Right here goes another report

Friday 17th Febuary

At this stage of last week i was obv still not in the best of states.It was a dead suck ass night.The only thing that happened was that Backup begged me to stay,i said ok but i didnt want to be late as i was tired.So when i wanted to go i warned her then told her 3 times.She was so pissed she lost her bag,so i found it gave it to her and grabbed her to go,she was like i just wanna stay for a fag,Well i was about to lose the plot,however i said firmly,"i told you i wanted to go early,ive told you 3 times im going!! im not waiting round like a chump when i said i wanted to go" then walked off and left her.I went home getting and ignoring her many calls and texts.This is a departure for me as before i would have hung round all night tired hoping i would get laid,instead i demostrated that i wasnt gona be messed about and that i was higher value

Saturday 18th Febuary

Wow what a night.
I was expecting total deadness being one of the last saturdays of the month.But town was packed and i got into state pretty quickly.Very early on i bumped into a bunch of lads from my class in school (it was one of their 30th birthdays) i hadnt seen a few of them in 14yrs!! Wow it soon became appartent that most were fatter,balder and chodier than school.A few were married with kids and a few hoplessly going nowhere.It became aparent to me i was not fat or bald or doing as badly as a lot of these guys!! considering i was the fat ginger kid at school who got bullied they were all full of compliments for me,which i really appreciated.My m8 Bob said your pretty much the happiest guy here and you drinking water haha he also asked how every woman that walks by i seem to know?? i just shrugged my shoulders and winked
I spent a lot of the night trying to get a beautiful goth girl id been talking to on facebook,but everytime i relocated with her someone butted in/got in the way, isolating was a total nightmare all night.I had her pissing herself lauging and was very full on with kino but after several fruitless hours trying on and off,so guy who had been bothering her turned up when i wasnt around and she left cos of him ggrr
I opened loads this night and by the time i was about to leave i was talking to pretty much all and everyone,a really good one i remeber was Aerosmith love in an elevator being played on the sound system i was hanging in the beer garden singing along so im like "living it up when your going down" randomly to a tall blonde that passes by (god knows why i used this as an opener but ah well??) she looks confused and says "living it up??" i shake my head at her and say "going down" and chuckle,her and her m8s piss themselves.
Anyways at about half 1 everyone wants to go chill out (smoke pot) at a m8s,i reluctantly leave with them.Bad move we go to the pissed chodes house who put free style jazz on which did my nut in
So at about 3 me and Bob are like fuck this enoughs enough weve got to go to blah blah (bullshit excuse here) and he and his gf head home i drop round backups.

Thoughts

I realized on saturday meeting the guys from school I AM NOT DOING THAT BAD!!!!!!!!! the depression has faded away since that night.None of those guys are doing what im doing and i realized i have grown in the right direction in the last 6 months,but obv being inpatient its not quick enough for me haha
I have decided to stop moping and DO something im selling all the crap in my flat trying to get some cash together as well as having less stuff to move with where ever that may be.I think stripping back and living by the basics again is going to be beneficial as well as giving me some money for a deposit etc.

Intent

I deffo should off/could off got laid on saturday however i didnt take the risks or go for the kill.I moved in talked kinoed and made a few laugh.My new goal is to push for more,go for the kiss/lay and accept more that you will fail but you will learn.Im heading the right way saturday proved that but more work needed

More Crap News

My work took all the staff in for a meeting on monday and explained they were moving to smaller premises in june and there would be jobs going.I deffo feel i will be in the firing line as im on probation till the middle of march,its easier to get rid of me for free that to keep me and pay of someone with severance pay!!
With that in mind im thinking more and more of heading up north to cumbria for a new start,plus while im out of work its gona be easier to live with my parents.So im going to give my months notice on my flat,ive also had to cancel mma and gym etc its crappy but i need as much money in pocket till i know im in a stable financial situation