So last night, manz got laid. It's not too much to write up about because it was literally the easiest lay in the world. But I'll write a back story and drama so you boys don't feel like you came for nothing.

I go to the zoo in the evening they've got some festivities going on (beer, bitches, baboons). In the evening my boy calls me up saying he wants to have a mad night out, so I go back to mine and my roommate is playing beer pong: so the festivities begin.

We get pretty drunk and headout looking for a place to go. It's like 1:30 am when we walk past Catch. We need to find some peeps so we go past find them and then go back. At this point it's 2:09 and the guy says no go. As we're planning where to go, I see two lads from my course outside the bar talking to two chicks. I walk over just to say hello and end up inviting them all back to mine.

Throughout the whole journey back this one petite Singaporean/Philippine chick is like constantly at my side like a dog. We get to my gate and everyone but the girl leaves becauseshe wants to come in "to use the toilet". She uses the toilet then we go upstairs to my room and the deed is done. At one of the breaks she asks my name and tells me shes 35...well thats something to tick off the list.

Later on after a bit of forking, she goes super weird and tells me she has stds, she's clearly saying it to just get a reaction. At this point I stop all the advances she makes and tell her "you're 35 years old, surely you have the maturity to not say that shit". She responds "but it's fun". I thought they were supposed to get more mature as they get older. She then admits that she was making it up to teach me a lesson for having sex with so many people...I ask her how many times she thinks I've had sex she says 20.

I am now finding an open clinic. Fucking weirdo.