I thought about this recently. Since I was really young I wanted to learn to play a musical instrument and play in a band. I learned the guitar. It took 5 years to get good.

I was more interested in music than I was in girls. I gigged in amateur bands. It kept me going. I wanted to write music but realised I had no talent for it.

I can still play but don't feel the need to do it too often. I've no regrets about all the time and money I sank into that. But it didn't get me a woman. Pursuing jobs and money and moving around didn't get me a woman either.

You do come to the conclusion the change has to be from within. The ego puts up it's elaborate defences to making that change.

I always wanted to learn to be good with women. And now I'm as interested in that as I used to be in music. Life was slipping past. I felt as if I'd failed as a man somehow.

Learning this shit is keeping me going. It's something challenging to do. I would feel worse not doing anything about it.

You only get one life so use it how you want to use it. Then you can have no regrets. Half the battle is knowing how you want to use it.

Dickens summed it up: No space of regret can make amends for one life misused.