Let me give you 2 scenarios that happened tonight (Thursday, JJs in Crawley).

Scenario 1 - Polish girl, nice figure, nice face, just nice
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She and her friends are doing some crazy dancing off to the side of us. I look on then go up to her, implement Claw, and say 'after that dancing, I'm not really sure what to say'. She starts laughing, we exchange names. I try to dance with her, but her dancing is too crazy - she is like the Energizer bunny. Eventually I tire of this and say 'find me when a slow song comes on!'

BUT......

Her friends leave, and she hangs back for about 5 minutes in close proximity. On her own. Eventually she leaves. And when she is leaving, I realise I have missed the boat.

Scenario 2 - Lady in Red
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I catch a cutie in a red dress looking at me, the moment I spot her she smiles and looks away.

Brain to SmileyK: 'Approach her!'

But I didn't; I hesitated, then the moment was gone.

Later on, she is dancing in close proximity with her friends. This happens twice. There are no other guys approaching. Surely I have to try. But nope, I pussy out, and eventually she goes off somewhere else and ends up with another guy.

What was common in both scenarios? FEAR.

The fear in Scenario 1 - I didn't know how to deal with a high-energy chick, and bailed out even though she was interested.

The fear in Scenario 2 - I didn't want to approach and be rejected.

This is what I was thinking.

Driving back home, I realised the ridiculousness of these situations. There were SO many chodes in this club just standing around, and so many girls not getting approached, that any guy with balls (even little ones) would have bossed it.

Don't get me wrong - overall the night was good, talked to a couple of girls, usual stuff. But these 2 particular scenarios highlighted one of my current sticking points - fear of loss, i.e. the girl walking away.

BUT

How do you know what is going to happen if you haven't even tried??

And that is what I get annoyed at myself about.

At the moment I'm try to focus solely on the process, rather than the outcome, and this is paradoxical because by worrying about rejection I am focusing on the outcome!
On reflection, I realise what needs to be done next time:

Scenario 1 - assert my reality, do not be unfazed!

Scenario 2 - just approach! It doesn't matter what happens, it is another reference experience.

I know that with each rejection, I give a shit a little less. So therefore I should not be scared of rejection, but rather embrace it.