Lovefish, you sound like you're dangerously close to falling into a relationship with Backup or at least leading her to believe it is becoming one...

As for the not affording the food thing I would suggest frozen veg (always cheap) Tescos and Asda do frozen chicken breasts for £5, iceland do lean mince for £2 and if you need fresh veg then greengrocers and fruit & veg market stall make that very reasonable! I can do a whole weeks shop of healthy food incl. lots of protein for £20 or less when I'm skint, pm me if you need details.

Don't worry about the low feeling too, I go through a peaks and troughs and I usually find it came from relying on other people to deliver, the happiest I have been is when I sorted myself out with what I wanted to do. Yeah some of my friends were there but I would have gone without them and I sometimes did...

Decide what makes you happy then do it!