Last night I was pumped. A few lads were visiting Swindon for a mates birthday and we don't get to see them often, so we were on it pretty hard. We had a massive session of drinking FIFA and ring of fire, so naturally everyone was jumping around, shouting and being laddish. This got me into state, big time.

We went to liquid and I was having an unusually great (pick up wise) night. Everybody I spoke to, man or woman, was really open and warm to me. We hit the dancefloor early and straight away had a hb8 approach me, dance up to me and grind me. As the night went on, my mates and I just kept dancing and if I saw a girl I liked, I'd get her attention, take her hand, spin her and dance with her. One of the girls I noticed on the side of the dancefloor was a hb8 that was in one of my classes way back in college. I danced whilst racking my brains to remember her name and when I did, I moved quickly and approached her. I wanted to cut any bullshit and try my best to be direct.

Me: I remember you from college
Her: Oh hey yeah I remember you too
Me: Hang on, don't tell me your name, I'll remember it (I obviously pretend to think) Emily?
Her: Hey, well done. How'd you remember that?
Me: I remember the things I like.

She smiled at this. She couldn't help herself. She also remembered my name which came as a shock (I was a massive recluse in college) We had a nice 10 minute conversation that didn't really go anywhere after this. Mainly due to me not thinking about what I was saying and reverting to my usual chodey conversation, not taking it anywhere. I also ignored her friend.

A while later I see Emily and her friend on the dancefloor. This time it went better. I went straight up to her, grabbed her hand and gave her a spin. I then, focused my attention on her friend and did the same. I now had both of their attention. I turned away to my mates and danced with them for a moment. Then went back to my target, dancing with her and grinding, before going back to my friends again.

It got later in the night and I decided I had to get her number. I usually chode out and wait so long that the girl leaves the club and leaves me without a close. I walked the club and found her by the bar and I approached.

Me: Hey
Her: Hey! how're you?
Me: Good, but I just can't let myself leave here without getting your number!

I felt her hesitation as I was confidently getting my phone out of my pocket. She held up her hand to show me the ring on her finger

Her: Sorry, I'm married.

It was fair to say at the time I was absolutely gutted. Now I'm sober and looking back on it, I find it hilarious and can only take positives from this. This is the second time I've opened direct and I felt I got good results from this. This is also the first time I've put it on the line and taken a risk. It didn't
work out but I still feel good about it.

Another massive positive from last night is kino. I escalated like an absolute champ. I got myself in the mood for this by Kino'ing EVERYONE. Hi fiving the guys I met and even Slapping my mates backs and asses. lol. One particular set that springs to mind was a hb9 sitting on a stool at a table. I opened by placing my hand on her hips like a I usually do and even managed to whip out the claw which is another first for me. What was strange though, she responded well to the kino, even kino'ing me herself by taking my hand, but then she'd also let the conversation drop at times, turn away from me and lean on the table looking bored. I can't make out whether she was actually trying to get rid of me, or giving me her own version of cat string theory.

Whilst I'm approaching more than I've ever done, I'm still getting lot's of approach anxiety. But my new sticking point is in the conversation. I'm pretty sure I'm not saying anything that can build attraction and whenever I can't think of anything to say or awkward silences arise I'm super quick to exit the set.

Is there any tips for this?

Good work man, that sounded pretty smooth to me. Like your style.

Good field report Cefai. Don't worry about finding things to talk about in conversation. The more you approach and get talking, the more it will occur to you that you can talk about whatever you like. I find that asking a fairly open question after opening is a good way to get cracking. From there just vibe off the girl and see where the conversation takes you, whilst not forgetting to keep it good and sexual (something I need to work on when I get back).

Keep at it, sounds like you're doing just fine!

Misleading thread title. There's no fail here you did great.

Cheers lads. I was referring to the married girl being the epic fail. But yeah, thinking about it, there's far more positives than the one negative.

I guess my question is, how do you guys turn the conversation sexual? Is it turning things what she says sexual? Or do you have particular lines or conversational threads you use? The only times iv turned things sexual is when iv just randomly come out with a compliment out of nowhere

Like Mycroft says, there is no fail. The more you get these sort of 'rejections' (and they are circumstancial I might add), the more you will not let them affect you onsite. You need to learn to not take rejection so personally, there are a variety of reasons for a girl saying no, or that she has a boyfriend. Start factoring in these and not focusing on yourself so much.

As for being sexual, you sound like you were doing nicely with the kino. Keep at it, and don't be suprised when the girls enjoy this.

My tip is avoid super long conversations unless you're in comfort phase, or you've kissed her. Then you bounce her (love that phrase!) to another location in the club and you can then just talk about basic stuff.

In my admittedly limited experience, women will get bored very quickly if you're just talking. Also, over-talking is usually a sign you're procrastinating and you're not pulling the trigger and escalating quick enough.

So aim to escalate quicker, then you can have all the time in the world to talk after you've really hooked the girl - not before!

As we all know, one of the sure-fire ways to escalate quickly is heavy kino and going direct in telling the girl you think she's cute.

To paraphrase Elvis, "less conversation, more action".

Well said. This could also be a reason that it becomes uncomfortable. That point where you exit the set, is perhaps the point you knew you should have been escalating.

sounds like a succesful night as all sarging is practise for the next day/night, best thing you've done is taken positives from the night and not got down after a rejection, me and d.styles recently went on a sarging weekend to newcastle and was in the mood you've described all night where your speaking to everyone and your social value is rocketing through the roof, i underestimated social value at first but seen first hand how important it is, with the building attraction part i think you have to focus alot on being the prize as this has worked wonders for me with alot of girls biting straight away, great report though

Hey cefai,

I use to have this problem and still do to a certain extent but what I've learnt is that if have got ioi's/attention from her then it's best to do the following (in my opinion)

1) pick up on anything you could call bad or naughty, like her clothes, what she is drinking, look her in the eyes, then to the mouth, then eyes, when u say it, this ges all sorts of emotions going if she's game

2) start talking about a holiday, sunsets etc for example

"my friend just wen on holiday and it reminded me of (insert country) and I loved it etc etc

3) if near a dance floor say at start of convo, halfway through or whenever

"I know this may sound wierd but a friend of mine reckons if your a bad dancer your bad at sex, what do u think?

She may say yes or no but either way you can say "I think ryhthem is important"

and then just start talking about sex, if u have the ioi's she will play along

and then ask (I got this from Adam Lyons afc)

"I can't understand why women love giving head, I mean I just don't get it"

she will then, hopefully qualify why she likes it which is the best result, as you are them talking to a girl about bj's and obv your a guy she likes or she says no and u agree with her