Taking Action
 

This hasn’t been the best weekend ever! ive split up with my bird again. This time it doesn’t hurt as much because I know the exact reasons for the break up.
When we got back together after splitting up, i told her i was going to do certain things to better myself as a person. They were simple things like...

• going to the gym
• saving money
• not binge drinking
• being a nicer person

Even though the above list is simple and very achievable I didn’t do any of it. I wasn’t a man and i didnt do what i said i would. i just put it all the back of my mind because i had got my girl back. as a result of not taking action i have lost my girlfriend and feel like a failure.

After speaking with Kowalski he suggested that i make simple daily lists and post them here so i make sure i achieve them.

i need to start taking action even if the lists are things like, go to the gym and eat one peice of fruit. as long as i do what the list says ive done something about my life to improve it.

Like Kowalski said, these lists that I will write down and achieve are my thoughts becoming a reality and changing the world.

I CONTROL AND I CREATE.

I have pasted below a selection of a few threads and posts by me over the past few months. Not a single post or thread that I created or commented on got stuck too. I just forgot about it or was too last to take action.




Top tips for dropping cancer sticks - 08-05-2013, 09:15 AM
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I bought an E Cig this morning and its helping my craving but I I was just wondering if anyone has quit smoking and how they did it?

I was thinking about going on the tablets or patches but I've never really tried giving up before and in struggling





Tour of Europe - 20-02-2013, 09:41 PM
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Ive decided to not go out in Manchester as much from now on and maybe have two weekends off per month to save a little money and spend it on something i want to do. Mancester is starting to get boring and predictable. Me and my mate Danny have decided to try and visit as many places in Europe as we can whilst staying in full time jobs. We will try to visit a different city every month just for the weekend for a chance to explore.

Our main reason for this is because im sick of spending my whole wage getting wasted in manchester and id much rather invest in memorys and experiences.

Over the next few months i will use this thread to keep people up to date on our little trips and let you all know how things go and what i think of the places we visit.

Im not doing this for 'Game' but im sure i will have some awesome field reports on the adventures we will have. im very excited for the European pussy!


First Trip Booked - Brussels, Belguim - 08/03/13 - 11/03/13



Book Worm - 02-04-2013, 11:50 AM
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Ey Up

Just wondering if any of you guys could reccomend me a good read... im not to fussed what the books are about but i want to gain something from reading them. i dont want to read anything where at the end i just think.. Ok that was a good story and never think about it again,

i read 2 books last month and want to do the same this month.

i dont really want to read anything on Pick up and theorys because it doesnt really interest me but anything on self improvement could be quite good.

Im not the sharpest tool in the box so big font and not many pages helps. haha




Motivation to lift - 19-06-2013, 09:05 AM
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About 2-3 years ago i was pretty much addicted to the gym, i would go as oftern as i could and its was one of my favorite things to do. i got int a relationship and stopped going and now im finding it nearly impossible to get off my arse and go. id rather sit in bed fondling my balls.

At the moment i always feel tired and drained and i think this is because im not doing any excerise atall.

when i get into it there wont be a problem. anyone any advice on how to change my mentality or gain energy to motivate me to go?




Saving Money
10-06-2013, 10:38 AM
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i need help with this also, i am terrible with money!

I get paid more than all of my friends by a mile yet 2 weeks into the month and im skint and have to borrow off everyone! im known for being terrible with it.

I spend silly amounts of money on nights out, eating out and general shit that i dont need. i have tried lots of different things to survive the month and it has never worked. i not bothered if by the end of the month i have no money as long as i camn get to the end of the month without borrowing.

I need help guys!!!

My list for today is -

1) I had an argument with a mate on Thursday and I'm going to be the bigger man and arrange a meet to try and rectify the situation. we have been in contact but there is still some tension there.

2) take my dog for her night time walk because I always say I'm too tired and make my mum do it

3) make a start on organising my room so I have a cleaner environment to sleep in

4) drink only water, no tea or coffee just natures juice!

Good to hear mate, I have a similar problem with spending too much, I've started using an app in Chrome to log all my expenditure, it graphs it all out and shows how much I'm spending on booze and food in comparison to bills and shit. Doesn't do any of the saving for you, but once you realise just how much your spending on shite you start becoming more conscious about it.

Though in fairness my solution to it so far has simply been to just earn more money...

Yes.
I would say throw away anything which gives you nicotine as a replacement for conventional cigarettes.

Smoke normally and read Alan Carr stop smoking.
By the end of the book you will stop smoking, well if you believe in what he says, I did.

I read the book 2 years ago and in the first year had a few drags on a ciggy once when very drunk, since then nothing.

Keep up with the postings.

Mark

Money wise theres various ways to control it, personally at the start of my month I pay my bills and stick everything else into a savings account. Then I treat the start of the month like the end of the month.I live on a 10er a week pretty much.
Things that helped me were
saving towards something i desperately want ie a car, so when i can be arsed to cook i have to think do i want to have a chinky or a car!!
Writing down the exact amount of money you are getting and planning where every penny goes and keeping track of it.
Have a planned amount to just blow every month so you don't go mad from thinking you have to scrimp.

I thought that book was bollox tbh it just made me wanna smoke more cos he just kept repeating the same things to the point of boredom. I guess it works for some not for others.
I quit for 3 years on patches and ive been off the fags again a month now using patches and e cig that i was bought.Its the only way ive ever been able to stop ;)
I say go for it Jynx just keep you challenges small and simple, i find i end up giving up if i overload myself 2 quickly.

Yeah mate i think she has, but what can i say.. im in love with the girl. i felt like when we first split up it was confusing and i didnt understand why. when we got back together i told her that i wanted to change in many ways but because we actually got back together none of this took place. even things like tidying my room have poped up because i became to lazy to even do it.

When she would come round for a night in she felt disgusted that she had to sleep in my 'pit'

Telling your girl your going to do something and dont isnt attractive atall, its all come back to bite me in the arse.

With regards to saving money i always start and mean well but i just yet again become lazy and put it to the back of my mind. i always say YES this month i will save but only a week into the month ive started spending irresponsibly.

i need to focus on small things at the minute to help myself get into a routine of having a thought and actioning it. smoking took up alot of my brain power and fond it hard to focus on anything else in my life

Absolutely mate, making too much change in one go just isn't sustainable, making small behaviour amendments will slowly over time improve your habits and overall result in a noticeable big difference to your lifestyle, even if you don't pick up on it straight away. But that's the point really, you need to do it in a way that an ideal behaviour doesn't seem strange to you, and the only way of doing that is to break habits which takes a lot of fucking effort.

Good luck, you got what it takes, you're at a good point where you'll have the motivation to do it too.

A good way to save money is just to become a smarter consumer, look for the best deals, decipher between what is necessary and what is not. I like to be a little 'Anti-capitalist' also, I enjoy walking past a McDonalds untempted and giving a silent but gratifying 'Fuck you' to Ronald as his overweight patrons stare gormlessly out of the window munching on a Big Mac.

Capitalism likes to make you feel insecure that you NEED 'X' product to fill a whole in your life, it's a rigged game that most people sleepwalk through. Smarten up a bit.

I remember a great quote from Tyler Durden in Fight Club;

'Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.'

Sums it up perfectly.

Exactly, i need to just set myself small simple goals which are easily achievable which wouldn’t normally do in my lazy slobish mind-set. The problem is with self-development and making amendments to your behaviour is that it’s a slow process that you want to happen overnight! I need to just stay motivated.

Ive realised that I need to do this for me and not for her. I do have thoughts about me becoming a better man and maybe she would want me back but I keep dismissing it as soon as it comes into my head. Im trying to train myself to ignore any possibility of her wanting me back and im trying to make steps forward to better myself.
She is a cunt but its been hardwired into her by her parents. They have certain beliefs that they have planted into her and she cant help but think what she thinks. Her family are very money orientated and I don’t think I will ever be good enough in their eyes! I think this is for the best.

I might print this out and stick it in my wallet!
I find myself spending money for the sake of it. I will spend money on anything because of boredom or to make myself feel satisfied. If I go in a shop to buy some cigs I will come out with cigs, chocolate and a drink. I cant help myself. On nights out I spend money on buying drinks when im too drunk to drink them because in my head it’s the thing to do!

Yesterday’s list was

1) I had an argument with a mate on Thursday and I'm going to be the bigger man and arrange a meet to try and rectify the situation. we have been in contact but there is still some tension there.

2) take my dog for her night time walk because I always say I'm too tired and make my mum do it

3) make a start on organising my room so I have a cleaner environment to sleep in


4) drink only water, no tea or coffee just natures juice!


I achieved 2,3 and 4 and arranged to meet my friend tonight because he was busy last night.

Today’s list is as follows:

1) Carry on with drinking water and taking the dog for a walk.
2) Go to the gym for an hour minimum
3) Eat 3 pieces of fruit
4) Get work clothes ready tonight and not tomorrow.

Ive been off work with a bad case of the Rodney Trotters for the last 2 days so i havent really completed much of my list.

My list for today will be

1) Drink only Water

2) Meet with my mate in manchester in the sun and have a chat and chat some girls.

3) take the dog for her night time walk

4) Be as positive as possible in any situation

I am looking forward to this weekend now, a chance to go out and experience the world again.

i have nothing holding me back now other than me. Instead of puling every girl in the club i am also going to just work on getting the 9/ 10s to get used to talking to the hottest girls. i dont really have a problem with this now but i alway close the average girls just because its less effort.

A great way to improve your mindset is to pay me back that money. Your karma and mindfulness will improve greatly.

I used to overspend, not to the point where I had no money left but after budgeting more carefully I actually wondered what I had been buying. My motivation was a mortgage deposit and I made an Excel spreadsheet with all direct debits, incidental expenditure and incoming payments, a big balance sheet.

I haven't updated it for a month (tut tut) but it can tell me to the penny what should be in the bank and what I'll have in the future on my current spending and income rate.

Now I just use the cash machine once a week, any leftover cash I put aside to dip into if anything comes up.

Like Hustler25 said, don't buy frivolous items. I haven't ate fast food for years and I used to be a bit of a gadget fiend but get by on what I have.

Where's your posts Jynx! I thought it was daily shit!

Ok, im taking this break up pretty hard!

I found myself out with the Ex mates (due to having the same social circle)

She wasn’t out but all of her close friends were. i didn’t want to show that the break up was getting to me so i tried to hide it. I remember at one point during the night her friends were talking to me about her and i pretended to be on the phone so i could go outside. when outside i punched the wall a few times and bust up my hand and i tipped over one of those massive bins on wheels that’s like the size of a small car. i went back inside like nothing had happened and I was fine.

i crumbled and text her telling her i still love her to a reply which just said i need to move on! Such a pathetic excuse for a man I am!!!!

I went out on Thursday and had a quality night, got with a few girls but I feel that people can sense that theres something not quite right with me. I must be putting across a vibe where im still hung up on the ex and its not good.

This last week ive not been to bad but today im really struggling with the break up. Ive been drinking very heavily and not concentrating on taking action!

I just don’t feel like a good person or a man!!!

This is a new week and a new start!
I want to try and start looking after myself im becoming amess again. I need to start looking after myself and working on my personal apperance

List:

1) Go to the gym
2) Have a sauna and steam
3) Research skin care
4) have a salad and not a chippy!

This break up has hit me like a tonne of bricks, ive nearly been in tears many times already today i just cant hold it together. i want to be sick and i cant get her out of my head.

i was checking her social network profiles constantly and i text her at least 15 times today with no reply.

she finally replied saying i need to leave her alone because ITS OVER!!! she wont budge.

i took action, i unfollowed her on twitter and deactivated my twitter and facebook and deleted my instagram account.

I just want her to text me telling me she loves me and wants to see me but i know its not going to happen!

I cant focus on work and cant get her out of my head atall. personal development seems like the last thing i want to do at the moment. Ive also found that my anxiety is through the roof and i actually feel scared to go to bed on my own so ive been sleeping on the sofa!

She used to live an hour away so when we last broke up it wasnt to bad but now she has friends that im close to and anything she says or does is going to come back to me. i know kowalski says just tell them i dont want to know but it will come back one way or another.

I completed my list from yesterday so today im going to -

1) go home and get changed without sitting down to relax
2) go to my mates and go straight to the gym
3) hour work out
4) not text the devil!

I cant express how much of a bad place i am in at the minute... im skint, i owe out money, shes finished me and wont talk to me, im out of shape and i cant concentrate on work. im in the lowest place ive ever been in and for some reason it feels like its only going to go down hill!!

You'll get over this Jynx. It may not feel like it now but you will. Life is full of ups and downs, you're on a down but there will be an up.

Indeed, how else would you know when things are fantastic if you don't get kicked in the gonads every now and then to know the difference...

Sorry to make light of it, but you will get passed it mate, just stick at it and keep yourself occupied. And really try not to contact her that's only going to make it harder for you.

Hey Jynx, sorry to hear you're feeling poo.

I suffer with cyclothymia (a mild bi-polar) and I remember one time I really wanted to take my own life - I had no money, girl issues, friends being assholes. One night it even came to it that I had a length of rope and a plan. but rather that go and find a tree I turned to some dependable friends.

It didn't get better quickly but it did get better. Now I'm married to the kind of girl I've always wanted and living in Montreal and about to start back at University all out of debt and happy.

I still think back to that day when I was at my lowest because I know if I can get through that I can get through anything. Just keep that in mind - you'll get through this and you can get through anything

Yesterday’s list!

1) go home and get changed without sitting down to relax
2) go to my mates and go straight to the gym
3) hour work out
4) not text the devil!

I finished work got straight home and got changed, had some food and went to the gym and completed an hours shoulders work out. I felt much better and was lifting well due to me taking my frustrations out on the weights.

Im feeling a little better today not too sure why but I didn’t make any contact with her after I posted my list yesterday.

I love this girl more than anything but I need to prove I really love her and respect her decision. if its what she wants I need to man up and let it be. I will bump into her sooner or later and I now need to just think about my reactions when this happens.

I have been listening to the the of charm podcast episode called – Over Her Overnight!

Its awesome it has tips and techniques on how to run through the heart break process as quickly as possible.

I think a lot of my depression in the last two days came from the come down of the weekend.
Ok so list today!

1) Gym
2) Drinking water
3) Cinema with mates
4) Sleep by 11pm

Thanks for all your responses too lads!

2 & a half years ago I was where you are, absolutely devastated over a girl. I know exactly how it feels to not be able to sleep or eat or concentrate on anything. At one point when it was all still pretty fresh, all I could see for 2 or 3 weeks was her face, I was in a deep trance of turmoil.

How did I deal with it? I hit the drink for 3 months. Bad idea, I could actually feel physical internal pain & was definitely doing damage by drinking so much.

But I didn't have anything else going on, no job or hobbies. You seem to have a lot of that going on which is good for you.

Keep occupied. Drink little. And you should stay away from drugs of any kind.

Pickup Podcast – Episode #176: Dan Dennick, OverHerOvernight.com

Great listen

If he comes down here he better be doing both of those things! Not having Jynx ordering a soda water whilst I'm doing coke off a hookers tits.

That's all well & good & it sounds like fun but drugs aren't gunna help him at all.

Where he's at mentally right now, things like amphetamines might temporarily make him feel good, but they could also send him into overdrive.

If he gets amphetamine psychosis - which is very possible given his current emotional instabilities - it can happen in an instant. He'll start to imagine he can hear this girl when he's out, so he'll go looking for her & start fights with random guys he's never met before because he thinks they are hiding her, he'll imagine that everyone is looking at him & talking about him because this girl is in the toilets blowing someone, he'll think she is following him around & banging people near to where he is but not within view, he might even hear it.

And that's just scratching the surface of what amphetamine psychosis can do to you, & amphetamine psychosis is not just for one night, I've experienced psychotic nightmares for up to 3 weeks.



Jynx, if you take pills or coke or whatever during this emotional thump your experiencing, you put yourself at risk of this kind of thing.

You're right. This is actually spot on.

I'm not saying it would definitely happen to him, but what's specific to him is that she is on his mind all the time.

If you're thinking about someone or something constantly while off your tits, there is the possibility that you'll start to make up theories & shit in your head of what's going on, especially if you are taking strong or high amounts of amphetamine with hallucinogenic effects.

Again, yes that's my personal experience but I'm only pointing out that it's a possibility, no matter how big or small.

Don't do drugs, unless its with me.

savings
 

I've started using an app in Chrome to log all my expenditure, it graphs it all out and shows how much I'm spending on booze and food in comparison to bills and shit. Doesn't do any of the saving for you, but once you realise just how much your spending on shite you start becoming more conscious about it.

D!ce , whats this app called?? it could be useful.

GoodRebel

That the first step is to completely accept its over! Acceptance in key to moving on!

I've not totally accepted this yet because you always have a hope that things will work out but I've accepted it enough that I know it's time to move on.

I watched a YouTube video of Tyler from RSD where he explains that his greatest journeys as a man come from a break up. It gives you the drive and motivation to take action instead of putting that effort into your girlfriend you and directing it towards yourself.

He isn't afraid of breaking up with a girl because it excites him knowing he will be going onto a whole new adventure

Turning a negative into a positive. I try to do this all the time, & most of the time I'm successful at it.

But a breakup exciting you because it's gunna be an adventure?

That's just awesome. Tyler is awesome.

Could go either way.

Jynx are you still coming?

A holiday away from all the familiar sights and anchored feelings would be good for you, doctor's orders.

I too can say thanks to a bitch being a bitch I discovered this pickup shizz, & this forum.

We should be grateful to bitches for being the bitches that turned us from being bitches into cool ass motherfucking alpha male non-bitches.

Yes girls ruining you definitely makes u a better man if u move past it.

Haha I've not! Just very busy at the moment! I've not even spoken to her

Friday 26th & Saturda 27th July
Last Friday I had the Friday feeling so bad, I called Kes and was like Dude were out tonight!!

Got to his apartment in the city centre for about 6pm and started on a few beers. We cracked the music up and had a proper laugh. We were talking about everything and anything and had a real fun vibe going on.
Before we even left the apartment everything seemed to be clicking into place, we went to a bar called Tribeca across from his and chatted the bar women because we talk to them all the time. This was so much fun. Outside I got some girls number in like 2 seconds by literally handing her my phone and not saying anything.

We went on to Spinningfields. For the guys who don’t know about it.. spinningfields is a new development in the city centre, it has awesome bars and outside areas with masses of hot girls and awesome people.
On the way I noticed kes was taking for ever to close anything, so I thought id show him how it was done. We walked past the coach station and two cute girls walked out with suitcases so I walked over said Hi then kissed her. She gave me her number and text me a few times during the night to go and meet her. I was having far to much fun to leave what I was doing to go see her.

Normally I wouldn’t be arsed about long interactions that Kes was having but the whole point of the night was to bounce about and have fun.
We arrive at spinningfields and get chatting to a group of girls, one fo them was married but I didn’t care. Ended up rubbing her pussy whilst she kissed my ear.

Later we got talking to a group of girls, one of them I thought was really fit but she was being so cold. I chatted to her mates and they pretty much said to her that shes needs to get on me.
At the end of the night she walked over and grabbed me and we start kissing. Kes goes home with some chick whilst I sort out the logistics for mine. She had to go so arranged to meet up the next day.

The next day me and one of my mates go to spinningfields again to meet her. Shes on her own and looks fucking gross… I couldn’t believe it. I must have been so drunk the night before. Anyway she said her mate was coming to meet us so we hung on for like 4 hours just chilling. During this time my mate kept on saying to me… Her mate best be fit, cant be arsed being stuck with a fatty.

Her mate arrives and shes a whale of a girl…. She was out the night before so I knew but didn’t want my mate to get off haha. She introduced herself to my mate and he just says, FUCK THIS IM OFF!!
He walks off and texts me saying BAIL! My girl goes in the toilet so this was the perfect opportunity to bounce. I know this is bad but I had to go, I was drunk and it was awkward.

At the minute ive just been having a blast on nights out and really self amusing myself to the point where I get in a lot of trouble like the old jynx.

Ive got a field report to write up about self amusement and the funniest way ive ever been kicked out of a club.

Out again tonight with kes!

FR tomorrow x

P.S im writing this at work and haven’t got much time so probs doesn’t sound to good

Had a good weekend, got with a few girls got very drunk and had a laugh.

ill post a propper field report as one of my list for tomorrow.

Todays List -

1)Eat 4 Peices of fruit at work

2)Go to meditation and write a rerport of what i gained/ learned from it

3)meet up with Sam/ Shak because hes back from his year in germany for 1 week before he dissapears for a month

After this weekend i have felt really depressed, i dont know if its due to a poor diet, not enough sleep or just general depression over my ex.

my dad asked me if everything was ok this morning so it must be showing.

Life is tough but im a fighter and im going to turn this shit around.

im only happy when im out and drunk! i dont think about any of my problems!

Great to hear you setting yourself targets mate, let us know how they go too though, it will be good to track your progress with them, and keep up some momentum!

I totally understand that.

Ok i need to understand this whole thread is named Taking Action, by posting on this thread daily with my lists im already taking action even if i fail 1 or 2 from my daily lists.

i need to actually make the lists and put them on here to actually acomplish my lists!

I have arranged to go to meditation with Sam tonight which should be awesome!