OK the following is intended to help:
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Went on a date/met a woman I have been talking to via text for a month and a half.
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Long run up you took there. It's ok more experienced guys taking time with texting if either party flakes out for a bit, bit be careful you're not dragging it out through fear and anticipation.
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She talked about getting me new clothes and a haircut and getting me to the gym, which is very off putting, I don't like people trying to control or change me and would never let that happen. She is fun to hang out with though and attractive, I just get the vibe of a kind of master and apprentice thing, where she wants to control how I am and make me suitable for her.
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Well…not to be blunt, but do you look a mess? It's not uncommon with newbies, I've met one or two with pathetic style and gross personal hygiene.
On the control thing, she has no choice because she knows you are not comfortable with leading. Her mothering side is driving her attraction to you but eventually this will fizzle out if she is somewhat normal.
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We didn't kiss or anything, although she suggested we go into a service at an evangelical church and start making out in the middle of the service. Luckily there was no service on at the time, as I was not really up for that.
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That's fun, you should have totally done it!
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I feel like if anything were to happen it would be on her terms, with her in control and I don't think I am comfortable with or interested in that kind of relationship.
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That's the point. You use control to keep anything you don't want to acknowledge abut yourself under wraps. Been there. It's why she is irritating you and you are pushing her away.
She does sound like a bundle of drama but for me it's not about that, it's about who you are and who you are trying to become.