The things written here are stuff I struggle with. I've only just realised within the last year or so that I'm a perfectionist; I suffer from "perfectionism". When I say I only just realised this; I mean I realised perfectionism is not a good thing. I've known I've been a perfectionist for years, but it was something i prided myself on because I thought it was a good thing. In 6.5 years at my last job i was very proud of the fact I only made 2 big cock up I can think of. My work was always perfect, and of the highest quality every single time.

If it wasn't I'd beat myself up and re-do it.....a lot of times I'd go way & above what was needed. This is what I do in other things - if I'm not a master at everything, I'm a failure (well, that's a bit extreme but its true). I have totally unrealistic standards of myself, if I don't reach them, I'm a pretty much a failure in my eyes, And of course, I never reach them.

I'm also a gigantic procrastinator, which I know know is because of perfectionism. I'm pretty sure I;m a "all or nothing"/ "black or white thinker" - if I can't do it perfectly or amazingly well....I won't do it for fear of failure. Examples would include not studying my final year at Uni because i wanted top grades but deep down knew that was a bit out of reach, not talking to women unless they immediatly like me, not trying to stop smoking unless I can quit cold turkey immediatly. Of course I know reading these examples they are laughable and stupid, but thats the way I think.

I'm ashamed to say, and saddened for myself that I am the left hand side of this image, i wish I could be the right. I'll avoid challanges through fear of failure, generally react very badly to and take criticism to heart (whilst probably auto filtering out any positive praise or aspects). I'm not threatened by the success of othersl but admittedly i look at them and can feel jealous & think "Why can't I be like that" or "I'll never be like that".

Total post hijack probably, but what I wrote there is just what came into my head when I saw that picture. At least I'm self aware of all the above, something I wasn't before. That might be the first step to trying to fix it.