Two field reports mates, from Jak at American Uni.

FR1: In The Van
This Saturday we took an all-expenses-paid trip to an art museum/exhibit. One of the perks of living on a college campus are that your social gatherings are pre-planned - all you have to do is show up.

We drive there in a pair of vans, 12 people to a van. I've decided I'm just gonna have fun tonight. I'm so nervous, though, that for the first 10 min, I just sit back and snooze. I wake up and start from scratch, "What, are you serious!? We're not there yet?"

My outrage sparks the girl on my right shoulder to show off how well she knows this route. This girl is my target - she's cute, talkative, and snarky. And then we just talk, goofing off and talking about Japanese and I get us to roleplay by writing "Help! I'm being kidnapped!" backwards on the foggy window. The driver is the kidnapper and we're all being taken to Wisconsin to be sold on the black market.

I'm not the leader of the pack by a long shot; the guy sitting in front of me is. He's sweet, interested, and has that magic ingredient in high school and college interactions: he knows schools and the regions they're in. "You're from Marietta? Awesome, my school played your high school football team last year..." But I'm having fun and becoming the alpha male can wait. He gave me some social proof by asking me to tell a story about my trip to Ireland - I stalled to prevent from being jukeboxed ("Push a button and it tells a story!") and when I did tell the story later, it was so winded and pointless that I lost whatever points I got from that.

I laced the story with the drug dealer and the skydiving instructor I stayed with, and later she asked me to finish the story. I count that as an IOI. I'm going to have to improve this story.

Catching dinner at Waffle House and the ride back were much the same. I was Party guy: fun to hang out with but not someone you take home. One step at a time.

FR2: Inside, DIY Crafts
There really was a DIY crafts workshop going on at the museum. I walked in the door and took a blank tote bag from the woman at the front, who spieled about how its inspired by one of the exhibits. Tonight, we sew in hell!

All the chairs are taken.

It's a room full of college kids from all over the state and they are all deeply involved in making tote bag masterpieces. How do I break into this? Of course: the Accent trick. I shimmy across to a table and say, "Is that your fabric? Too bad, it's mine now." I'm bullshitting now and I feel fake - this girl isn't responding as much, so I bounce to another table.

Much better female spread, three artsy chicks on my right (read a theatre girl and two punk rock tshirts with lip rings), a guy named Lefty with a REALLY gaudy shirt on my left and his friend who came to town to visit him on my left.

I conversate with "The Shirt" Lefty, fully into my South African/Australian/New Zealand/no-American-can-tell-the-difference-anyway character. I find out Lefty's friend goes to my college, too - we fist-bump and chat about our awesome tote-bags. After a bit, I turn back to the table and try to neg Theatre Girl on her bag (she has 3 bits of fabric on it, everyone else has only 1, because it is DAMN HARD TO SEW BY HAND).

"Jeez how long have you been here, like 2 hours? You have 3 bits on your bag."

No go. "We just got here 5 minutes ago."

"That's pretty good, mate, for 5 minutes." I ask about threading my needle, since everybody so far has had some trouble with that. I loop it through while she's giving advice on how to thread it, so I say, "--or you could just do what I did." "How'd you get yours in so fast?" "Because I'm just that good."

She asks me about my accent.

"Jayzeez Christ, everyboddy asks that same question mate! Tell you what, have a guess and I'll tell you if you're close."

Australia comes first. Then New Zealand. Ireland. All fail, of course. I can make this accent do whatever I want. She's working so hard, I give her a hint. "It's in Africa." South Africa.

"Yep, I learned this accent from some South Africans I was surfing with over the summer."

"Wait so you're not from South Africa?" And the game is back on.

This is my routine, I've been using it since before I knew about routines. I can do Australian, Irish (good enough to make a Galway girl think I was from Cork), and with the dreads my Jamaican passes w/flying colours. The problem is I let it go on for too long and people get frustrated.

I chat with Theatre Girl, who I name "Oglethorpe," because I never bother to ask her her name. The situation was flash-mob - "We'll meet and never see each other again after tonight" - and I think it added a playful tone to our conversations. Every so often, the thread comes back to "Where are you from?!" because Punk Rock T-shirt across the table is DYING to know.

We talk about our colleges. She is hardup for Oglethorpe University and tells me I should go, but her best pitch is, "It's in a castle. It's expensive but totally worth it. We do awesome things there." I dig on her for the vague sell, and she takes it like a woman, "Yea, I know it's a lame sell. But it really is amazing..."

After about half an hour of flirting with Theatre Girl and sporadic conversation, I have ONE flap of fabric sewn onto my tote bag. This is not unusual. Nobody except Theatre Girl and Punk Rock chick have made realistic progress on these things. Theatre Girl and her boy friend Josh decide to book, and I say, "Cool. See you 'round, Oglethorpe." I wink at Punk Rock chick after she's gone and say, "Can you keep a secret?"

She hesitates and I act suspicious of her, "You hesitated. I'm not sure I want to share this with you anymore."

She says No I can keep a secret, and I say, "I'm actually half American and half Asian, and --" dropping the accent, "sometimes I speak with an English accent." She freaks out.

I see Theatre Girl and her boy friend in the museum later while wandering around for art, but it's not happening tonight. Number closing was out of the question. But I had a good time, and I've got a few new stories to tell about making a rocking Tote Bag with the peanut gallery at the High.

End FR.

So, I'm having a good time. But I want to go from being the Fun Guy to the guy everyone wants to be their Best Friend (and then to Master PUA). But I'm not flipping those attraction switches that make girls want to get MY number. My thoughts are that I need to demonstrate more value, show that I'm a Leader of Men and work on my Ireland story. What are your thoughts?