A lot of stuff on this thread was well said. And it had to be said because we wouldn't be helping if we didn't say it.

But one thing I would say is I was quite a fan of American idol and x factor. The reason for that was 1) you need talent to start with 2) it takes a lot of courage to go from relative obscurity to facing an audience of millions on TV and perform live and 3) there is no hiding place, the stage is a lonely place for your ego. It's like a boxing ring. You are on your own.

Doesn't that sound familiar! For most guys walking up to a girl and showing that they like her and exposing themselves emotionally, putting themselves on the line seems to them to be too much to handle. And a girl quite rightly is not interested in a guy that doesn't have the self-confidence to do that. And she is interested, at least initially, in a guy who does have the self-confidence to do that. Then said boy and girl can see what's what. IMO it's beautifully elegant. Unlike online dating which is a strange game.

I admire talent, musical or otherwise, I admire courage of any kind, so I was a fan of those shows. I'm passionate about music and the people who dedicated themselves to it. So it is a good topic for me when interacting with girls. But I never see the shows cause I'd rather go out and let them tell me what it's about. I think it's that kind of thing where the OP missed the point. But it's an easy mistake to make, we've all done it.

But not in an inauthentic way.

You can take a message from these shows that you have to be brave if you want to achieve your dreams or at least give yourself a chance.