lads, i will keep this short but could do with your advice...cos im stumped

I met this girl of a site, hb8/9 very cute but her pics reaked off pretentiousness. we get chatting and and i use some opinion openers, a bit of canned material, but be myself. so we meet up last sunday and go for a drink and see Avatar, i paid, we had a good night, demonstrated lots of higher vale, i picked her up and dropped her off at home. kiss closed and thought she was a pretty cool girl. She was pretentious, loved going to the top nights in london, loved partying, told me she did coke at weekends (i dont like that much so told her) said some other stuff, like whenever she goes out she trys not to pay with her mates at whatever club she goes to..
she wasnt very intelligent, she was a PA and her interests in life was looking pretty.


so, i email, we meet up tuesday for lunch in london, we go for a coffee, i be myself and have a laugh. she emails before i get back to work saying she had a nice lunch and thanks. we plan to meet tonight (sunday), i said i would cook her dinner etc or go out. then i get a text earlier saying, hope u had a nice weekend, im not sure anything is going happen between us and that she wants to be honest. so, i play it cool, say thanks for being honest and wish her all the best and make a jokensaying not sure i did wrong. she texts back and says i did nothing wrong but there wasn't any chemistry....

so what is chemistry??? what did i do wrong - 2 good dates, made her laugh, negged a bit about her mates with fake tits and said there is more to life than looks etc and stuff. WHICH SHE AGREED and said they are all insecure etc..maybe its cos she is shallow and sees this little world of pretentious places, people buying her stuff, not having to pay to get into places etc. but i played it different but got blown out. any rational - good or bad would be appreciated lads. pretty pissed off. well, she was hot but i couldnt really see it going anywhere with her admitions of coke - drink driving etc. but still feel pissed off i didnt create any what she called 'chemistry' any tips lads on creating chemistry and what u think it actually is??

First of all look on the positives you got 2 good dates with a good looking women you made her laugh and k closed. Don't pay her way for lunch or the cinema you shouldn't have to buy her affection. Paying for dates lowers your value.

It sounds like she isnt right for you anyway mate when you said she lacks intelligence and does drugs. You seem to be getting validation from her looks but if her personality doesnt match or you dont like her behaviour then is it worth it? And drop the canned material you cant be yourself while using it.

Look on the brightside and keep plugging away and you will find the women that is right for you.

Cheers Casanova, im just a sucker for a pretty blonde - just thought i could show her life outside of her box i suppose. Your right about paying, but its something i have to work on, cos i just feel its a nice thing to do but i know your right. o well, plenty more out ther and lots of other warm leads just thought i was getting somewhere decent with this one

That's only three

Michael,
Stop beating yourself about this girl. Just from what you had written, you couldnt see it going further anyway with this girl. So why pissed of with yourself? Dont waste your energy/emotions thinking about it. You did nothing wrong. You CANT create chemistry it just happens...! How you expect chemistry from a pretentious woman who has totally opposite values/morals that to you??? Move on fella..!

cheers for the comments lads, your all right. was on a bit of a downer yesterday but feeling much better today. always know i can rely on reading posts here or asking questions to get some great advice/views which sometimes are common sense just dont come straight away when your thinking wrongly.

This isn't higher value. This is trying to impress her. She will sense this, which lowers your value.

But this is exactly what you did, right?

I'm going to be blunt: She sounds like just about the least desirable girl on the planet, and I wouldn't touch her with a fucking barge pole. Send her the bill for her cinema ticket, and anything else you bought her - she wasn't worth a penny of it.

Seriously though, can't you see that she's using guys to feel good about herself and doesn't really give a shit about them? She's a blood sucker on an ego trip out for all she can get. Leave her to the toads on dating websites, get out into the real world, and approach any girl you like the look of. Some of them are really great to talk too and are actually nice people that you'll want to be around. This one sounds like a fucking nightmare.

Forget this. Chemistry to this girl is an excuse. Either that or what used to come between Maths and morning break. Chemistry hasn't got anything to do with it. She got what she wanted - a free night out - and moved onto the next one. You're probably only the latest in a long line.

The first and last tip on having chemistry with a girl is to find one with a personality you actually like, and one who values you for your own personality. After this, everything else takes care of itself. Its natural.

My reading of this is that her value to you was being blonde and attractive. Personality didn't come into it.

Your value to her was being male and someone she could leech from. Personality didn't come into it.

And as others have said - get away from internet dating websites. They cater for two types of people:

1. Guys who can't meet girls in real life.
2. Girls who don't get approached by guys in real life.

If you're number 1, that's ok, because it is fortunately a skill which can be learned, just as any other skill, with practice and persistence. But it won't solve itself whilst you're wasting your time on the internet.

Be grateful you're not number 2. There isn't much you can do if you're in that category. Except maybe stop snorting coke and drink driving.