Yea I was an all day long user. From morning to night. So I know it was the constant smoking that gave me he negative effects.

Except for the last 2 years where I cut down drastically, only getting a bag of weed here and there (back then it was 99% resin whereas these days it's the opposite).

Then I felt the time was right to finally quit for good when myself and some friends were smoking a big fat millennium spliff containing a quarter of resin.

Nah, I smoke all day for decades with a year or so off one time and don't get any such anxiety. It's nothing to do with frequency of use.

Weed, shrooms, acid, anything that gets you to think introspectively will sometimes bring up uncomfortable things about you, your situation, etc. If people get anxious when taking them, that indicates that they have some issues they need to work through and that they are not happy with their lot. Sounds like you had some issues and weed was bringing them to your attention.


Peace,

kowalski

Weed is a psychoactive drug. It fucks up most people's heads, if not a significant amount at the very least.

As with ANY drug that has a powerful effect on the perceptions of the brain. Hell even caffeine is proven to affect people's brain make up.

Weed turns people into lazy, socially isolated, stupid beatniks on the dole.

It's like when you see teenagers who are stoned and can't even make eye contact. Or you see them debating on who has to go into be shop to buy everyone's shit as theyre all too scared to go in. Even if weed doesn't trigger any physiological changes, the very experience of constantly being socially anxious, being lazy, watching Adam Sandler films, will have a drastic effect on your psychology.

What both of you said.

For me. The smoking from morning to night affected me I know that. Whether it was cos my parents split when I was 11 I don't know.

But what I do know is that everything I done after that was my own choice. Nobody ever forced me to do anything.

Perhaps by Kowalskis judgement I may have had underlying shit because of that but I never once consciously ever thought or said that. And I have never blamed anyone for anything I've done. Nobody forced me. I did it myself.

Aside from that I will argue that prolonged cannabis use can fuck your head up regardless of life problems.

I also of course did have various heavy drug use such as E's coke speed & "legal highs"

Which were fucking me up also.

As I got older I understood how and why they all fucked my head up. And if it was because of issues, it was subliminal. I wasn't consciously aware.

I don't know why I got so easily addicted to everything I ever took. But that's what happened.

Ps. I quit drugs 7 years ago today.

Also, niggers and Mexicans take it then rape your daughter's.

Shah, nice theory shame if someone were to test it... No, wait. They already did and the evidence says you are wrong.

Still upset from when Michael Phelps got him high and abused him.


Peace,

kowalski

Dan, you drink alcohol. You have not quit drugs.


Peace,

kowalski

I quit illicit drugs.

In what the fuck way?

I was arguably a slave at various points when I was hooked on something but I don't see how I'm a good little slave for eliminating shit from my life that had became very bad for me.

First, look up the word slave. You can't be a slave to a drug. That's a poetic use of the word and not what it means at all.

Alcohol is a drug.
People who consume alcohol and claim to not take drugs are willing slaves.
First, they are using the language of the masters. Second, it is pure double think.

The word drugs has a use. When some are tricked into using the word in a different way it blocks useful discussion and it tricks those users into a series of other false beliefs wherever the word comes up.

It is the same with freedom of speech. People say they believe in freedom of speech, because it is considered virtuous. Governments want to control speech and say that, for example, "we have freedom of speech and incitement to violence is illegal". The people accept this double think and then repeat it. You do not believe in freedom of speech unless you believe that there are no cases in which speech would be illegal... that no test for whether an instance of speech is legal or not should exist. This makes useful discussion impossible

This is exactly what Orwell was warning of.

Or, think of someone saying they quit gambling whilst laying bets I'm the bookies on the reg. You question them and they reply "I quit ilicit gambling". What the fuck! Still a gambler. Still a drug user.

Illicit only means that it is illegal. That there is a law against it.



Everytime drugs are mentioned in any context up you pop "look at me, I quit drugs". First, no you didn't. Second, its irrelevant.. Then follow that with a bunch of 40 year old dogma that stands against all the science on the subject. Like a vegan.

Dan, you are a recreational drug user... just exactly as you were those 7 years ago. And your current drug of choice is the most addictive, most physically damaging and most likely to lead the user to violence, unprotected sex, breaking things, self harm, suicide, problematic relationships with loved ones, etc., and severe health issues out of all the common recreational drugs where we live. So three cheers for being a good little slave.


Peace,

kowalski

TL:DR Kowalski spouting bullshitting to be right.

Weed is a drug and fucks your head up if you smoke it regularly e.g. more than once a week. Getting fucked up on a Saturday night is fine on pretty much anything.

Most studies that say weed is okay are badly done. Stoners don't have the required brain mass to figure this out. Too busy watching videos of children falling on YouTube, and eating chocolate hob nobs.

Lol. Why waste your time?


Peace,

kowalski

I'm tempted to take acid and DMT. Cos I always did rather enjoy hallucinating.

I've got this cute 18 year old friend who told me she'd let me know if she gets her hands on DMT. She's into her amphetamines & shit so she's mad looking to try it too.

She said she'd be up for us taking it together. So I've imagined us smoking it, travelling to the other universe, talking afterwards about our little trip to the other universe, dropping acid, tripping some more, then fucking.

I might be just fantasizing though. However, it's not an impossibility.

I fully accept what you say - we all take drugs be it caffeine, alcohol or nicotine. And they're the 3 of the most addictive.

I did however, manage to quit taking amphetamines and psychedelics. They were hurting me, and I had to stop.

So, I did that.

So I went to St John's for a few days and it was really awesome. It's an easy town with laid back vibe but also has the most amount of bars per person in North America.

For me 2 things of note happened there.

Recently I have been working on my eye contact, making more intense "sexual" eye contact and just using it to see who is attracted to me.
My first night out I was walking down the street with some other people from the Air BnB and there was this tall, dark haired and attractive 40 year old walking down the street with another couple. We made the most intense eye contact which caused us both to stop, turn around and talk. I feel that if we hadn't been with other people pulling us on, it would have turned into one of the most intense kisses I'd ever had...

Secondly, we'd just left a club and were just chatting away outside when I saw from behind a girl with an interesting team hoodie. As I went to ask her about it and I saw her face and eyes, it stopped me mid-coversation as she had an insane twinkle about them. I told her this instead of continuing my question to which she immediately covered them and asked me what colour they were. I got it right and we chatted, exchanged numbers as I had to carry one of my new friends home. Co-incidentally she was an air hostess from Montreal so we promised to have drinks back home.
90mins later I get a text asking me over to her place despite having no real sexual contact.

Bonus non-pickup story:
We were walking back from the bar one night and decided to go sit on the dock. We ignored the no entry signs and hopped the fence. 10 mins later 2 RCMP (federal police) come screeching up. Fortunately Mounties in Newfoundland are nice to drunk idiots and gave us a ride home as we were obviously harmless.

I finally bit the bullet and did a stand up set on an open mic night.

For a first time it went really well and I got a good few laughs and some ideas where I need to brush up on my material and delivery.
My favourite was a laugh-gasp response to a risque joke about the Royal Family.

I'm definitely going to do it again as and when it pleases me.

I'm not bigging myself or any of that shit but I'm quite a funny cunt in general, so I wonder how I'd do at a stand up gig.

But then again nobody's ever gunna be funnier than Kevin Bridges. So i'll just go back to drinking my wine here.

I enjoy having a joke but I found it very different to being on stage. Most places require original material so you have to write your own jokes or tell stories with a punchline/climax.

I'd recommending trying some improv or definitely going and watching an open mike night or 2 and giving it a go.

You have my total respect, man.

I have such a yearning to do that.

3 whys that I need to address. 1. Whenever I plan I never group doing stand up in with the stuff I put deadlines and demands on. So it just sits there. 2. Sometimes I sit to write comedy or take a quick note of something funny, generally on reading it back I hate it (this has started to change recently as I've been writing a lot of fiction the past year). 3. I totally fear eating dick up there and know that is pretty much par for the course, everyone sucks in the beginning and even when they're accomplished they still have off nights (much like hitting on girls).

Now I also have an excuse; being here I would have to do it in Spanish.

Though, I remember there was an oriental kid that would go to the open mic in frog and bucket Manchester every week. His English was awful and he would get some laughs just for the absurdity of his whole thing. When you kept seeing him each week though it became hilarious.

I did improv a lot but with improv the audience know you are improvising and are almost always 100% on your side. They get that some things just won't work and others will.

Before leaving Manchester I started to make arrangements for a story night like the Ari Shafir This isn't happening shows because that would be like a halfway between improv and standup. You aren't improvising but neither is it standup. The audience are expecting great stories, well told, seasoned with laughs here and there.

I have no excuses just fears.


Peace,

kowalski

I think I had exactly the same 3 points that kept going through my head and it wasn't until a friend said to me "hey you keep saying that you're gonna do it, when?" and I didn't want to keep lying to myself about doing what I wanted to do.

The eating dick on stage made the first 2 other points appear a lot bigger.

After not completely eating dick (on stage) I'd like to try it once a month where life permits.

So it's been 3 months since I last posted, the main reason being it's our crazy season at work and I not a lot happens outside of work which I'm ok with as it gives me 2.5 months elsewhere per year.

With work, HP who make some of our equipment have started ranking their customers anonymously in that I can see our position but not the names of the others. This ranking has placed me consistently as one of the top performers in the World, North America and by far the best in Canada.
This has got me noticed all the way to the top of our company and within HP and other related companies nearby (other printers and manufacturers of paper, equipment, resources etc.)
It also got me a little payrise and involved in some international conferences next year with the possibility of presenting. I'm keeping my finger on the pulse and I'm starting to look at transitioning to something bigger and better in the next 6-9 months.

Not much news on girls, the 2 FWBs that I've been seeing the past few months have been fun and it's been rather on my terms which is something I had struggled with. One of them started to feel like it was developing more into a relationship and I neither want one or the drama it brings so I'll see how that goes in the next week.

We had our work Christmas Party where we have 3 parts to our company. I spent the night being hit on my middle aged quebecoise women who like that I'm British and my reputation within the company. Most of my working relationships feel better for it and I think that should I wish to pursue one or 2 of the younger women, it would probably be reciprocated

I spent a month back in the UK at Christmas.

I noticed 2 things mainly
- Hitting on women is tougher when you don't have a "sexy accent"
- People are generally more open to chatting with strangers in day to day settings although I think maybe that is different due to visiting smaller towns and more relaxed pubs/bars in comparison to Montreal

This year I've been on the go a lot and had the opportunity to travel to a few places both personally and with work:
Atlanta - Met a cute Hawaiian native who had just finished at work. She seated us but then finished, I look over and see she is drinking alone and invite her to join our merry posse (a tall hipster and a hispanic american who I'm sure was on Meth all week). She had a couple of yellow Newcastle Brown Ale woolly hats, one of which which I grabbed and then "won" the right to keep it from her in one of the best Rock-Paper-Scissors games I've played. We Uber it back to my hotel and I made her fuck me wearing nothing but a yellow woolly hat

New York City - I went to New York for a weekend and I was expecting New Yorkers to be grumpy fuckers, couldn't be further from the truth. I wouldn't call them insta-dates, but I chatted to a few groups of/with girls when queuing for sights which led to a few sexually charged tours and some number changing but nothing concrete.
First night there, I hit up a restaurant for pizza, another for cheesecake and finally a stand up comedy show. Was on my way back to my hotel but not in the mood for bed and I saw a sports bar showing the hockey. I decided to go in. Despite having a mixed crowds of ages, men and women, I soon realised due to the REALLY friendly men that it was in fact a gay bar
Last night there I hit up a country bar which was a "dump" but crowded with lots of fun personality (but no mechanical bull sadly). I made eye contact and then introduced myself to a Puerto Rican pilates instructor. There was lots of touching, some funny dancing (think dance off for the shittest dance) with her mates. I suggested another dive bar which I had seen close to my hotel - we say goodbye to her friends. Turns out that the dive bar was one of the best bars I'd been in - done up like a tacky 70's caravan/trailer park, the food, drink and staff were awesome. After a little more crazy dancing we head back to my hotel. She was possibly one of the hottest women that I'd ever been with but she properly star fished.

I'm off to Dallas and Ottawa next month...

Dallas was pretty awesome.
I got to spend a day in the city and it was pretty much a rodeo/bourbon theme covering the city. Mostly it was nice to be somewhere above 0 for a few days (although that's improving here now)

My main reason for going was a work conference. It was awesome, they had presentations, educational sessions and panels throughout the day, showcases for new tech late afternoon and then the evening were the equipment sales teams buying whiskey and cigars. Obviously they rolled out the pretty sales ladies to sell stuff however it was easy to get their attention being better dressed, younger and considerably slimmer than my american counterparts.

The first night I met an Israeli engineer who was there to present and a glass of wine and some tapas later we were back at her suite. Despite being "fit and fun she was a little aggressive and hairy.

Second night we were taken to dinner by our main paper supplier. Their technical director is incredibly kind yet an animal on a night out, we drank whiskey, told jokes and generally had an awesome night being sociable.

Third night was their closing night which was a massive party. I was going to go into big detail but it's not relevent and only serves for me to reminisce. After smashing a dance-off, 2 hula hooping competitions, numerous tequila shots and getting the longest time on the mechanical bull, I went back to my room with a pretty sales rep. Most notably I had some beer in my room and in trying to open a chocolate stout for us, I managed to spray the room with it - I left a $45 tip for the poor Mexican lady who was about to walk into what looked like the after-scene from a horrific diarrhea incident...

I liked the event as I just tried to learn, meet people and have fun. In doing so other people had fun and got involved more. Afterwards I feel like I advanced in my career, socially and personally...

This is more of a personal life update...
I've finally managed to really get a hold on my depression - funnily enough it's actually from micro-dosing with weed (THC oil vaped for ease of use) 3 times a day: upon waking, midday and 5pm. I feel the most stable that I have felt in a while, my only concern is that working with machinery I cannot claim through my insurance or be upfront about my use at work due to the problems that may cause (ironically I have other colleagues with desk based jobs who do)

I have an electric skateboard for getting around and its so much fun and a fast inexpensive way to get around. Spring is heating things up and I can't wait for summer to get here, it just feels so good zipping around on this thing whilst listening to upbeat music.

Work is pretty awesome, after a couple of good work events earlier this year, I've increased my work network and feel like I can choose my next job if I want to stay in the print industry (having declined 3 offers this year). The only thing that I dislike right now are the small-minded arseholes in Quebec - they like to whinge, bitch, insist on 100% perfect French and hold grudges. It makes what could be a beautiful ride a little bumpy.
Right now I'm reducing my outgoing costs, saving and simplifying to return to school next year (sep 19) for medical imaging (x-rays) - I've already been accepted but if I can study without money worries, I'll be champion. I'd like to take my technical problem solving skills with imaging machines and do something positive other than killing the planet...

Stand-up - last week I participated in my first pro-am comedy night (unpaid but a bigger more interactive crowd). It went really well, so much so that I was invited to participate on the musical mondays (still comedy based) with my uke. I'm also going to get involved with other comedy clubs - particularly a bilingual place close to where I live...

Womens - things were going well, I wasn't having trouble finding womens and some of them would even let me hold their hand :banana:
Then at the comedy night, a girl who's been hot and cold with me was there and incredibly upfront about how she wanted to "hold my hand" and more, a few good friends and an ex (also wanting to hold my hand). After the show I had 2 girls come and give me their number and another find out what I was drinking and bring me a pint (a real first).
I don't like bragging but I feel like here is the place to share my success - I thought I was holding my own with girls but since last week I would describe my "game" as "slaying mad pussy" as my friend put it...

The past month depression has been kicking my arse. It’s been nearly a year off meds and overall it’s been positive but I put myself in a position where I wasn’t taking care of myself properly with work and with a close friend having a tough time. I don’t regret my decision but understand the importance of boundaries and self care a lot more.

I find it a little bittersweet to deal with. It’s never a pleasure but it helps me ascertain what is important to me. My sex drive drops but my desire for affection and laughter increases. It also helps me develop more authentic communication in that I can be more succinct about my needs and capabilities and I have become better at drawing boundaries.

The bar a block over has become a regular haunts, they serve my favourite beer, have a Mexican wrestler/retro theme and it gets busy making it easy to start a conversation. Also close to mine which makes it far more tempting than my belle having to take a taxi...

Dale, you didn't actually ask any specific question so based on what you've said I'll respond with this..

Things always get better. I know that's quite generic but it's the simple truth. I know a guy younger than me who was buried this week. He purposely took an enormous amount of heroin, tightened a belt around his neck and died holding a photo of his young boy. Apparently he did this because he wasn't seeing his child - well I think he's a fucking stupid cunt because now he'll never see him.. I have a 6 year old boy, I would never let him be without me through me killing myself.

The point i'm making here is Dale that there's always something to live for. There's this saying, that I've been chastised for, but i think it's quite relevant "If you're going to kill yourself then you obviously don't give a fuck what happens to you, so you might as well stick around for a bit and see what happens"

Shit, I think I went off on a tangent there, you weren't suggesting suicide. But my points are of course, relevant. Hope you're ok man.

I can't comment on depression, mi amor, I don't know anything about it. I hope you have it in check as much as you have expressed here.

At least stay alive long enough to share with us the experience of the glory of C45, please. I listened to the entire senate debate the other day. It was fascinating. Very much like the English parliament except Canadian politicians seem to have a fear of speaking for more than 60 seconds without saying either "but what about the aborigines" or "but what will the USA think".

Kinda weak way of doing politics, no? (Not saying there are known good ways, just that this way seems weak af... but also it is often quite successful.)


Peace,

kowalski

Politics = Dan has left the conversation

Shut up, idiot.


Peace,

kowalski

Why you saying that tho?

I was just saying I don't give a fuck or care about politics. Explain how that makes me an idiot?

Thanks for the love guys, I'm doing ok.

I personally (and most other people) can't wait for the C45 bill to pass but it'll be interesting to see how the provinces deal it in their weird devolved ways.
There's a whole mixture of things going on here and the first nations guys are a really valid concern - they don't have the federal regulations so they cut anything expensive (petrol, cigarettes, alcohol) with really damaging things.
That said most people in Canada live in large Metropolitan places so old white conservatives have less of a hold with their bullshit
With the bill definitely being passed (but just awaiting the details) the Police are remiss to bother themselves with ticketing over it now

I don't think it'll make much of a difference to consumption, people here are pretty chill and it's more acceptable than tabacco. Hopefully getting decent stuff will just become easier Leafly
Each dry Sunday throughout the summer they have a drum party in the park where people go to bang drums, smoke weed and picnic on the side of the mountain. The police wander through to keep the peace but never make any arrests (unless somebody is obviously dealing in a very public place in full view). It won't make much difference to me.
I stopped using my disposables more recently out of sheer laziness to buy more and since I bought more at the weekend, it's really helped the depression.

By dry Sunday you just mean a Sunday without rain?

I googled looking for strange prohibition laws and this came up...Blue law


Peace,

kowalski

Dan, I'll pm you, man.


Peace,

kowalski

Pretty much and even if it's light showers a few hardcore people will give it a go

Tam Tams"discretion, moderation and not consuming in view of children" is pretty much the golden rule of living in Montreal

8-12 weeks :biggthumpup:

Had a tinder date on Thursday night, I no longer try and find dates to impress a particular girl anymore, i decide what I’d like to do and invite them along.
My experience with Tinder has been positive with most girls resembling their profiles. This girl was underrepresented by hers. Very underrepresented.

We hit up a comedy club. I like this because I love stand up comedy but as a date, you hardly talk but are both laughing = good time no effort.
I suggest we frequent my favourite pub knowing there is an arcade en route. Whilst walking and talking I take her hand and play with her fingers. I let her win at air hockey but then win on dance dance revolution before we stand back and watch some Korean kids slay it
We sit at the corner of the bar which has a great view of the house band, fast service for drinks but is cosy enough to be pushed close together - her knees are between mine and we flirt, touch, drink and kiss. I see another date on the other side of the bar - girl looks bored, dude looks frustrated.
We Uber it to a block from hers and I walk her home with kissing. We cross the road to avoid a skunk and I make a pépé le pew line and sweep her off of her feet like the poor cat. She laughs (and likes being swept off her feet and kissed)

Bottom of the stairs we kiss and she invites me up...

I went to Cuba last week and I found it enlightening in many respects, firstly being the whole communist regime and borderline poverty situation but that’s for another day and thread...

I hit up the Noche Blanca, it’s hot and humid and just standing makes me sweat without walking or dancing. We hit the floor with a half gringo half Latino group and we have fun with stupid moves and I throw in some salsa. After an hour of being there our little group decides to head off.

Just as we’re waiting for the bus back, another friend messages me he’s there with his friend he wants me to dance with. We dance (well I try) but I spot a girl that I’ve made eyes at around but couldn’t really talk as my Spanish sucks as does her English. I walk up to her and motion to the floor and I’m met with a smile and a nod. I take her hand we dance

For nearly 2 hours we dance, grind and touch but each time I try to make a move, she turns away but keeps me close until it’s tome to go. My friend walks me to the bus and explains that the police will intervene if she is seen with a gringo and at minimum she would be fined. My t-shirt is wetter than a 40year old at a Michael Bublé concert.

The next day I see her and through intense eye contact and sexual tension we manage to exchange Facebook info, we’re on a level I can work with (or at least mr google can) she tells me she wants to meet me at the beach later alone and I reluctantly agree (confession time, I had my gay Latino friend check my messages to make sure it wasn’t a possible prostitution situation)

At the beach she arrives and I have rum and music. I greet here with la bise which just turns into kissing, dancing and a rather intense experience where we were communicating physically. I manage to suggest we head back to mine clandestino, which was met with an energetic si. No rum was been drunk

I’ve spoken before about latinas and how all experiences that I’ve had with them have been positive but most bizarrely it’s the second time that I have been with a girl where the verbal communication has been barely present and therefore animalistic in physical expression and reaction...

N.b. Spanish speakers call me Teo and tell me “Eres como Ed Sheeran”

You know in Cuba when they dance you are supposed to keep trying to grab their pussy and they are supposed to keep dodging it. It's a legit culture thing... according to Joey Diaz.


Peace,

kowalski

Maybe and that wouldn’t surprise me, I think the main difference was that I was staying in a resort area (with a friend rather than at a resort)

Sounds like a fun game, call me President Donald J daleinthedark

Last night I was called Daddy for the first time... was not wholly unpleasant

Had a quiet month or 2.

Things started to gain momentum last week on Tinder. I find it really hit and miss as I can go for over a month without a match and a couple of months without a date. I matched with a few girls the past 2 weeks, one of which had seen me doing stand-up and was also British. Another quite hippy-ish is a fucking riot with mood-killing jokes which have descended into a lot of aids and abortion jokes when fucking.

At a halloween party I dressed up as cheap Voldermort - being bald I put sellotape across my nose to make it flat, wore a robe with a Dollarama (PoundLand) logo stuck to the back and took a twig as a wand. Pulled somebody else dressed in Harry Potter garb.

Weed is now legal. Within my social circle it hasn't really changed a great deal. The official licensed shops and are run by the government, expensive and usually out of stock since legalisation. Most of the public remain the same with their opinion - great on a night our or at home but dislike it when I smoke whilst on the swings and slides