Halloween Wednesday
I'm lying in bed around 8pm feeling depressed thinking to myself "Fuck this
pua shit maayyn" and my lack of results. But I trench my body out, have a few drinks in my room, a shower and start getting dressed for a Halloween party.
I decide on 'surfer' because all I have in my room is a wetsuit that connotes anything remotely like fancy dress. So I have to put all my money, cards and keys inside my suit. Have a quick chat with a mate over Facebook and we come up with a few good lines about my suit:
"Hey does this feel skintight to you?"
"Does this sculpt my bum really well?"
"Hey I need to get this wet, wanna help?"
HarHarHar. Mosey on down to the common room feeling like I can't even utter a word to single soul in the world and soon enough I'm talking and its all good baby, baby. Get chatting to some girl, she has a boyfriend, i say "Shame". Now I'm getting quite drunk and telling some girl I've been mates with since day 1 of university "I'd fuck you 5 times a day if you were my girlfriend" and judging the guy seeing in a morally defunct way. Then she's touching my dick and I'm feeling her boobs to compare the "fabric" of our costumes. This isn't some tactic or maneuver , I move in odd ways.
So I head on out to the club by myself to catch up with some people I guessed would be in the club as I had no phone. Two girls standing in the street, both well hot, "Hi there, good night?", and we're off. I have this weird thing where the first few approaches of the night are generally the best and although I stopped getting numbers, I think I should start doing it again as it would help make these interactions become more fruitful.
I start talking about my goldfish which is pretty standard for me and all of a sudden they know my mate (he ate it and I put it on Facebook) they're like "I know this guy who ate it OMG!!" and he then randomly appears out of nowhere and is like "yo Barney these girls are strippers!". I love the randomness I attract. One of them got annoyed because I said stripping is like prostitution. Long story short, she took it out of context, I don't think I actually said it but didn't deny saying it but this is a thing I seem do a lot. Funnily enough she wasn't angry just bugged by it in a surprisingly playful way. Go figure.
In a club, chatting, I think I say "hi" to some girls and the ugly one is ENRAGED by it. She spends about fifteen minutes fueled on telling everyone and going up to people , poking them, pointing at me in a fury. Hmmmm.
On the way upstairs I get speaking to a girl I see around a lot, shit place to start the conversation, she's verbally seeming not interested but the smiles and eyes tell different. Plus she stopped to go for her shit-piss and talk with me is a big IOI personally. But then I get semi-cockblocked by some guy who makes it awkward, I say Ill see you around. I should have followed this up properly.
Get speaking to two girls on the stairs on the way down, bit of banter, for the rest of the night they smile and say hi when we walk passed one another.
At the bar I get a vodka redbull and the barmaid scratches my beard and goes "here you go you bearded man".
Me: "I see you around uni (which is true) Im Barney"
Her: "Really? I havent seen you"
Me: "Don't lie, and make this a double for free"
Her: "No"
Me: "Please"
Her: "No" *she puts an extra shot in it and smiles*
Wtf how did that work, I thought I was being a drunken asshole. Bingo.
Next club as soon as I get in some girl goes "Barney!!", I have no idea who she is but she describes something or other and it's clear we have met before, I guess her name, wrong, I move on. Coulda stuck in there more I guess. From here Im quite drunk and don't remember everything in its entirety.
My goal of the night was "To stick in set and to isolate", fuck escalation, closing etc, just pure spending time with them and isolating (not that I wont escalate but not to focus at all on it). I get speaking to some cute girl somehow. Boom, chatting, get close, take hand, eye contact, I turn her around so she's facing away from her friends (credit: Jaz) and then isolate her a bit further into the dancefloor. Make out etc etc but soon her fat friend dragged her away. I knew I should have isolated-er-er her more and took her somewhere we can be alone or outside. Or ignored her friend when she came over haha.
I see the two crazy girls from the week before who I weirdly like lets call them "The Lovebunch", for some reason I feel like they'll be like recurring characters such as Newman in Seinfeld. One of them (the one I like more) seems pleased but the other whilst all bantery is still a cunt. As The Cunt drags says to DaddyIssues to move on, DaddyIssues sticks her tongue in my mouth like a dipping motion then goes. Not sure of the content of my words and actions.
Btw in the wetsuit its fucking annoying trying to go for a piss! I have to take off my entire torso with all my shit fall off and then have to ask someone to zip it for me. At the bar I ask this girl to zip me up, i always see her around and she's hot, but she's quite rude, making grimaces, and not really responding to chit-chat. Oh how funny The Game is. One minute some girls sticking her tongue down my throat, barmaid giving me a free shot and here I am talking to a girl not even up for small talk.
Or maybe she had witnessed any of the events , or just seen me dancing like a muppet :P Or arguing with the DJ because he wont play NSYNC and call him a shit iTunes, actually i didnt say that but I will!
Not too much happened after this that I can remember. Think I tried or did kiss some girl. Meh who knows.
Went back to apartment building and saw a few friends, I call my black friend Craig David, he calls me Popeye and I call my Turkish friend Borat, He gets annoyed and tries to get into a debate about who gets more girls, so I lied and said I've had more than him. I don't consider it lying, more "telling the truth in a non-chronological order". On reflection i should have just AMOG'd him back by saying I don't find my self-esteem in finding out if I've had sex with more girls than other guys. Or just not been a racist cunt. Racist horseplay, faux-racism, I love diversity.
I actually love that Craig David guy, I think me and him would make great party animal wing men. There was also this Finnish blonde girl there who ignores me when I say "Hi" but friendly to everyone else. Kind of odd. I think I will neg her, "Oh you're very attractive. Attractive girls are always annoying", "Your inferior intellect is infatuating", ya know.
On the way to my room some girl is in just her T-shirt knocking on a door. I probably make some lame ass comment then I turn around and start talking to her, we both acknowledge we've heard of each other around, I go for the hug and she says "NO handshake first, then we hug", she does a really weird handshake that I'll take as playfulness then we hug, I hug-pick-up her (which is standard for man-girl hugs). I think I've put in a few SOI's and shit, I was working on getting her to come back to mine to fuck but as soon as I have her mid-air in the hug, her boyfriend's friend appears. Fuck this shit, I leave.
Epilogue
On the way to uni I remember there's a strike on with the teachers, I see my teacher and she explains it all. I say "Are you going to beat up the children of the scabs?", she casually replies that they haven't got that kind of support yet.
Uhhh wut. And I spend about 10minutes talking about scabs and violence as she tries to tell me important issues. Nothing to do with pick-up I just thought it was funny :P