Most of the advice for this seems to boil down to ‘sack up and stop giving so much of a shit’. This is totally true, but it's something you can't get without a total attitude change. Speaking from experience as a dude who acted like a twat trying to get with girls in my uni, I don’t think this will work without a total change in mindset. Saying ‘I like you’ to a girl you’ve not fucked yet in that serious way isn’t smart, but I think there’s a bigger thing at the root of it.

It’s pretty telling how the best advice I can give with almost every thread I see like this is ‘go out and cold approach more’. That’s because if you’re still in the needy, scarce ‘what do I do to get this one special girl’ mindset there is absolutely NO special magic technique to help you. If you try to ‘stop giving a shit to try and get her’ then you still clearly give a massive shit. You need to view cold approach as your primary source of girls for a while, NOT UNI. The social circle shit happens naturally if you stop caring, and focusing on creeping on the thousands of anonymous strangers in the middle of
London is an awesome way to do that.

This is almost identical to me at the start of uni last year. I showed up with this ‘I’ll use my magic PUA trickery to get a girl’ mindset and fucked it up. Then I started going out hardcore. 4 nights a week, no ifs, no buts. Now the way I was when I showed up is so far removed from me it’s sad to remember I once thought like that. Allow me to elaborate:


Case Study 1: Mental ‘I’m needy’ fuck up girl
Me and a girl from my flat at student halls (I know, I know) get into each other in freshers week. This mainly happens cos I just got into game and my confidence with my new skills, despite them being awful and shit, got me through. As time goes by this continues, I get attached. She thought I was just out to fuck her, and I eventually did, but it was the chodey ‘I like you’ shit that made it awkward and fucked everything up. Plus she was a bit mental, but that’s neither here nor there. The problem with this is that it made her resentful, and I ended up living in a horrible passive aggressive social situation that I was stuck with.

Funnily enough thats what caused me to go out and do cold approach all the time, because I couldn't be bothered staying at home with all the tension. The important thing about this is that the minute I stopped seeing uni as my primary source of birds, I started hooking up with more uni birds, because I wasn’t clingy or attached to the outcome.

Case Study 2: Blah Blah who cares glory
New American bird moves into my flat on a student exchange thing. As a result of the last disaster I make a mental note not to let this happen. We go out, get drunk randomly and are getting along awesome. Some other dude chats with us and invites us to his student flat in the same halls. He creeps on the girl. I drink his vodka. We go out and smoke, and the dude tries to take American chick back to his flat. Le fuck I ne give pas. She comes down in 5 mins having not even got into the dude, as she found him creepy then he threw up. Le lol. Next day we head out, I flirt with someone else then American girl kisses me out of nowhere. I tell her this is a bad idea, we agree to keep it casual blah blah blah. Long story short I keep that attitude for a while (not as some trick, I just enjoyed going out creeping on other girls a lot) and that chick becomes my girlfriend for 6 months.

The two situations were almost IDENTICAL. I was approval seeking, needy and scheming in one, and in the other one I didn’t care because I didn’t consider uni my primary source of biznitches. See what I mean?

Let this one go dude. Focus on long term development and macking on randomers instead. Think long term. The benefits massively outweigh the costs.