too young for me and that I’d break her heart. She kisses me on the cheek and says she hopes she sees me later.

Next I try and open an HB8 that’s dancing, because I like her dress. Turns out she’s Spanish and doesn’t really understand what I’m saying. I eject and we move on.

Next up is the Lunar bar. We head to the bar and immediately start some banter with the barman about the price of the drinks. Zigzag opens a two set next to us and again it goes quite well.

I open a mixed four set by asking the target where she got her jacket, as it would look good on a friend of mine. It’s two years old and not in the current collection. I hit the eject button again. Should’ve transitioned.
I show the guys some of my street magic with a vanishing cigarette. Zigzag uses me to reopen a set with it and it goes down well. I go outside to smoke it and am opened by a slightly drunk HB8 who needs a lighter. Can’t remember exactly what was said but I neg her a bit and make some wisecracks about being social pariah’s and how everyone secretly knows that it’s cool to smoke. We have a bit of fun as we go back inside and neither of us wants to let the other one go first. A bit of kino as we playfully shoulder barge each other out of the way. I end up going up the stairs first and she calls after me that she’s going to stalk me now. I chuckle to myself and rejoin the guys.

Zigzag opens yet another set sat in the corner looking bored. Couldn’t really see it, as there was a crowd in the way. He comes back buzzing so mission achieved.

Next we head to the Pheasant and wait ages at the bar. Zigzag opens an HB7 by the window while we wait. For someone with oneitis he’s a bit of a machine.

We head upstairs and I’m immediately opened by a girl who used to have a thing with two of my mates (at separate times). She comes over and immediately hugs me and holds my hand. I squeeze and she squeezes back. Talk for a minute or two and then she leaves kissing me on the cheek. Plans are made to see her at work on Thursday.

Brightside opens a two set of HB8’s and is going great guns. A HB9 joins them a few minutes later and I come in to wing (a little too early by like five seconds). I DHV him by asking when his band was playing and join the set. Two of them are called Sarah and the other one is called Natalie. Brightside plays with her by saying that he’ll never remember that so she is now Sarah 3. Zigzag occupies the HB9 and I try and occupy Sarah 3. Sarah 3 doesn’t like not being the centre of attention with Brightside so she asks how old he is. He replies with the best line “why are you selling fireworks?” but she’s had enough. She goes on about how she’s thirty but he’s blatantly older. Brightside does his best turning to his target and asking “Is she always like this?”. The target looks embarrassed by her friend but it’s time to eject.
We go and stand by the window and discuss the set. The girl that opened me a few minutes ago asks if we want her seats as they’re leaving. I say that I thought she was going to offer me good conversation and decline showing her the hand, turning and freezing her out. She’s immediately out of her seat and kinoing me saying about how it’s a girl’s night but she’ll see me Thursday. More hand holding and another kiss on the cheek before she leaves.

Finally we head to Drummonds. It’s rammed as usual and we fight to get to the bar. Zigzag opens a two set of HB7’s that turn out to be sisters. They look so funny as they have exactly the same hair cut and are wearing the same clothes. I don’t know if he used that as a neg but I would have done. Somehow the conversation gets around to dancing and Zigzag tries to do some salsa with one of them. She says she can’t dance and I take the opportunity to say that I’m appalled as I thought all women could dance. He immediately opens another one across the bar and I go outside for a cigarette.

I’m asked for a light by a HB7 who then stands three feet away from me. Realise now that she wanted to be opened but I was too busy looking for 8’s 9’s and 10’s.

Brightside and Zigzag come outside and we discuss our successes and failures. A HB7 comes and sits next to us and asks for a light. I oblige. Zigzag tries to open her but she doesn’t hear what he’s saying three times and Brightside steps in. He stays with her for about an hour and plays a blinding set. Ends up number and Kiss closing. Her friends enter the set at one point and we effectively wing him so they don’t drag her away. Later on her friend re-enters and Zigzag and I occupy her. She’s having a bad time and wants to leave so I end up doing some NLP with plenty of kino, followed by a psychic cold read which completely blows her mind and leaves her in a much better state. They finally leave and we head to the bar.

Final set of the night is a mixed two set. Girl is probably an HB6 at best. Zigzag goes in because the guy can’t dance and shows the girl some moves. Brightside and myself keep the guy occupied with banter about his poor dance moves.

Learning from the night – Stop ejecting too early and kino is easier than I think.