A lot of people do this. Listen to peoples idle conversation. It usually starts with one person saying something they saw or heard, then the other person applying it to themselves.
You'll often get this happening over and over, subconsciously people find this frustrating.
Here's the sort of conversation I notice all the time:
Quote:
Sue: "I went to see the new anchorman on the weekend."
Bob: "Cool. I didn't do much this weekend."
Sue: "Yeah, it wasn't as good as the first one though."
Bob: "Ooh I loved the first one. I love all of Will Ferrel's movies"
Sue: "Apart from that I didn't do much, apart from going shopping on Sunday"
Bob: "Yeah, I'm skint so I just stayed in with a few beers"
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If you really want to build rapport with people, instead of repeatedly turning the conversation to yourself and overlaying your reality onto theirs, try making a conscious effort to continue the conversation with regards to their experience, or just discuss the subject in it's own right. Like this:
Quote:
Sue: "I went to see the new anchorman on the weekend."
Bob: "Cool. Was it any good?"
Sue: "Yeah, it wasn't as good as the first one though."
Bob: "Yeah, the first one was a cool movie wasn't it."
Sue: "Apart from that I didn't do much, apart from going shopping on Sunday"
Bob: "So, a fun weekend of self indulgence then! Sounds cool. I didn't do much, just..."
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The person you're talking to feels more like you've listened to what they have said, instead of overlaying your reality over the top of theirs. They will then be more open to listening to you talk about yourself for a bit.
Solving subconscious habits like selfishness requires you to focus on them, bringing them into your conscious awareness so that you can change them. Eventually, conscious changes will become subconscious and you'll have made that change.