Hey guys! hope you alright!

So here we go, my first field report.
Yeah, just came back, and will have lectures tomorrow at 9.00, but anyway, fuck it, can’t really fall asleep now.

Tonight I went to Java with some friends, had a pretty fun night.

Firstly, I started with opening a 2 sets of hb9 and hb10 (found myself cant do ugs anymore,I know its not a good thing :P ) I used the opinion opener, had them discussed for a while, but didn’t go too far. Basically I didn’t feel like they were that interested in me too much, so just cut the crap. “nice meeting you, have to get back to my friends now, talk to you guys later”

And then, I opened a 3 sets directly, to a hb9. After exchanging names,
I went “so wots your story?” she goes “I’m English, from xx (can’t remember :P) and I do Spanish and Russian.” Etc.
“No shit, you know what, my ex girlfriend, was Russian, oh, I can’t even talk to you right now” I back turned.
Made her giggled a bit. And she brought up some boring topic (like they always do)
It actually went quite well, she was generally interested. However, there were two problems

1. no kinos. This worried me a little bit at the moment, as then was touching me, I didn’t really know how to continue, (sounds weird, hope you guys understand what I mean).

2. I generally built some comfort with her friends, but it just some interruptions kept on coming in, like they were taking pictures, dancing, talking to each others. In those situations, I feel like been locked and don’t know how to get involved.

Anyway, It ends up with I asking her number, and she told me she has a boyfriend. Actually she even showed her boyfriend’s photo to me,(hehe not expecting that coming, evendice :P)

After that, opened a ramdom one on the dancing floor. She doesn’t really speak English, Her name, I can’t pronounce, I guess its Polish (Pavel, you hope you were there!!).

The last one, hb8, opened on the dance floor, she was with her drunk friend. And her friend was hitting on me AND my friend, dirty dancing and all stuff, didn’t like drunk girl. But,I kinda feel regrate now,lol… I should take any chance yeah?

Anyway, I got her number at the end, but dun really think I’ve built enough interaction with her,( I know this is REALLY difficult and important tho, I’m just not there still ) so probably gonna be a flake. I’ve text her with the gold “who was the sex guy you were just talking to” (taken from Kowalski)

I think I’m getting more and more familiar with the stuff now, quite good. But definitely need to learn and practice more.

So guys, do discuss, and help me with the two problems I had if you want to.

Peace

Hey mate you're making really great progress by the sounds of things so you should feel good about that and allow it to boost your confidence. I would say the only problem you have is that you are thinking too much rather than just enjoying yourself. The only thing that should be on your mind is an image of the girl that you are talking to naked on your bed. Then touching her and continuing to do so should feel a bit more comfortable cos you've already seen her naked so it's no big deal haha. As for the feeling a bit awkward when people interupt and something else starts going on, it's just best to chill and hold your frame well. Just smile and keep yourself rooted to the ground like a tree. In fact, imagine that you are a tree, lol or maybe not, each to their own. If you look comfortable with yourself though in any given situation, girls will find you attractive.

If the girl is touching you, this is kind of saying it's ok to touch her. Depending on where she is touching you (eg chest), she could be giving you IOI's.

If your not really comfortable using kino, you should try touching her both on the shoulder and the upper arm at first. Only for a second or two every so often. This will be more comfortable for both her and yourself. 

Just do this until you get comfortable with it. Then take baby steps. Firstly touching her shoulder and upper arm then as the conversation continues you can start touching her upper back etc etc. 

Hey Tao,

It sounds like you are doing really well.

I definately know how you feel with the interuptions and stuff, I'm total shit at handling that. Like you I feel like I've been locked out... SJ's advice is really good but hard to do! I think that it will get easier the more confident in yourself you become.

With Kino I have always found that girls are alot more comfortable with it than men tend to think. Use kind of natural things like if you are about to walk with her just hold your elbow out confidently and she will link her arm through... also try to only touch when you are talking as it seems so much more natural. Do it kind of under the radar but not too sly as that can seem sleazy!

Anyway we should hit the town again soon...

Tao, dude, this is really promising stuff. It's only 2 weeks ago that you were worried about approaching. Now you've talked to 4 or 5 hot girls in one night and, by the sounds of it, come off really well. I'm at the stage of getting high-risk numbers too - ones that are likely to flake, it's something we can learn together.

As for people freezing you out, I have a good tactic. People coming and attempting a freeze out are blindingly obvious. You can usually see them coming a mile off. If they start talking to my target, I go Mystery on their ass. I look at them with an expression of incredulity and mild amusement, usually with a big smile on my face and say one of two things:

1) To the target - "Are you going to introduce me to your friend? It's the polite thing to do!"
2) To the obstacle - "Hi, so you know [name] too?"

At this point, offer the handshake. Job done, you've neutralised the obstacle. After this it's a piece of cake. You can play them like a fiddle since you've already established your strong frame which they can see isn't going to change.