Hi, A newbie here (at 39!!) but really keen to hear others take on this scenario.

A summary
Met beautiful woman last saturday, friend of a friend, a little eye contact, flirting and get her number for a meet later in the week as we leave.

Following friday, meet at 7, couple of drink, little touching and making my intentions clear. Then to a Tapas bar, This woman is totally hot and we kiss over dinner table, getting pretty carried away. Leave here, and onto another bar. At this point i'm starting to think done deal. The bar was not particularly light or many customers and it ended up quite embarrassing - . I walked her home, on the way her mentioning something about not being long out of a relationship but conversation drifted on to something else. Mean time we kissing and all over each other. She says i'm not coming in (in the nicest way) and we kiss and arrange to meet two days later.

Call her and she mentions again about recent relationship, this time adding that it was of 12 years and only finished 2 months ago. Would i understand?
I'm too nice a guy i guess and said yes (knowing what it can be like coming out of serious relationship). Said how great a time she had had and gave the impression that it would be cool if we bumped into each other again, but for now not ready for anything.

Really stumped as to how i could play this.

Hi mate, welcome to the forum. Not too sure what advice to give to you but I can share a very very similar experience. Met this hot girl too back in early January before I got involved with the community. Took her out on a 1st date, spent 6 hours together, kissed, plenty of kinos, she stayed over at mine but in the spare room. She did say she had the best night ever.

Talk to her during the course of the week and she came up with the same excuse "just out of a relationship of 11 years and she wasnt ready to start anything with me". The first mistake I made was not taking the hints that she wasnt interested (yes we did kiss, kinos etc on the 1st date). Asked her out again on a 2nd date the weekend after but this time I went out with a couple of my friends. She came over at mine and shared my king size bed but she was totally pissed so yet again nothing happened.

Again when we talked during the week, she would come up with the same "Im scared and I dont want to start anything serious and it isnt anything to do with you cos I like you a lot"...!

A week later we spoke on the phone and she was telling me she been out on a date with a guy twice in the last 1 week since I last saw her. So much about not ready for a relationship. And that was it, never spoke to her again! Deleted her number!

Im not sure what's wrong with your girl. Looks like to me shes making an excuse. She probably like the attention hence the kissing.

But if any advice I can give is probably to move on or at least show that you aint interested. Let her do the chasing next. If she is keen she will come to you, if not there are loads of women out there for you and me, matey.

Much Success!

I can't recall the exact term from The Game, but isn't this just the response you would expect from a girl who doesn't want you to think she is a slut because she gives it up too easily?
She wants to convince herself, and you, that what you will have is more meaningful than a quick shag.
I would have thought some flowers and a candle-lit meal might persuade her of your serious intentions.

Thanks guys, kinda makes some sense, i see where jaz is coming from and suspect thats right. At one point at the end of the night we were touching faces etc and she said 'you've just been making love to me - you do know that'. Nearly choked, but guess maybe came over a bit too much for first date. The big problem is that i didn't retort at the end of the night and play it down just to fun.

She is totally hot, maybe you guys call her a 9, but a little older(so shocked as she looks 30) but not what i would consider girlfriend material - just a lovely fun girl thats is fit and pretty as you like.

I guess its how best to turn around situation and make it clear that i could be some simple companionship and f buddy. Should have done it at the time!

She lives pretty close so there is chance i just bump into her again, will try and be more on the ball next time

Hey dood,
How you getting on with the girl? Or have you decided to move on and do more scouring? Plenty of HBs out there...

Much Success!!

Hi there, Gonna leave this to experience, maybe will bump into her as we have some common friends and lots of parties/bbq's coming soon, could well bump into her again.

I am kind of thinking about how to give her a killer phone call though, plant the seed and remind her of what fun we had and that i might not have been offering relationship anyway - just some fun.

There must be a quality way to re-approach her a week later without sounding desperate!! I will learn i guess...

cheers and best hunting to all!!