Okay here's three more field reports. Trying this new style of writing as I feel now I actually have more interesting nights, before I was like "Uh I stood in club drunk and scared and said Hi to girl", now I am an active protagonist in my little story, seizing the sword.

Thursday

Im dressing up as a surfer again to go to a Halloween house party, I get there and I was nervous if I would actually 'get speaking to anybody' and enjoy myself rather than maintaining conversation with anyone to look like Im having a decent time, but I've learnt time and time again that this is a natural response from me and I have the self-efficacy to turn up and make it happen.

Funny to think I do actually have anxieties about large groups, meetings and stuff like that and I love pick-up. So its chatting around, getting slightly drunkerer, a girl at the party I liked didn't speak to her much. I guess I shouldn't hit on every single girl but I had a minute long conversation with her and it was pretty mundane on my part. Bad habit of mine.

End up making a few friends over how wasted we get then me and my friends were doing Borat impersonations when this guy actually believed I was some Borat-esque person. So I spent a ridiculous amount of time shouting "I from Czech, donkey make good pet and wife! Lets heet weeman!", and he spent so long trying to teach me 'the ways of the English'. I made him neck vodka neat constantly under the threat of offending my people.

We hit town to some right shit hole of a bar which the host loves. It was absolute shite. I did two approaches and one was casual chat, could tell she was awkward when a girl I knew went "Get in there Barney", I looked at her and said "Yeah, I'll see you later". Got into an argument with the DJ as he wouldn't play NSYNC or JB and he threatened to get the bouncers to beat me up.

Then we went to an even shitter bar, like I can't even explain how shit it was, I tried to piss in the girls toilets when I said "Hi, you come here" to some girl and she's lurrvin it. Straight away she says "I think I saw you in the other club and thought you were hot",
"That sounds like me", I reply.

So we get chatting, she wants my number, I give it to her, make out, then I say lets go upstairs and she goes back to her friends and she says she'll come home with me tonight. At the end of the night, I can't see her in the club, so I go get some food and her friends see me and say "Where is she?", "Who", "Blah Blah", "Oh I dunno", then I look at the guy-friend, he's going for his phone to ring her, you can fuck right off, I whip out my phone, a contest to who can ring her first.

I look at my screen and she's ringing me, I tell her to come here and she says she's on her way. As I leave the food place to see where abouts she is when I see two passed out guys who had been fucking attacked and she was tending to them. People were shouting "MEDIC!! MEDIC!! GET A FUCKING AMBULANCE", I see the guy-friend is there obviously not wanting me to take her home.

I walk up to her, she's checking this guy's pulse, his head is on the curb, I say "He's not moving, his eyes are closed and he's not responding to anything. I'm sure he's fine, let's go". She didn't see my logic. I see the guy-friend ready to block, people screaming, her in the epicentre of it all. I just go home.

Oh and the blonde girl I mentioned in my last report who never acknowledges me is outside smoking and she's like "Ohhh because of you the common room is closed down!" smiling and laughing. The night before I smoked inside the common room drunk and it did not go down well, but she's like "I told them you didn't mean to and it was a half-accident", then the guy next to her takes a picture of me 'for evidence', I tell him to keep that for his wank bank.

Funny how doing something completely cunt-ish had her speaking to me haha, not saying she was attracted or anything but one of those things.

On reflection I could have waited it out and handled the cock-sucker, but i dunno waiting around to then deal with lots of bullshit seemed a little degrading, like 'Am I really going through this much to get a lay?', I guess it should be reframed as 'going after what you want' but she wasn't THAT hot.

I liked being Borat for the night.