After a pretty pointless saturday night, sunday got plain weird.

Me, J and B headed back into Scunny around 9ish, into Barracuda.
I am pretty sure it was gay night, and town was pretty dead. We grabbed a table and got a pint in (£1 each ) We then went to the smoking area and sat down to see 2 Thai women eying us up. They kept checking us out until the hotter one came over and in turn gave us a cigarette while saying in a thick Thai accent 'you fit, you fit, you fit', and then went back to her friend.

We went back inside where i got a £3 round in and we sat down, followed by the Thai's, who sat at a nearby table just checking us out.
J then got a phonecall from his ex-gf saying to come pick her and her sister up from somewhere, so being a pussywhipped fool, he ditched us to get her. As soon as he left, the hotter Thai came and sat in our booth and just starts chatting unrecognizable english while me and B nod along like we have a clue.

She asked us to go to Mary Rose with them both so we went with them. The place was a friggin dive but we sat down and hotter Thai was buying us pints and shots before we'd even finished our last drinks. B seriously thought they was gonna date rape us or something and we was both blagged and slightly out of our comfort zone with these 2. I seriously felt what it would be like to be a girl that night, the way they was plying us with booze and fags lol.

I was starting to get used to her awful accent and ended up facebooking each other on our phone and for some reason she started kissing me on the cheek now and again. I went to the toilets where i spoke to B. We were both unsure about these 2. B had work in the morning though so he wouldnt be going home with anyone anyway.

As we got out of the toilets we found they had changed tables but they waved us over to them. As we sat down an Indian dude came and started rubbing the less hot Thai's legs. Hotter Thai lets out a torrent of shit as this guy 'What you do to her, Fuck you, that my mum, you fuck off'. I was thinking what the hell man, and i laughed i think just to ease this weird tension i was feeling. Her mum then said she was tired and went home.

B then said he had to go but i would stay with her. I shot him a right look like 'what the fuck you doing'? We got outside she was saying 'you 2 come with me i cook for you'. B wouldnt stop going on about how he had work and I would go with her. I was getting pissed off with him at this point as he clearly knew i wasnt comfortable with this and just wanted to go home.

She was going on and on about how we should walk her home, so B said we'll drop you home on the way to ours in a taxi. At first she wasnt having it and wanted to walk, but decided to share a cab with us. As we pulled up to hers in a rough, shithole of an area, she asked if we were both coming in. B again says he had work but I would. I said 'fuck this man, no' but seriously with all her strength literally dragged me out the fucking car.

Now at this point i was a mixture of angry, blagged, tipsy, horny and scared as fuck. I couldnt believe what was going on as i watched the taxi drive away. I tried to relax as we got in the house and she just started plying me with bottles of Stella and cigarettes as we sat in the garden.

Half an hour later and a light came on upstairs. I heard talking in the bedroom. I said who's that but she didnt want to tell me, this didnt help my anxiety. She just yelled 'turn off light, you go to fuckin sleep'. It was just blag after blag.

We then went upstairs while she was saying 'we friends, we no fuck'. I was thinking what the hell am i here for then? We got in bed and as i lay there sipping my Stella she stripped off and holy crap her tits were huge (she said 36dd) i got an immediate lob-on. She the leant over and rested her head right on my crotch and feeling my lobber she said ' ooh whats this, whats this'? I said what the hell do you think it is? She just started noshing away like a bitch in heat. I was confused thinking a) i want to get the hell out of here and b) but this feels so damn good.

So i ended up doing her. After she quizzed me on my age and occupation. Ashamed of being unemployed, in a moment of madness, i told her im an architect, and i designed new housing in Hull (where the shit did that come from).

I awoke to her on the phone, call after call, all her friends asking about me!!
She put her friend onto me who was saying 'who you? you like my friend? dont you break her heart or i break you legs'!! I said yeah whatever thinking holy shit these people are fuckin tapped, i've know Thai bird less than 24 hours and already my legs are in serious danger.

Things got slightly better though. It was like she couldnt do enough for me. She brought me tea and toast in bed while she made me watch ironman 2 on the bedroom tv. She sent her mum out to buy me a toothbrush so i could shower and clean my teeth. Just before i was about to get up the bedroom door opened and in walked a HB9 Thai bird. I thought wow who the hell is this. She went to the wardrobe and kept sneaking a look at me giving me a beautiful smile inbetween pissarsing about in the cupboard.

I asked Thai if it was her sister. It was her friggin daughter who was 18. My Thai turned out to be a 35 year old mum of 2 whose son was at school and daughter was checking me out.

I got ready and said i gotta go, but she started saying 'no you stay i cook for you, i take you home later'. I kinda felt obligated to eat her dinner, so i let her cook thai food which i couldnt eat because it was spicy as a mofo. I had to see out the whole day at hers until she wanted to take me home. She even made me go to morrisons with her while i held the goddamn basket. All the time i was thinking 'what the flying fuck am i doing this for???'

We got back to hers and her 4 year old son was back who pestered me about power rangers and Thai mom going on about how she was so glad she met me and she feels all relaxed around me. I just wanted to get out of there but seriously i have low confidence and couldnt bring myself to just walk out so i held out for a lift home.

Get this though - the icing on the cake.
She kept banging on how her husband was dead. This led her on to say how in her culture her belief is to not be unfaithful or disloyal to her man and its only ok to mess around if you are single. I agreed with her. Then she dops the bomb ' but i feel guilty about last night because of my fiance.
Jesus christ i just nailed another dudes fiance, i am shocked and appalled for real.

My 'friend' B txt me saying he'd pick me up after work so i ended up waiting for him and at 5.30pm i made my escape.

It was truly the strangest, most blagging, scariest night of my life so far i just dont know what to make of it lol.
All i learnt is Thai women scare the shit outta me whilst making me very comfortable, and try and find out if shes got a partner (even though she had a fiance she had no ring on - i always check early on).

Not a sarge on my part, just a damn strange night and day i thought i should share. But for the most part you really had to have been there to understand how off the wall it was.

TITS!...that is all thank you.



p.s. Shit happens least u made the best o it right?



LL

Awesome story! Very entertaining!

Fucking great story mate.

LOL Funny as. After hearing this and Kowalski's stories of Scunny, it sounds like one classy place!

I thought this was going to go even horribly wrong and she turned out to be a ladyboy!

you are amazing

entertaining story i thought she was gonna turn out to be a ladyboy haha