I was talking to the woman I met up with for a few more weeks and it became clear she wanted more than just a friendship, I never reciprocated her flirting or suggested I wanted anything more, but I wasn't very clear to be honest, even though I had said when we met that we should just be friends.

She kept asking to talk on the phone, as we were mostly texting and using whatsapp, I kept putting off talking on the phone and meeting up again, mostly because I have been busier than usual lately, but also because I was not THAT interested in either. She eventually asked if there was a problem and I was honest and told her I felt she was becoming attached and that I felt there was nothing more than friendship there.

She was clearly quite annoyed by this and went on a bit of a rant to which there was nothing I could say without getting into an argument, so I didn't engage and we haven't spoken since, that was on friday before last.

Also the girl I have known for years who I mentioned in my first post, who I was pretty much in love with for a long time, asked me recently if I would still want a relationship with her. I told her no, this kind of thing has come up several times over the years and I have found it is little more than an ego boost for her and me getting my hopes up. This will never go anywhere and I really don't even want it any more. We are still friends and have met up again since and it is so much better to just be friends with her.

I have for many years now been on various dating sites and I have decided they are something that is holding me back. It's just so much easier to be on them browsing through photos and messaging from the safety of my home. But I asked myself do I actually really want to talk to any of these girls? Do I really know if there is any real attraction there? The answer to both was no. These sites are just tools of avoidance for me, I really hope I don't go back to them.

I should be talking to girls I am attracted to that I actually meet, communicating with them in person and finding out in seconds whether there is anything there, not waiting weeks to find out.