Hah!
Ok this is all great but not really the whole point of my question.
I do know all this stuff, in the back of my mind, the real question is how do I overcome my mental block? Consciously I can see the IOI's and jude the situation, and I know she wants me. Subconsciously I don't believe its possible she could want me and its a brick wall that I just hit and can't overcome.