Right now this week.
Friday 3rd Febuary
It was my m8s birthday so i headed out late after work decent night pretty quiet,fucked backup,She didnt get up for work on saturday cos she wanted to stay in bed with me!! She said she just wanted a quiet dvd night in i was like thatd be nice i cant be arsed going out actually.
Saturday 4th Febuary
I pop round back ups for a quiet dvd night and theres a bunch of people there?!
her m8 from the navy (fat chode) and Nick the pot head:s
I said what happened to our dvd night?? oh my m8s not back for long,so i was like ok whatever.
Apparently Phantom her ex and m8 are out in town,so we all go to meet em (not that i want to:S).
I get to the pub and very quickly become uncomfortable (always do around Phantom
) i talk to her ex for a bit he seems pretty cool tho all he seems to do is waffle on about his job and how much money he make BORING!! so after a half hour of feeling like my state is nose diving into the ground i tell backup to give me the keys to her flat and i go sit in the flat on my own feeling sorry for myself
I start to chill out a bit and just as im thinking i might head back into town to see everyone they come back looking slightly worse for wear.
Fat chode seems to be trying everything he can to get into back up so i tell him to chill the fuck out or ill throw him out (not cos i was bothered cos she asked me to!!) Anyways long story short Phantoms ex and me seemed to get on tho he had the strong sense of reality i tbh cos i was tired just chilled out did talk loads,tried to hold court almost and watched the mayhem unfold.Highlights were me backup and Phantom all getting off with each other,Phantom giving me a hand job in the toilet
,Fat chode leaving then ringing backup of which backup put the phone on load speaker so we could all hear then me and Phantoms ex asking her to ask him really personal questions (ie dya want me to suck you dick lol
.He said i was arrogant and she should go out with him etc she ended up saying everyone was gone when we hadnt and when he came back over she got off with Phantom in his face of which he stormed out again,really mean but funny.However the end of the night went down hill majorly,i heard Phatoms ex and back up talking about getting and taking coke soon, of which i said previously i dont want to spend anytime around women on hard drugs,Phantoms ex walked Phantom home not me!! (hoping she would stay over!!) back up got so fucking blitzed to the point i felt like i was baby sitting her and when i wanted to sleep she want being a total knob and not letting me so i was like fuck this im going home.
things just really really grated me a lot.
Thoughts
.Back ups gone properly gone i cant be doing with that shit ive got enuff of my own.I will stay m8s but thats it.(fucking no wank febuary 2 ffs!!)
.Im going to the gym properly now with my personal trainer (god it hurts constantly
)Im taking it very seriously and trying my best with the eating but its a struggle. So my week goes like this mon wed fri gym tues thurs teach myself to break dance sat sun mma which is a good set of things to do as they seem to compliment each other and all something i want to do.
.Im thinking of missing going out for a few weeks as im struggling to get in a pattern with the eating and sleeping well i really need to get that stuff down as its very important and im very aware im good at quiting stuff and this simply isnt an option!! tho being no wank feb in not so sure i will now
