I almost f***ed up so bad last Friday. I live in the same dorm as this hot friend of mine. Our schedules are so different that I never see her anymore. I called her up and told her I wanted to meet her tonight to practice massage (you can never have too many skills). That coupled with wanting to meet her in the basement (it's where we keep the kitchen AND the giant TV) and accidentally dropping the word 'date' in conversation (as in "It's not like this is a date or anything") and I could feel her freak from a mile away. Proof positive: she says over the phone, "I was just eating dinner with my boyfriend..."

So I come back a half hour late for our meeting and I'm freaking out, like, I'm about to lose a cool friend because she thinks I want to sex her up and down the place (I do, but that's beside the point). Calm down, what would a PUA do?

I head to the fridge where I've got veggie stock frozen into a cupcake tin. Prop. I hear her walking down the stairs and... the boyfriend is there, too.

I knew it.

Play it cool. Play the prop.

"Alright guys, any ideas for how to get this stuff out?" (I had legitimately been struggling with how to get the frozen stock out of the tin for a week by now.)

Boyfriend says run hot water over it. Of course. I do it, thinking, that's why she's with this guy and not me. Play it cool. I apologize for being late, the movie ran later than I expected. I explain about the massage. I need a live massage dummy, but not just anybody can be a massage dummy - if you don't tell me what I'm doing right/wrong, I can't learn anything, etc...

They're agreeing, nodding heads and helping finish my sentence. Whew. Disarmed that bomb. Still uncomfortable. I pull out my homemade Caramelized Onion-Sweet Potato Butter (it DOES taste weird), sit on the bar with my back to the wall and engage the boyfriend.

I ask him what's going on. It's been too long. He launches a story about how where basically he solved a problem brilliantly. Focus on the boyfriend. I tell a couple of stories, then me and hot friend talk to him about his options post-graduation. The whole time, I'm focusing on the boyfriend. And slowly, ever so slowly I feel the tension going down.

We get out of the kitchen after they've tasted my concoction and talk about our favorite movies on the couch. She's tired, so she goes upstairs. Me and him talk for another couple of minutes, and I say, "Not that I don't enjoy talking to you, but I've got a pretty good eye for people. Are you here for the reason I think you're here?"

He looks at me funny. Don't look at me funny, I know why you're here. "Why do you think I'm here?"

"That last phone call, I could tell from her voice she sounded really uncomfortable... I think it had something to do with us meeting in the basement. I mean, it does sound kind of sketchy." (It does)

"Well, that, and she came around nine, and you weren't here, so she was confused. And I was already here, so I figured I'd just come along." [Cha, sure.]

"Yea, that makes sense." I apologize again for being late, and we head up.

My suspicions confirmed, but I think by playing it straight and focusing on the boyfriend I managed to difuse most of her worries about the massage/basement/date mishap. So we're basically back where we started. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

Jak

I think you should consider meeting new girls as opposed to spending all your time and energy plucking up the courage to make a move on established friends. She freaked out for a reason, and I doubt it was because she had a boyfriend. More likely she was shocked you thought of her in a sexual way after acting as friends around her thus far. Ideally you want to lay down your intentions from the start with any girl so there is no confusion.

Sorry to be perfectly blunt here but I was really cringing just reading that! Actually being present in that situation would have been doubly cringeworthy. I'd be suprised if you actually have salvaged that friendship. I wouldn't be suprised at all if her and her boyfriend avoid you as some 'oddball'.

Have some common-sense people, if any part of your being thinks 'actually this is abit odd/creepy' it most probably is! so don't do it!

I don't wish to attack you personally I'm sure you're not a bad guy but this is not the behaviour of a cool guy. Why do you want to practice massage on her anyway?? If that's purely a tactic to touch her up or to get girls thinking you give good massages so they will line-up in droves to be man-handled by you then that is lame. If you study physiotheraphy or similar then fair enough. But don't use it as a deceptive 'tactic' to get women.

Sounds like it might start to become a one-itis, get away asap.

Reading your replies to threads you have skills, get out there, if it is a one-itis f-close 12 girls and hopefully you will move on.

I don't know about you but I remember when I was younger I would get hung up about certain girls, all I wanted was to f-close, but the more I tried and they became one-itis the harder it was. And think about cat string theory, the more your not allowed the more you will want her. Move on, think about how many sets are everywhere else waiting to be opened! Good luck

Cola

@nova: You're right. I usually start flirting with a girl off the top, but my sticking point is showing value. With people I'm already friends with though, I'll just think of them as "burned sets" and just focus on having a good time with them.

@Hustler25: Ouch. I needed to hear that. The reason I want to practice massage is actually legit - to get good. Massage/back rubs is an awesome skill to have, regardless of whether you practice professionally. I don't think of it as a chick-magnet skill (anymore), but just another way I add to the lives of the people around me.

@Cola: No worries about one-itis. She's great but she's not my type, personality-wise.

This semester (from Jan to May), I'm just going to focus on socializing and getting to know my city. Campus is this tight-knit community where everybody hears about or knows about somebody else, so I'm going to develop a reputation for being a fun guy to hang around.